011 - Protectors - Locomotive Lasagna
011 - Protectors - Locomotive Lasagna
Content Warnings
Guns
Spiders
Bones breaking
Mind manipulation
Panic attack
Hallucinations
[Show intro plays]
ROVER
Hello everyone and welcome back to Remains To Be Seen. The DnD show where one group's past can determine the other group's future. I am your host and DM Rover Elliot, pronouns he/they, and today I am here with...
ALYSSA
Alyssa, she/her.
RIK
Rik, he/him.
ZOE
Zoe, she/they.
MIKE
Mike, he/him.
ROVER
And who are you guys playing?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yitri, she/her, and uh... I don't know how I feel... I feel like I got the most backhanded compliment from Kol, and kind of, what the hell was that?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Pierre, he/him, uhm... You know what? We got some information. We got a lead. That's... that's more than I could've hoped for.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Aleks, he/him, and.. well, we did make some progress with the group, but now I am, once again, sad.
MIKE [as KOL]
Kol, he/him. Everybody doesn't like me and I can't work out why. Maybe one day I'll figure it out.
[Laughter]
ROVER
So, uhm... we finally had some answers, but we also had some sadness. Alyssa, why don't you tell us why all of this... Why? What has been going on?
ALYSSA
Ok, so we finally... We've been talking to the... our contact, Mrs. Williams. She got married pretty recently, I'm happy for her. And she was basically telling us that Jonny works with the Wanted Dead, a.k.a. the Bounty Hunter group. And Nyx is his assistant, so the engraving on the gun, it belongs to the assistant. We also realized that we never filled Kol in on anything. Because we were told he knew, he was told we were gonna tell him. So, lot of miscommunication, really funny. So then we, kind of, have a separate talk of two separate ways we could get in contact with Nyx. We can either ask Miguel for a meeting with the Wanted Dead, or we have Kol's contact with the Hunters Guild and Nyx in... because of it. After that happens, you know, there's two... two things happen, cause party splits. Great. We need to stop doing that. So Aleks gets a chance to read the letter that he was given. And we had a fun surprise guest to read it out! (Chuckles) And then on the flip side; Pierre starts to kind of lecture Kol and Yitri about being more responsible, and then it all turns on Yitri, because Kol was like, "Yeah, it was stupid." And she was like, "I know!" And then he was like... kind of just low-key insulting her, she's like, "Whoa!" So, that happened. She was like... He was like, "I don't think you can protect a chocolate bar." And I was like, "Whoa! We're circling back to that! What the fuck did you say?" (Laughing) You know? And then...
[Laughter]
So while Aleks is crying, Yitri is about to fucking kill Kol, and Pierre's just there. (Laughs)
ZOE
Pierre's also there. (Laughs)
[Laughter]
ALYSSA
Pierre's also there, he's safe for now. (Laughing) Ok, he's safe. Oh, also, at one point, Kol pointed a gun at Yitri. It was not a working gun, but it was still scary nonetheless. And now we're gonna have the conversation between Greta and Aleks. And we're gonna get more sadness. Yeah, hope you're prepared.
ROVER
Tune in for more sadness at the podcast Remains To Be Seen. Shall we tune in with Aleks and Greta?
ZOE
Yeah.
RIK
Oh fuck. (Chcuckles) Oh fuck, here we go.
MIKE
Everyone got their tea?
ALYSSA
I wish I had popcorn.
MIKE
I'm ready.
[Ambient sounds of the outdoors, like birds chirping]
ROVER
(Chuckles) Greta will lead Aleks to the couch and sit both of them down. Yeah, and she will continue to hug you until you let go.
ZOE
Oh, we're gonna be here for a while, then.
ROVER
Just tell me how long Aleks would need.
ZOE
I feel like a few minutes –
ROVER
Ok.
ZOE
– of just like... enjoying the comfort of someone that he actually trusts.
ROVER
Mmhmm.
ZOE
Then, eventually he will just... pull back and kinda... I guess just like blankly stare at the table in front of the couch.
ROVER
Mmhmm. She keeps a hand on Aleks' back and... She takes her time to get her words correctly before she says,
ROVER [as GRETA]
Listen. I-I-I understand if there is a lot currently going on. If you need to talk about it, we can talk about it before you go. I feel like... you need to talk to your party as well. Because... like... Aleks.
ROVER
And she kind of caresses your cheek and says,
ROVER [as GRETA]
I will continue to be angry with Pierre just for the sake of you. But you need to inform your party what's going on. Or try to at least involve them in any way. I will be on your side for as much as you need. But... they have known you for such a short amount of time, you cannot expect them to know everything. And that takes time, and that's okay. And you don't immediately have to tell them literally everything that happened. There's no need for that. You also don't have to tell me everything that happened if you don't want that. But trust doesn't immediately happen in a span of 24 hours. And that's okay.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Greta, I... (Crying) I don't know how I can trust them. The last... the last time I did... The last time I was with someone I-I thought I knew and I thought I could trust, I got taken away from everything that I love. I got taken away from the one person that I have loved. And... And now…
[Soft piano music starts playing]
ZOE
He kinda looks down at the letter.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
(Crying) I-I thought I wanted this. I thought... I thought reading the words... that he seeks closure. And that he wants to say goodbye, would... would be what I need. Because that is all I want from him. I know that I... that I can't give him that closure, because... I... I'm still not free. And I will not risk his life because of my selfishness. He doesn't deserve that. And... he... he thought I left him. It is only fair for him to leave me too, but I just... I-I hope it wouldn't hurt so much.
ROVER [as GRETA]
What we can do is have you write a letter here. And I will find a way to send it to them. And then we can see if we can get back in contact with them. There has... there's no pressure on having to do that now. I can keep that here as long as you want. And then you can tell me to send it whenever you want. And...
ZOE [as ALEKS]
No.
ROVER [as GRETA]
No?
[Piano music slowly fades as the outdoor ambience comes back]
ZOE [as ALEKS]
He told me in the letter that he is saying goodbye. And just... just because I know what happened, does not give me the right to stop him from doing that. I... He needs to move on. And I will not make it his problem that that is something I cannot do.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Ok. Then we won't. But you need to… even if you can't trust people, you need to give them a chance. Because whoever hurt you is not them. Not everyone you trust is out to do you any harm. And from what I can see... these people are more worried about you than angry with you or want to get rid of you in any way. Do you think they would've stayed here if they didn't care even just a little bit? And I can see that there is a lot of struggle going on. Not just with you, but with them, too. And they will probably need to work that out themselves, as well. And once again, if you want me to hate all of them, I will hate them for you. But you need to find a way to find that closure and move on. These people don't know your story. And you don't have to tell them. But you need to give them a chance.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
What... What if I do and then... And then... You know, when it gets serious, they... They just... They just choose the money that you can get from me? What if I let them in and they just betray me?
ROVER
Then she points over to the other side of the room and says,
ROVER [as GRETA]
Then I have a lovely axe and I will find a way...I will call the Bounty Hunters and I will find a way to hunt all of them down.
[Zoe chuckles sadly]
And make sure you get that closure in one way or another. And they will not have a single penny for your life, no one will. And I can promise you that. Obviously I'm not... Look at me. I can't do much, but I can... I have my ways to find help.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
God, Greta, you are way too good for this world.
ROVER [as GRETA]
I know, but we are not talking about that right now, honey.
[Zoe chuckles]
Alright. If you wanna keep in contact with me, you can. You can write me letters. There's a telephone booth right outside my house. We can keep that contact. But you need to do that on your own circumstances. Definitely if you still need to find your way in this world and with these people. And I know that you can. Because you befriended and – very honestly, I saw you guys fall in love – this random stranger who came into my library every single day. You can find those people again, even if it's Viktor or not. And even if it's love or not. Friendship is important too.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
(Crying) Greta, I'm so scared.
ROVER [as GRETA]
I know.
ROVER
And she pulls you back in for a hug. And then says,
ROVER [as GRETA]
If there's anyone I need to currently hunt down, let me know. I will find a way. I will try to help you in any way that I can. Definitely now that the University's closed. Jesus, what have you guys done?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
(Chuckles) That wasn't our fault.
[Laughter]
ROVER [as GRETA]
You know, once again, I will take your word for it. I would also like to see the actual proof. Because, honestly, I believe that you... You have... You kind, kind soul, I believe you have done nothing wrong. But the other three outside my house... I've seen what the people carry with them. I don't trust a single person, other than the person with the axe, everyone with an axe I have favors for, but that's not the point. I will help you out in any way that I can. Emotionally, or where you need me to go... I don't know, cut someone's head off.
[Zoe chuckles]
Don't tell your boss that I said any of this. I do not want to be arrested. Thank you.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Of course not.
ROVER [as GRETA]
But, uhm.. You can ask for help, and that's okay.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I will try.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Ok.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
But I will not ask you to cut anyone's head off. Not for this person.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Aaw, that's a pity. I mean... No, ok, good.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I will let you know if that changes. I promise.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Amazing. Wonderful. Now, do you want me to pack you any cookies or need any other food for you guys? I probably need to tell Eva to go home, as well. She's just awkwardly standing in the kitchen right now. That's uh, that's not great.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
(Chuckles) Well, I hope she had some more soup. She liked that.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Yeah, she loved it! She is taking some stuff home. I will make you guys some soup. And I will make you cookies and I will give it with you guys.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Yeah, I-I think cookies would be a good idea.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Ok.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I feel like we have a lot to talk about on our way home.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Ok. I will then get you some cookies. Alright?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Thank you.
ROVER [as GRETA]
You pack your stuff, be very careful of that letter. You can either keep it here or take it with you. And other than that, I will get you cookies and you can go on your merry way.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Can you... Can you keep the letter for me?
ROVER [as GRETA]
Of course! Of course I will.
ROVER
And she takes it out of your hand.
ZOE
Aleks keeps the paper flower, though.
ROVER
Ok. Yeah, she folds it up and she puts it in the breast pocket of her blouse, and is like,
ROVER [as GRETA]
Once again, if you ever want to... have anything written to them, I can... I can do that for you.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I appreciate that. Thank you.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Of course.
ROVER
And she stands up and walks to the kitchen. And she gets you a little box of cookies for... enough for the four of you. And puts it in your hands and is like,
ROVER [as GRETA]
If I don't get this box back, you owe me a box.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Honestly, I feel like I owe you more than a box.
ROVER [as GRETA]
No, you don't. Come on.
ROVER
And she lets you out of the... of her house towards where the rest is talking. As you guys reunite, she gives Aleks another big hug and then she gives a big smile to Yitri.
ALYSSA
Yay!
ROVER
A nod at Kol and then glances over at Pierre. And if you ever have seen a death stare, it is definitely this one.
[Laughter]
[Rik groans]
And then she... As she turns back to go inside, she gives Aleks a little wink of like, "Don't worry. I got this."
[Rik laughs]
ZOE
She's so great.
ALYSSA
I love her! Oh my god. She is the perfect woman.
[Mike laughs]
RIK
Greta is the best.
MIKE
Greta is the GOAT.
RIK
It's so unfortunate!
ALYSSA
She doesn’t like Pierre.
MIKE
When Aleks walks through the door, Kol – who's been patiently waiting with his two colleagues – is just like,
MIKE [as KOL]
Did you get what you needed?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I'm not sure, but I guess it was a step in the right direction.
MIKE [as KOL]
(Chuckles) Fine. Let's go to the train station. You guys coming?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah.
MIKE
As he starts walking off, and then realizes that he should probably ask. (Laughs)
[Laughter}
I feel like, "Are you... are you coming?"
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, obviously. No, we're gonna stay here.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Yep. (Chuckles) We can stay with Greta.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, we're gonna stay with Greta, yeah.
[Laughter]
ROVER
End campaign, we're staying with Greta.
ZOE
Yay!
MIKE
Yay!
[Laughter]
ZOE
The Bounty Hunters can do the rest.
[Crowd noises begin]
ROVER
You guys can take the train back to London. It'll take about two hours. It is currently, I'd say 1:30 PM in the afternoon. You guys have two hours. I can either, once again, skip the two hours, or we can have the strategizing talk that we have heard a couple times and I immediately see fingers coming up.
MIKE
I was gonna say, before we skip ahead too far, because we also need to pick up a newspaper.
ALYSSA
Yeah.
ROVER
Oh!
MIKE
Or if there's newspapers in the train station.
ZOE
Yep, I was about to say the same thing. They're probably at the train station.
[Train station noises begin]
MIKE
Listeners will remember from the previous episode.
ALYSSA
Yeah, Yitri grabs four, one for each of them, and is gonna hold on to them.
ZOE
Did you pay?
ALYSSA
Yeah. Wait, wait, yeah. Yeah, she...
MIKE
That is the no-est yes I've ever heard, but I'm into it. (Laughs)
ALYSSA
Look, I kinda forgot. So she's gonna like... Ok, so instead of that, scratch that, she's gonna go up to the counter, ask for four papers, and then pocket the – "Pocket it." But then also pays.
[Rik chuckles]
ROVER
Wonderful. Wonderful. We'll do maths later.
ZOE
Is there a way to buy health potions at the train station? Do they have a potion shop there?
ROVER
Not at the train station, you would have to go into the city. There's a health center for non-magical ways of healing. But if you want healing potions, you're not gonna get that there.
MIKE
Actually, Rover, what are some of the eateries that they have at the train station? What are the names of some of the places that they have around Manchester Piccadilly station?
RIK
Oh!
ALYSSA
(Laughing) Why would you do that to him? Why would you do that to him?
ROVER
And you know, listeners, this was the moment that Mike LeBeau became my biggest enemy.
[Laughter]
There are some fried snacks. If you've ever been to the Netherlands, and if you've listened to the Bounty Hunter episodes where I exactly explained which snack you can find near a train station. Yeah, all the Dutch snacks somehow there. We're not gonna talk about the fact that the Netherlands isn't there, but the Dutch snacks are all there.
MIKE
Makes complete sense to me! No, sounds perfect.
ZOE
Didn't we just all eat at Greta's?
ALYSSA
Yeah, we did all...
ROVER
You all had cookies.
ALYSSA
(Stammers) Yeah.
ZOE
We have cookies and we have soup.
ROVER
You can get sandwiches.
MIKE
Stroopwafel, kartoffel.
ROVER
And there will be supermarkets, stuff like that.
RIK
"Kartoffel!"
MIKE
Those chips with that amazing sauce on.
ROVER
Yeah.
MIKE
Crêpes. That's close, right? (Laughs)
ROVER
Yeah! Get the stuff that you wanna get! Nine out of ten things, I will just say yes to anyway. Because, just get what you want.
ZOE
I don't need anything. Yitri has the newspapers, that's kinda all I was interested in.
ALYSSA
That's kinda all we really needed.
MIKE
Out of character, I was opening the door for you to make up a ridiculous pub name. In England, every train station has a pub.
RIK
(Laughing) "Locomotive Lasagna."
MIKE
There you go! The Locomotive Lasagna Place.
ROVER
Yes, the Locomotive Lasagna Place is there, sure. Let's have that one.
MIKE
Perfect.
ROVER
I'm very open to having random suggestions in there! Yeah, perfect!
ALYSSA
(Laughing) Thank you, Elizabeth, very cool!
ROVER
So yeah, you see a pub called The Locomotive...
[Laughter]
ALYSSA
(Laughing) Locomotive Lasagna.
MIKE
You can do it. You can do it.
ROVER
You get that. The Locomotive Lasagna Place. That sells only layered food. Credits to Elizabeth Simpson. Uhm, yeah.
MIKE
(Laughing) Layered food!
RIK
(Laughing) Only layered food.
MIKE
So they have tiramisu, lasagna... (Laughs) Sorry, carry on.
ZOE
I'm waiting outside.
ALYSSA
Yeah, I just have all the newspapers in my hands.
RIK
Who's going inside? Who is this for?
ZOE
I don't know. I'm not!
ALYSSA
Kol is just getting a bunch of Locomotive Lasagna's and we're like, "Shit, we lost him." (Laughs)
MIKE
Yeah, ok. Yeah, d'you know what?
[Laughter]
Kol is gonna go into his favorite restaurant, The Locomotive Lasagna Place.
ROVER
Ok.
MIKE
And get some Locomotive Lasagna for the locomotive.
ROVER
Roll me a Persuasion check just for funsies, and see if you can get a discount.
MIKE
Ok. Uhm… (Laughing) I roll –
ROVER
Oh, no. Did you roll a natural 1?
MIKE
(Laughing) No, I rolled a 14. I rolled a 14.
ROVER
Ok.
MIKE
But it rolled over from a 2, and I was like, "Oh, please. Oh, please!"
ROVER
This is why we have percentile dice to find out how much discount you get.
MIKE
Whoa! Is this the first time we're using percentile dice in this?
[Dice clacks]
ROVER
Yes! You get 20 percent off.
[Cheers for discounted lasagna!]
MIKE
Kol's gone from really grumpy and defensive, because basically Aleks just slammed him over and over again at the previous place, and was like, "Oh, wait a minute, I just gotta get my lasagna." (Laughs)
ROVER
He was hangry.
MIKE
Maybe, yeah.
ROVER
Yeah, you guys can get your snacks, and your newspapers, and head on to the train, question mark?
MIKE
Head on to the train.
ROVER
Ok.
MIKE
Head on to the train.
ALYSSA
Yeah.
ZOE
Yeah, I think it makes… For, like, healing potions and stuff, I feel like it makes more sense if we just look for something in London, cause we’re already at the train station. So…
MIKE
Yeah.
[Crowd noises fade as train ambience begins]
ROVER
Yeah, you guys have the train for two hours, and yeah, just tell me if you wanna do something in the two hours, and otherwise I'll skip it.
ZOE
Yeah, we can't skip it. We have so much to discuss. (Chuckles)
ALYSSA
Can we first read the newspaper? What's on the newspaper?
ROVER
Alright.
ZOE
Actually, yes.
ALYSSA
Give us that.
ROVER
So, the headline is "MIDNIGHT ATTACK AT UNI OF MANCHESTER. PROTECTORS SAVE THE DAY." Most of what has happened, has been covered up.
MIKE
Oh!
ROVER
And... There are photos of also talking about how the Protectors were chosen the day before. There are pictures of when you guys got chosen as Protectors. There's a picture of Aleks getting arrested.
ALYSSA
Do we see the orange Tabaxi in the pictures?
ROVER
The orange Tabaxi, you cannot see them in the pictures.
ALYSSA
Interesting.
ROVER
Yeah, and at some point, you can also see a photo where you guys are walking away from the University, and Kol is also on that photo. And, definitely, you guys have not noticed that that picture has been taken.
ZOE
Does it say anything, like, under the photo of Aleks' arrest? Like, you know, information about that?
ROVER
It does indeed say your name. It only says that you were arrested, nothing else. And once you look a bit further throughout the newspaper, they mention it again. And they say that it ended up being a... kind of like a false arrest.
ZOE
Like a... Just a mistake?
ROVER
Yeah, it was just a mistake. And once again, you can clearly tell that they've covered up most of the dramatics.
MIKE
That's interesting.
ROVER
But your name has been mentioned. Other than that, there is also news on the fact that the House of Six have decided to arrive early. And there are mentions that they are going to have a talk about what is going to happen next. If there should be any precautions made for the future, for the countries. And there's a... only a small note where it's just a journalist being like... "Will Tobias Isworth continue his mission to outlaw the Wanted Dead?" Question mark. And that's kind of what you can spot on it.
ALYSSA [a YITRI]
Ok first, this is not in any way relevant, but who the hell is taking these photos? Who in the hells is taking... I haven't seen a single photographer around. Is there, like... Are they following us? Are they with us right now? Is this something we should be worried about?
RIK [as PIERRE]
You know, Yitri? (Chuckles) Maybe it's the orange Tabaxi, your dear friend. (Chuckles)
ALYSSA [a YITRI]
You know, honestly, I wouldn't... I wouldn't put it past them. “Oh for context, there is this other person that is, you know, very interestingly not mentioned in the paper that was also chosen whose interview was just staring Miguel in his eyes.” And they're like, "Yeah, sure. You go!" And won't respond to anything, except for one question I asked. Which I kind of appreciate. I was like, "Hey." Cause I was trying to get the scope of what the team can do. And then just, kind of, held up a fist. I'm like, "You know what? Ok, that's more than anything I've gotten so far." No one knows this guy's name. No one knows what he does. No one knows where he came from. Everyone's just kind of like, "Yeah! Here's this guy!"
[Chuckles]
And it's really weird. And also, apparently, is supposed to be a part of this group, but isn't with us. And also on top of that isn't mentioned in the paper. So who the hell is this guy? It makes no sense. But anyway, that's my rant. But anyway, yeah. That's weird. A lot of it's weird. But they also just gloss over it, like, "Yeah, that was an accident. We arrested this guy." I mean, this is not a bad thing for us at all. But it's kind of... makes you think how much they cover up normally, you know?
MIKE [as KOL]
Hmm.
ALYSSA [a YITRI]
It's good for us, right now. But like... (Chuckles) Just makes you think.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I don't think this is good for us. This is good for them.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
We made a huge mistake in Manchester. And they are portraying it as if this wonderful, newly appointed, government group just saved the day. Sure, this is somewhat a good look on us as well, but that is just glorious government propaganda.
RIK [as PIERRE]
I don't disagree.
MIKE [as KOL]
It's true. But at least it gives us an advantage.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
It gives us an advantage, but that's not necessarily a good thing. I mean, it makes us look good, but that's not the goal here. The goal is to make sure we're helping people, and (chuckles) I don't think we really...
MIKE [as KOL]
And much rather that to being wanted.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah. That's kinda where I was getting at. But, it's... Also they're fast, jeez. (Chuckles) But... yeah.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Uhm, I'm not sure if I'm remembering this correctly. Wasn't the information that we were given that the House of Six would arrive in a few days? And not now?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah!
RIK [as PIERRE]
Maybe they don't want us there?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Probably not.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Yes. Probably.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Definitely don't want us there.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
But that is just... another thing they have lied to us about.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yitri, you said something was fishy about this job.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I did? I mean, the interview process was fishy. I mean, just...
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yeah.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
If you answered the deep personal questions, you got in. Like, that was it. There is no test of skill. Cause I could've been completely lying. But, I wasn't completely lying. But...
RIK [as PIERRE]
Mmhmm. And I think... I think we should keep this in mind.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh, absolutely.
RIK [as PIERRE]
When we make our decisions.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Yes.
ROVER
Above table indeed for Kol; House of Six are the... I have a perfect sentence for that, because I was (mumbles).
MIKE
Ok.
ROVER
Yeah, “The six European leaders who take the drastic measures for the continent.”
MIKE
Ok, alright, thank you.
ROVER
And it's UK, Italy, Greece, Germany, France... And I am missing someone who I will definitely find immediately.
ZOE
Wasn't it Belgium?
ROVER
Thank you! Belgium, yes. And there was all over the news that they would definitely be here in a couple of days. And now they are here early.
MIKE
Alright, cool. So it's UK, Italy, France, Belgium...
ROVER
Germany.
MIKE
Germany.
[Typing noises]
ROVER
And Greece.
MIKE
And Greece, thank you.
[More typing noises]
ROVER
No worries.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Also, there is nothing here about...
[Newspaper rustling]
There's nothing here about what happened at the University. Just that it was saved. They didn't talk about the people shooting at us. They didn't talk about the, uhm, the one guy... the blindfolded guy. They didn't talk about anyone. They just said, "Hey! There is a problem and they solved it! Woohoo!" So like…
MIKE [as KOL]
Hmm.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah. That's... I mean...
MIKE [as KOL]
You're right. That's suspicious.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Very.
MIKE [as KOL]
But, whoever did this is clearly looking out for us if they painted us as the heroes and not the aggressors.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Exactly.
MIKE [as KOL]
And I mean, that's how Greta saw it, so... Yeah, it curious.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, I mean... Yeah. Cause we didn't do a great job. Like, at all. But again; we had no training. We had no... nothing. They're just like, "Hey, here's some vague information. Here ya go! Have fun! Don't die!" Like, that's not how you should... For something at this scale? I mean, are they even actually expecting us to fight? At this point, I feel like they're... Are they just having us there as fronts?
MIKE
While Kol's listening to Yitri, he's looking over at Aleks and after Yitri finishes, he turns to him and says,
MIKE [as KOL]
You're suspiciously quiet.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I... I'm not sure what you want me to say. I have said my part about the newspaper. I think... I don't think that anyone is looking out for us. I think they're looking out for the reputation of the Crown.
MIKE [as KOL]
Hmm. Well, you don't look like you're thinking about the newspaper. No damning statements about my character this time, Aleks?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Weren't you the one who told me to act more like a colleague? Does it surprise you that I'm trying that?
MIKE [as KOL]
Extremely. But, ok, alright. So, let's put the paper to one side. We need to talk strategy.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Mmhmm.
[Newspaper rustles and thuds]
MIKE [as KOL]
We need synergy, is what we need in this team.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yes, desperately.
MIKE [as KOL]
And the thing is, I've come into this pretty cold. And I don't even know what you guys do. But, I want to know. Because if I'm gonna be a part of this team, I wanna be as effective as I can. So, let's get started, then. Pierre? What do you do?
RIK [as PIERRE]
(Clears throat) I work well up close with people. I can take them down and, uh, I've got my spear.
RIK
Just laying off his backpack.
RIK [as PIERRE]
So, you'll probably want me more on the frontlines, so to speak.
MIKE [as KOL]
Perfect. Aleks?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Well. In theory, I think I can be pretty versatile, but looking at the strengths of this party, I should probably stay in the back a bit and support. I can heal, I can... Well, I can try to help you guys be better. And... Well, if push comes to shove, I can also just kick someone in the face.
MIKE
Kol doesn't have eyebrows, but he definitely raises an eyebrow at that.
[Laughter]
ALYSSA
His metaphysical eyebrow just raises.
MIKE
Like a spiritual eyebrow.
[Laughter]
ROVER
For a moment, the feathers raise. (Laughs)
[Laughter]
MIKE [as KOL]
And Yitri, what do you do?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Well, I have my axe. I have my crossbow as backup. And... like Pierre, I work a little better up close, but can be a little further back. And... yeah. Nothing more to it.
MIKE [as KOL]
Brilliant. Well, in that case, it seems we have our line up, then. If ever this happens again –
ZOE [as ALEKS]
What do you do?
MIKE [as KOL]
Me?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Yeah.
MIKE [as KOL]
Well...
MIKE
He looks over at Aleks to wait for the clapback. You can see in his face, he's expecting a clapback at this point now. And he looks at Aleks and says,
MIKE [as KOL]
I'm most effective at range.
MIKE
And there's a pin-drop silence after he says that as he's trying to suss out whether or not there's going to be some sort of retort.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Well, I guess that makes sense given the guns. Do you think there's anything else we should know about? Other than the ranged combat?
MIKE [as KOL]
I can hold my own in a scuffle. But I'm much, much more effective at range. I mean, these talons aren't just for show.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Ok.
MIKE [as KOL]
So, it sounds like we got our order. If this happens again, Pierre, it looks like you're up front. Yitri, you're in behind Pierre. I'll back both of you up from the backline with Aleks.
RIK
Pierre nods along.
MIKE [as KOL]
I'm looking forward to seeing what you can do.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Well, that's strategy. That works. Uhm, so...
RIK
Damn, the person with combat experience teaching us about combat. That's great, that's great.
[Mike laughs]
ROVER
That's... I think that's really cool. Y'all have to tell me if I... If we can skip the train ride. Other than that, I'm gonna stay silent.
ZOE
I'm thinking.
ALYSSA
Yeah, me too. I'm trying to think of...
ZOE
Are we done with the strategy talk?
ALYSSA
Think so.
ZOE
Do we think?
MIKE
I think so. I mean... Yeah, maybe. I'm gonna say yes. Kol's kind of like... Kol, I think, is incredibly taken aback that he was met with agreeability. I think he's kind of come into this now thinking that everyone's a little bit more hostile. Which is kind of why he's been a bit more heated. And he's like, "Yeah, you do this. You do this. You do this. And we'll probably... We'll have a better result." And everyone's like, "Ok." (Chuckles)
ZOE
It makes sense.
MIKE
And he's like, "Ok?"
RIK
Colleagues acting like colleagues, wow. Wow! Wow! Being a team! (Laughing) Imagine. Imagine!
ROVER
Can I have a Perception check from everyone?
ZOE
We can't... We can't be in a train without a Perception check.
RIK
There's gonna be someone walking by again, spilling hot coffee.
[Dice clacks]
Nat fucking 20, let's go.
MIKE
Oh, let's fucking go.
ALYSSA
I got a 4.
ZOE
Uh, 15.
ALYSSA
I got a 4.
MIKE
14.
ALYSSA
Oh, I don't see anything.
ZOE
Once again, Yitri not being perceptive. No one is surprised.
ALYSSA
No one's surprised.
[Laughter]
ALYSSA
No one's actually said she didn't fully lie on her interview. She lied a little bit.
ROVER
Yitri?
ALYSSA
Yeah?
ROVER
What was it?
ALYSSA
4.
[Dice thunks]
ROVER
Incredible.
MIKE
(Chuckles) Oh, buddy. Oh, buddy.
ROVER
Continue on, I will get back to you in a moment.
MIKE
Kol's just gonna be like,
MIKE [as KOL]
Great. I really can't wait to see what you guys can do. And, uhm, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I was just hangry.
[Laughter]
As he starts tucking into his lasagna.
[Alyssa loses it]
ZOE
As Aleks watches Kol eat the lasagna, he pulls out the cookies that Greta gave him.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Well, if that's the case, I got a little parting gift from Greta.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh, how sweet!
RIK
Ah!
ZOE
And I present the cookies.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Oh, that is so sweet!
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh, she's lovely. She’s so…
ZOE [as ALEKS]
That she is.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I owe... We owe her so much. She let us stay over. She made us cookies. Oh! Lovely, lovely, lovely woman!
ROVER
It makes sense that Pierre has a nat 20 as the...
ZOE
Does it?! Don't just say stuff like that. What?
ROVER
As the –
[Low, ominous music begins]
– cold starts coming in again. And... it feels like the cozy warmth that the train had is falling into cold again. That same cold that you... were the only person that saw that on the battlefield when Aleks went down. It almost feels like a tingle at the back of your neck as...your blood starts running cold again. As you can focus on the wheels of the train going forward, it is like the violin just very slowly at the back of your head.
[Violin comes in]
You're not even sure if it's something you can actually hear, or if it's just your imagination. It sounds like the violin started playing again. And even Aleks does not seem to notice this. Nor does Kol. Nor does Yitri. They're enjoying their cookies. And you are about to enjoy your cookies. As the train comes to a halt.
[Train sounds grow louder and fades. The violin music stops]
As the door opens, new people start coming in. And... it is like, once again, something that you think it's not even... It might not even be a real thing, but you feel as though either something has come inside, or something has gotten on top of the train as the doors close and the train starts going again.
[Train signal goes off]
RIK
(Groans) Oh god.
MIKE
"If you see something that doesn't look right; speak to staff or text the British Transport Police." (Laughs)
[Train starts moving and rumbling again]
ROVER
Everyone else seems to be unbothered by this. And it might just be a gut feeling, and it really depends on what Pierre does with it.
RIK
Like you said, Pierre's hairs in the back of his neck are standing up. And he looks around him. Looks up at the window if it's open or not. No, it's closed. What's going on? He's looking confused around him.
ZOE
Do we notice that?
ROVER
Yeah, give me, everyone else, an Insight check.
[Dice clacks]
ALYSSA
I got a 16.
ZOE
Yeah, no, that's a 4. Oh sorry, no, a six.
MIKE
Oh no, I got a 5.
[Laughter]
ROVER
I mean, ok, so, Kol and Aleks have had a bit of a... Is this... Are we good? Are we not good?
MIKE
It's my lowest roll of the podcast. (Laughs)
ROVER
Yeah, I think so. I think it is.
MIKE
Kol has got his lasagna, he's got cookies, and he is happy. (Laughs)
ROVER
He is so happy. And Aleks is also like, "Oh, finally." Just that bit of going away from Manchester. And Yitri, as you look at Pierre, who is now currently looking around confused, and you seem to be the only person that notices this.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Pierre, are you okay?
RIK [as PIERRE]
No, no, no, uhm... I... I've... I got the same feeling again that I got when I saw that blindfolded man in the University. The same feeling when Aleks went down, I...
[Violin music comes back quietly in the background]
Something's not right.
ROVER
Reminder; Yitri did not see Aleks go down.
RIK
I know, I know.
ROVER
Nor did Kol.
ZOE
Yeah.
RIK
Mmhmm.
ALYSSA
Yitri's eyes widen. She's like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
What do you mean, "Aleks went down"?
RIK [as PIERRE]
I...
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Aleks... What do you mean?
RIK [as PIERRE]
When we were fighting, there were arrows shot into Aleks' back. Things were not...
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Is this when you went after me?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yes. He was badly hurt.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Exhales) Oh god. I'm so sorry.
ALYSSA
She kind of puts a hand on Aleks and is like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I... (Sighs) I'm... I wasn't thinking. I... Everyone else got hurt but me.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Yitri.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
It's alright.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
No, no, it's not o–
ZOE [as ALEKS]
We don't need to talk about that right now. Pierre, what is going on?
ROVER
By the way, Yitri, if you... it depends on where you touch Aleks, if you touch Aleks at least where there's skin shown, Aleks is cold.
ALYSSA
She touches his hand and kind of is like... But keeps it to herself, cause clearly Aleks is not having it. And she slowly pushes... like, pulls her arm away, and she’s just like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ok. We'll... (Sniffs) get to that later. But, what do you mean cold? So cold feeling, like there's... And then you saw... What? I'm just... So, something's obviously going wrong, but what do you know that we don't?
RIK [as PIERRE]
I... I'm not sure, it's just a gut feeling. I got it when something went wrong at the college. And now it's here again. I don't know, Yitri.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
It's… ok.
ALYSSA
She grabs her axe and holds it, just in case. She's gonna hold it in front of her. She's like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Just in case, I’m having this ready. But...
ZOE
Aleks is staring at Pierre really intensely.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Well, if you want, I can see if I can kind of, just, look up and down the train to see if anything's there. Just kind of... I won't bring my axe. Just to confirm is there is anything there, or just see if anything's wrong. Something's clearly very wrong.
RIK [as PIERRE]
I-I'd like that, but we should stick to what we said. We need to protect ourselves first. Then we can protect others, alright?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ok. Ok.
RIK [as PIERRE]
No more running without saying anything.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Of course. Yeah, that's why I wanted to ask, but I...
RIK [as PIERRE]
Alright.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ok. So, are you still feeling it right now? Is it gone? Was it fleetly passing? Was it –?
RIK
I assume I am.
ROVER
Yes, you are.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yes, yes, it's still here. It's still here.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Is it getting closer? Farther?
RIK [as PIERRE]
I don't know, it's cold. The windows are closed. It's cold. I-I don't know. I don't know.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ok, uhm... Kol, do you know anything about this? Aleks, do you feel it?
MIKE
It's amazing to think that Kol has been oblivious to this the entire time with a roll of 4. But he's been singing blue jay songs to himself, you know?
ALYSSA
Aaw!
[Rik laughs]
MIKE
(Singing) "So, my left wing's free. And you're right's in grip." (Speaking) You know? And he's like,
MIKE [as KOL]
Uhm, what... what do I know?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I don't know, like that cold feeling that Pierre's talking about? I-I don't feel it, but like, maybe other people do? I-I don't know.
MIKE [as KOL]
No, I haven't felt anything. Pierre, are you okay?
RIK [as PIERRE]
I don’t know. (Stammers) Is no one else feeling this?
MIKE [as KOL]
I don't think we are, Pierre.
RIK [as PIERRE]
We... We should go check, just...
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Is it just the cold, Pierre?
RIK [as PIERRE]
It's a cold feeling, just around me. And my gut, it just doesn't feel right. It doesn't.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
And there's nothing else?
MIKE
Kol's gonna scoot over a little bit more to Pierre and be like,
MIKE [as KOL]
Is it coming from anywhere in particular? Focus on it, Pierre.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Alright. Uhm...
ROVER
Give me a Perception check.
RIK
Ok. Fucking Perception, oh dear god. Here we go.
[Dice rolls]
15?
ROVER
It is coming from exactly where you guys are sitting.
ALYSSA
Great! That's fucking awesome!
RIK
What the fuck? (Laughs)
MIKE
Kol unholsters his revolver and clicks open the magazine to make sure it's fully loaded before clicking it closed again, holstering it.
ALYSSA
I'm gonna use my glasses and see if there's anything particularly different around the area. She's gonna press the little side of it and look at the... Stand up, look at the, like, wherever they were sitting, and just kind of look at it and try to see.
MIKE
Yeah, and meanwhile Kol is gonna have a look around the room. The room? What do you call it? Cabin? The thing?
ROVER
Yeah.
ALYSSA
Yeah, the thing. The thing.
MIKE
The thing. We're gonna have a... Kol's gonna have a look around the thing that we're in to, uh...
RIK
The thing!
ZOE
I... I will... I will join Kol in looking around the... the carriage.
ALYSSA
Do you need me to roll anything for that, or no?
ROVER
hm, so, who is all going out to.. out of the... the cabins to look around the carriage?
MIKE
I'm not leaving the cabin, no.
ZOE
Yeah, like, looking around where we are.
MIKE
Where we are.
ROVER
Ok.
[Ominous music and train ambience stop]
I would like everyone to deafen except for Alyssa.
ALYSSA
(Exclaims) What's happening, Ro? (Chuckles)
ROVER
As you're looking... you go to... You go to click on your.. kind of the little detective thingy that's on the side of your glasses. And before you touch it, it's like something stops you.
[A whoosh as the ominous music comes back]
And you can't feel what it... It is like this kind of... a cold feeling around your hand that isn't, like, grabbing it, but it is this… feeling... And there is a whisper that, for some reason, you are the only person that can hear that. And it is just,
ROVER [as MYSTERIOUS VOICE]
Well, there is no need for that, is there?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yes, there is! There is a huge need for it! What do you mean?
ROVER [as MYSTERIOUS VOICE]
I don't think there is.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
No, no, no, I do! I do think it is, though.
ROVER
And your blood starts running cold. And…
ALYSSA
Her eyes just widen.
ROVER
And you can look at where the cabin door is. And it is like... the type of bone spider legs that tapped twice on it.
[Bones cracking as they tap the glass]
And then it's pulled away.
[Sounds crescendo and abruptly stop]
The cold feeling goes. And there is another different whisper from someone else.
ALYSSA
Two? I got two?
ROVER
Who says,
ROVER [as MYSTERIOUS VOICE #2]
There is indeed no need for this.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ok, why are two people telling me there's no need to do it?
ROVER [as MYSTERIOUS VOICE #2]
This one is for me. Thank you?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
F-for you?! Who are you?
ROVER
And everything disappears and once you tap it, it's... there's nothing.
[Train ambience comes back in the background]
There is nothing that you can detect. You can detect that there is, except for the fact that there is something wrong with Aleks. And it's because you can see that there is this... it's not like he is undead, but there is an undead aura there around him in general. But it's nothing magical that seems to be stuck in or around him. It is just an aura. And everything else seems to just go. Except for the fact that you just had two people whisper and you, for a split second, saw the spider legs and it's just gone. And that's all.
ALYSSA
What the fuck?! She kind of falls to the ground and she's gonna, kind of like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Out of breath) Go back to your seat.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yitri?
MIKE [as KOL]
Yitri?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Who was just talking to me?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Who? What?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I heard two voices. They were telling me that I didn't need to do what I was gonna do. And then I was like, "Well, yeah, I do need to do it, cause clearly I'm hearing fucking voices!" And then afterwards, just a cold feeling like Pierre was describing. Then someone was pushing my hand, and I'm like, "No!" I was trying to fight it back. And... and then... then I saw the–the bone...
RIK [as PIERRE]
Slow down. Slow down, Yitri. Slow down. Take a breath.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Takes a deep breath) The bone spider was over there and then it was just yanked away. And...
RIK [as PIERRE]
It was here?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I don't know. I don't know what's real or not anymore. And then I don't see anything here, except, like...
ALYSSA
And she looks at Aleks. And she's just gonna, like...
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Except for, you know, the normal... the normal train stuff, you know? And... I just wanna... It was so weird. They were telling me not to check.
MIKE
Kol is gonna check outside the door, just to make sure it's clear while all of this is happening. Like, he's just gonna slide the thing open, check it, see if it's... see if the coast is clear.
ROVER
Yeah, coast is clear. There's nothing.
MIKE
He'll shut the door again, then.
MIKE [as KOL]
Yitri...
RIK
Pierre's gonna attempt to help Yitri into the seat again.
MIKE
Yeah, Kol's gonna help as well.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Thank you. I... That was so weird. It was two different –
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Yitri, are you hurt?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
No, I-I'm fine. Just shaken up a little bit. Two different voices. One said, "There's no need to do that." Then the other one said, again that, and, "This one's for me." Whatever the hell that means. What do you mean? Did you mean me? That one's for them? Whoever it was, I didn't recognize either of the voices. I-I never heard voices before like that. I-I'm not, like, attuned to the Gods, or like... I hear voices. That's not something I do.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Who... Who was it? What kind of voices?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I don't know!
ALYSSA
What kind of voices were they?
ROVER
One of them... If we can discern it in feelings, it is… a voice that is deep and sinister, next to a... the second voice being light and... cheery? That might not be the right thing, but there's something else there. Just... The complete opposite.
ALYSSA
Can I see if I recognize either of the voices? Can I roll to see... I mean, I don't think I will, but can I try?
RIK
I mean, you said something about your sister, or something.
ALYSSA
I do have a sister, yeah.
RIK
Yes, yes, but you said you heard their voices as well. I'm also referencing those.
ROVER
You could roll something. However, I can already tell you that you don't recognize them, no matter what you roll.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I don't know who they were. One was like, very deep and cold and sinister. Like, definitely very evil-sounding. The other one, the second one, was the exact opposite. It was, like, light and kind and... That one's the scarier one for me, cause it was like, "This one's for me." And I don't know what that means. I don't know what any of that meant.
MIKE
Kol's gonna put a hand on your shoulder and ask,
MIKE [as KOL]
Be specific. What did they say to you?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
One said, "There's no need for you to do that." As I was gonna use my sunglasses. And then there was a force trying to push my hand away. And the other one said, "There's no... There really..." Cause I just went back, like, "There is a need! I need to see what's going on there. Like, I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't." And then the other one said, "There really isn't a need. This one's for me." Whatever the hell that means! And it's... (Sighs) I don't know who they were. Never heard those voices in my life. Never heard voices, period, in my life. But those specific ones, I just don't know who they were. And...
MIKE [as KOL]
Hmm. Well...
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I just wanted to see what was there. But I-I saw nothing.
MIKE [as KOL]
But you saw the spider again?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah. I just... And then it just got yoinked out, and.. I feel like it was just something playing tricks on us.
MIKE [as KOL]
Can you point to where you saw the spider?
ALYSSA
She's gonna point to where she saw it. I don't remember where she saw it, actually. (Chuckles)
ROVER
It was at the door. It's like... There's a small window in the two slidey doors. And it was just, *tap tap*. Two of them on the glass.
ALYSSA
Yeah.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, it was just tapping on the glass near the sliding doors.
RIK
Two bone spiders or two legs?
MIKE [as KOL]
Hmm.
ROVER
Two legs.
ALYSSA
Legs. Two legs.
RIK
Ok.
MIKE [as KOL]
Hmm. I get the impression that we're being hunted.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Huffs) What gave you that – ?
MIKE [as KOL]
We need to be vigilant.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
What gives you that impression? Sorry.
[Laughter]
Sorry, that was... That was rude. Sorry, I'm just really shaken up. My bad.
MIKE [as KOL]
No, no, I deserved that.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
No, you don't.
MIKE [as KOL]
No, I completely understand.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
No, you don't. That was lashing out. My bad. I –
MIKE [as KOL]
No, the chocolate thing, I feel bad about that. I'm gonna be honest with you, that was a stupid thing to say.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I appreciate that you feel bad about that.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
The chocolate thing?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
That's a long story, Aleks. I'm gonna fill you in later. I'll fill you in later. We gotta focus on...
MIKE [as KOL]
This is getting out of control. (Sighs)
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Alright.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yes, we gotta focus on what's at hand. Something's following us. And it's not just those photographers that are, like, weirdly good at getting pictures of us. Because that... Did any of you notice a single photographer, like, the entire time we were there? Like, anywhere?
MIKE [as KOL]
Hmm. Not that I can remember.
RIK [as PIERRE]
No, but let's focus on the subject.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I know, yeah, sorry, sorry.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yeah.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
But something's trying to either mess with us, or communicate with us. And it already happened to Pierre. Now it happened to me. And I just really hope these glasses aren't broken.
MIKE [as KOL]
So, to be clear, you saw it on that window there?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yes.
MIKE [as KOL]
Ok, well, we got another hour and a half until we get to London, so, uhm...
MIKE
And Kol is gonna walk over to the door, and cast Alarm on the door. Because I finally remembered that I have things that I can do. (Laughs)
ALYSSA
Yay!
ZOE
Nice! Nice! Look at you go!
ROVER
Tell us what Alarm does and how you cast it.
MIKE
Ok, so Alarm is one of those spells, or one of those things that's only really useful in like, uhm... in certain situations. It's a ritual spell. But basically you just set an alarm against unwanted intrusions. So you can cast it on a door, a window, sort of like an area. I think it covers up to a 20 foot cube if you want it to, so it can be pretty big. Bearing in mind that a standard cube on a DnD map is 5 by 5, right? So, it's 4 cubes by 4 cubes. So it's a pretty large area. But that area that you touch then becomes basically warded, essentially. It takes a little bit of time to cast the spell. It actually takes a minute to cast Alarm. But yeah, the idea is, if you're sleeping or if someone accidentally falls asleep, Alarm will wake you back up again. It's like an Alarm clock, if you will.
ROVER
So, how does Kol cast that?
MIKE
In order to cast it, Kol very carefully traces the lines of the door with one of his wings.
ROVER
Mmhmm.
MIKE
And sort of, very intricately, follows all of the little crenelations... are they crenelations? Like, follows all of the little divots and rivets and everything around the door, until the... from one point, all the way around the perimeter, and back to the point that he started. And when he does that, you see a shimmer flash across the door…
[Quick sparkle noise]
… and then it just looks like a normal door.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
You have magic too? You didn't mention that. You have magic too?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Kol, what did you do?
MIKE [as kOL]
I alarmed the door. If anyone comes through there, we'll know. It gives us a bit of piece of mind. Call it an insurance policy.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Right.
ROVER
And as you guys continue your journey in the train, nothing else suspicious happens, before you get into London. Where... as the door opens, they haven't seen you guys yet.
ALYSSA
The alarm goes off.
ROVER
But… What?
MIKE
(Laughing) Yeah! Yeah, the porter opens the door and the alarm goes off, and everyone's like, (gasps) Whaaa! (Laughs)
ALYSSA
We're like, "Oh my god!"
[Train sounds stop as station ambience and crowd noises begins]
ROVER
The porter opens the door. You can sport reporters standing outside. Who haven't seen you guys yet, but they are standing outside.
[Backgrounds noises stop]
With the adventures continuing in London, we'll see what happens in the next episode of Remains To Be Seen.
RIK
Ah, motherfucker. Aah!
ZOE
Yay!
ALYSSA
Fuck you!
MIKE
What, really? That's it?
ROVER
That's it.
MIKE
Come on, man! You gotta give the listeners more than that! No, come on! No!
ALYSSA
Well, you didn't get a lot of it cause you were deafened for a bit. You didn't get...
MIKE
I know! I just wanna find out!
ROVER
The listeners got a lot!
MIKE
But I wanna know! But Mike wants to know!
[Laughter]
ALYSSA
But here's the thing, Yitri told you everything that happened.
MIKE
Aaw. Aw man, I just wanna have more fun with my friends. Is that such a crime?
[Laughter]
ROVER
Well luckily, we have another episode to record .The listeners can wait a week. Alright.
ZOE
Whoo!
MIKE
Yaay! Whoo!
ROVER
What happens next remains to be seen. See you next week. Bye-bye, everyone.
ZOE
Buh-bye!
MIKE
Bye!
RIK
Buh-bye, see you next week!
ALYSSA
Bye!
[Show outro plays]
Remains To Be Seen is an original podcast created by Dyaflame Studios and licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share-alike 4.0 International License.
Today’s episode was produced by Elizabeth Simpson and edited by Mees Verkade and Jo Mendacium. It starred:
Rik den Breejen as Pierre Ardoise
Mike LeBeau as Koltrast
Alyssa Roldan as Yitri Meadowtwirls
Zoe Emily as Aleksander Aintsworth
And Rover Elliott as the Dungeon Master
The intro and outro were composed by We Talk of Dreams, and the transcript was written by Kim van Teeffelen.
To get in touch with us and keep up to date with our antics, follow us on Instagram, BlueSky and TikTok @ DyaflameStudios or view our website at www.dyaflame.com
Check our show notes for additional credits, links and transcripts.