009 - Protectors - Promises
009 - Protectors - Promises
Content Warnings
Guns
Bombs (mentioned)
Grief
[Show intro plays]
ROVER
Hello everyone and welcome back to Remains To Be Seen. The DnD show where one group's past can determine the other group's future. I am your host and DM Rover Elliott. he/they pronouns, and today I am here with...
ALYSSA
Alyssa, she/her pronouns.
RIK
Rik, he him.
ZOE
Zoe, she/they.
MIKE
Mike, he/him.
ROVER
And who are you guys playing?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yitri, she/her, and I think I'm having a fun little kiki with this librarian lady and I kind of love it.
RIK
Aaw.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Pierre, he/him, and currently I'm cleansing my hands and I can't even feel the warm water.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Aleks, he/him. I have missed Greta so much.
MIKE [as KOL]
Koltrast, he/him. What time is it? Why did you wake me up for this?
[Laughter]
ROVER
Well, Kol, we kinda woke you up for Alyssa to do the recap for the previous episodes.
MIKE [as KOL]
Oh, ok.
ALYSSA
Alright, so what we missed on Glee. Ok, uhm, so...
[Laughter]
So, basically, we all had the plan to leave, but then there's a security guard... there's two security guards left, so then Yitri was like, "Oh, we gotta protect them." Goes out, fucks over all the plans. And so, she gets the dead security guard into one of the buildings. Aleks goes down. Bones. Don't know why. Sees a guy and hears a violin, crazy. Pierre sees it happen. Kol doesn't. Ok, we then... we go to the infirmary, get healing potions, though no one takes them but Yitri. She feels a little... it's kinda greedy, that's, like, biblical greed. And then they split up, even though splitting the party is bad, in this case, it actually was really good. Kol and Pierre went to lead people to evacuate and had a very, deep, serious conversation and then promptly after that got very lost.
[Mike laughs]
Then Yitri and Aleks went to the library and we found Greta who knows Aleks and also is the love of all of our lives. I'm in love with her.
[Zoe laughs]
And now we're staying in her house and we saw everyone but Yitri's nighttime routines, cause I didn't have one and everyone was like, "Oh, here's my little nighttime skincare routine." (Laughing) And I didn't get it, but...
[Laughter]
Well, you know, skincare can be emptying out your revolver and fix it, you know what I mean? Like, it's... I don't know.
RIK
Guess you could call it skincare, yeah.
MIKE
You're not wrong. That is skincare.
ALYSSA
But yeah, that's basically where we left off.
ROVER
Ok. So, before we go to the next morning, we're gonna pan back a little bit before that to Pierre, because we had a little moment with Pierre before last episode. However, I think we're gonna have something added to it. So, we'll start there and then we're gonna go into the fun bit.
MIKE
There you go, Pierre. Do the un-fun bit for us. (Laughs)
RIK
The un-fun bit! I love doing the un-fun bit!
[Laughter]
(Sighs) So, Pierre's washing his hands with water he can't feel.
[A choir starts singing a sad song in the background]
And he looks at himself in the mirror.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Comment suis-je censé les protéger? (How am I supposed to protect them?) Tu me manques (I miss you.) (On the verge of crying) I don't know what to do with these people. I really... I really wanna do good by them. How could I... How could I protect them? I couldn't even protect you.
[Choir stops singing]
RIK
Turns off the tap. Straightens out. Takes a deep breath, and gets outside. Gets ready to bed.
[Sounds of nighttime begin in the background as crickets start chirping]
ROVER
Ok. Can I have a Constitution saving throw from everyone and with Aleks with disadvantage.
ALYSSA
What the fuck.
ZOE
(Imitating Rover) Meh, meh, meh, meh.
MIKE
Oh, pffft. Aw, man.
[Dice ASMR]
ROVER
Welcome to my favorite part of DnD. Nightmare mode.
[Rik laughs]
MIKE
I hate you.
RIK
I got a 1.
ZOE
5.
MIKE
Ah, fucking hell. I got a 10.
ALYSSA
I got a 15!
ROVER
Yitri, you sleep fine. This bed was perfect, the sleep was perfect. Everything was perfect. Nothing could ever go wrong again. Except for the day you just had, you just need to be better this day. You're gonna be fine.
ALYSSA
Yeah.
ROVER
Uhm, Aleks.
ZOE
Yeah? (Chuckles nervously) What is it?
ROVER
The coldness that you got from the day before from everything happening has not gone away. You can technically put on as much layers and so many blankets as you want to, it is not going away. And you can feel, just before you go to bed, these... two points near your shoulder blade where the arrows hit before you went down, you can feel like... something's pushing there. And it could be that it's something, like, you... either some kind of muscle ache, or there's just... you just laid wrong. But there's just pressure at the two points where you've been hit.
[Violin music starts playing]
Your dreams are replaying the exact same moment over and over again with what you saw before you thought you died. And it just keeps playing, and his face keeps showing up. You know, even with your dreams, even if this would be a nightmare or not, you know he knows where you are. You know exactly that he knows every single step that you're taking. And even with you running away from that, nothing will change. And it's like the violin keeps playing, and even as you wake up, it's like it's playing for another five seconds before it eventually drowns out.
[Violin music stops and cricket chirping comes back]
Pierre?
RIK
(Laughs) Oh dear.
ROVER
Hey, Pierre.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Hi, what's up? Hi.
ROVER
Hi, Pierre, how you doin', buddy?
RIK [as PIERRE]
That's my...
ROVER
I have not forgotten about your natural 1. I'm gonna say this, because I do want this to be on the episode. Do you guys remember back in episode 2 or 3, where Pierre got... what do you call it? Psychic damage from a certain creature?
ZOE
Yeah.
MIKE
Oh yeah. Yep.
ZOE
Yes.
ROVER
And I said to him, "You hear screaming from a familiar person."
MIKE
Oh.
ROVER
Rik thought I meant someone else than I did.
MIKE
Oh!
RIK
(Laughing) I did! I did.
MIKE
Oh!
ROVER
So, we finished that real quick. And it was, like, in that moment Pierre could have indeed thought, "Ok, no, this isn't... It's nothing. It's just... it's just them. It's nothing else." And as you're dreaming, it's playing back.
[Eerie music starts playing]
You feel that same feeling when they dug, almost through your skull to the back of your head to find that part. Everything just... I'm gonna say it as it is, went to shit. And it's just... it keeps going. You can hear the familiar screams starting back up. And you can see the scene in front of you when it happened. And it is the most realistic version of this dream you've had in a while. Give me a Perception check. Yes, this is weird in a dream. Give me a Perception check.
[Alyssa and Rik chuckle]
RIK
"How lucid are you?" That is a 16 plus 1. 17.
ROVER
You can hear something. You can hear something that you for sure would've known that you would've heard in that moment. But now as the dream feels more realistic, feels like you're actually back there, it's just…
[Unnatural grumbling noises]
The Order is coming for you. The Order is coming for you.
MIKE
(Stammering) Fucking... Wh–... Like... What?
ALYSSA
Que?
ROVER
And it's digging and it's digging.
MIKE
Huh?
ROVER
And it's like one of them, when they killed them, turns to you and tries to attack you before you wake up.
[Music crescendos before if abruptly stops]
Cold sweat. And you guys have long-rested.
[Birds chirping in the background]
[Rik laughs]
MIKE
Uuh... (Laughs)
ALYSSA
Imagine, like, "Oh, such a nice long rest. Here's an Order!"
ROVER
(Like Willy Wonka) Good morning, sunshine! The Earth says "Hello!".
ZOE
Good morning!
[Laughter]
MIKE
Oh my god.
RIK
(Also like Willy Wonka) Good morning, sunshines!
[More laughter]
I'm gonna make you guys some eggs and bacey!
[Alyssa laughs]
MIKE
Oh boy.
ROVER
So. Yeah, it's morning. Greta left on the... at the door... she left on the desk a little note for Aleks and Yitri saying that she will be downstairs when they are ready.
ALYSSA
Aaw.
ROVER
And when Kol and PIerre wake up..
MIKE
Oh my god, they're, like, best friends now. (Laughs)
ROVER
(Laughs) Greta's in the kitchen. She is making tea.
ZOE
Quick question about the long rest.
ROVER
Mmhmm?
ZOE
With long resting you regain your spell slots and hitpoints, right?
ROVER
Regain all your hitpoints, all your spell slots. Aleks, the coldness still isn't gone.
ZOE
Ok.
ROVER
Yeah, Greta's downstairs making tea. And yeah, you guys can decide what you wanna do when, how, and what.
ALYSSA
So, I kind of assume that Yitri is gonna wake up first. Kind of, like, you know when you have no need to wake up super early, but your body just does?
ROVER
Mmhmm.
ALYSSA
Especially when you go to sleep super late. It's definitely what happened to her. Even though she was in more of a meditative whatever the hell it is.
ROVER
Yeah.
ALYSSA
But she, kind of, just looks and peeks from the bottom bunk and looks up to see Aleks, who is either still sleeping or pretending to. She notices the note.
ROVER
Mmhmm.
ALYSSA
She's gonna get up and, like, really quietly read it. And put it back and sit and she's gonna wait for Aleks to wake up before she goes downstairs.
[Rooster crows]
RIK
Hmm. Like you said, Pierre is gonna wake up in a cold sweat.
ROVER
Mmhmm.
RIK
I guess around the same time that Greta comes downstairs and is making tea. And he's gonna go to her and join her.
[Ambient sounds of the outdoors, like birds chirping and dogs barking]
ROVER
She turns her head to look at you, focuses back on the teakettle and says,
ROVER [as GRETA]
Want anything?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Uhm, not a big breakfast person, but maybe the others do. You think I should make something for them?
ROVER [as GRETA]
I'm talking about a drink. You want coffee? Tea? I'm already doing that.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Oh.
ROVER [as GRETA]
You just sit there and tell me what you want.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Oh, uh, tea, please.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Ok.
ROVER
And she makes you a cup of tea. Puts it down on the table in front of you.
RIK [as PIERRE]
(Clears throat) What you making? Uh…
[Spoon stirring in a tea cup]
RIK
He puts on a fake smile.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Tea. I'm making tea.
RIK [as PIERRE]
(Stammering) Oh. O-oh, I thought you meant, like, you know...
RIK
Scratches his head a little.
RIK [as PIERRE]
I thought you meant, like, you know, solid food f-for the bunch.
ROVER
She turns around to look at you and places her hands on the table to lean forward and says,
ROVER [as GRETA]
Listen. From what I know, from what I noticed, Aleks is not the biggest fan of you. The reason that you're still in my house, is cause he said 4. The reason you're still here is because of him. What we'll make for food, we'll see when everyone's downstairs.
RIK
Pierre kinda looks downward.
[A horse walks past]
ROVER [as GRETA]
You can wait, unless there's something you want, but you just said that you don't eat breakfast.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Oh, well, I wanted to make something for them. Not necessarily for me.
ROVER [as GRETA]
This is my house. You do not touch anything in my house. Thank you.
MIKE
As you hear the *click* of a revolver cylinder clicking back into place and Kol gets up from the sofa, and is like,
MIKE [as KOL]
(Groans) Good morning, everyone. Ugh, god. Thank you for the bed.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Tea? Coffee? Anything else?
MIKE [as KOL]
Oh tea, please.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Wonderful.
[Tea pouring]
ROVER
And she makes you tea as well, and she hands it over to you.
MIKE [as KOL]
Thank you.
[Sounds of tea being served]
MIKE
As Kol sits up on the sofa and sips his tea.
ROVER
Aleks?
[Ambient outdoor sounds continue and a rooster crows]
ZOE
Aleks wakes up and the first thing he does is, like, check his surroundings. He then, after he deemed that it was safe for himself, he looks down at his hand to see if the two rings are still on his finger. And after that he gets up and sees if he can find Yitri, who I assume is sitting on her bed? Like, in a... he can't really see from up.
ALYSSA
Yeah.
ZOE
Ok. And he looks at her.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Good morning.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh, good morning. Did you sleep okay?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
No.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Fair enough. Uh, there's a note by the door. I think Greta is making breakfast, if you wanna go down.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
You go down first, I'll be right behind you.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh, o-ok, sure.
ALYSSA
And she kind of takes it as her permission, I guess, to go downstairs and she doesn't have... I feel like she definitely looks like she was sleeping really good. You know when you wake up and you definitely look like you had a good sleep?
ROVER
Mmhmm.
ALYSSA
Like, her hair is a mess and she doesn't have her sunglasses on. Her little fancy ones. And so she just kind of goes down and tries to fix her hair a little bit and just yawns, is like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Good morning, everyone. I... I got your note, Greta. Uh, thank you for that.
ROVER
She immediately perks up a bit and is like,
ROVER [as GRETA]
Oh wonderful! Did you sleep well? Is everything okay?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, I slept great! Thank you so much.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Oh, amazing!
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I really appreciate you letting us stay. That's really kind of you.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Of course! You want some tea, coffee, anything?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Uh, I'll have some tea, yeah!
ROVER [as GRETA]
Oh, wonderful!
ROVER
And she starts making tea and hands it to you.
[Sounds of more tea being served]
ROVER [as GRETA]
Is, uh... Is Aleks still asleep?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Uh, he's awake. He just... he said to go down first. He said he's gonna come down right after me. I guess maybe he's doing something?
ROVER [as GRETA]
I'll go... I'll go check up on him.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Cool.
ROVER
And she kind of pats your shoulder and walks out of the kitchen and goes upstairs. She knocks on the door, even though it's open, she knocks. She knocks on it quietly and is like,
[Quiet knocking]
ROVER [as GRETA]
Tea? Coffee? Nothing?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Tea would be great. Feeling a bit cold right now.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Of course.
ROVER
She is about to leave and then stops and then turns her head to look at you.
ROVER [as GRETA]
I can assume you've had a... rough couple days. Months. I saw the... I saw the poster. Is that something you want to talk about? Is there something you think you should talk about?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I'm not sure. I... I don't know what to think or what to do right now. It's, uh... it's a lot.
ROVER
She goes into your room and she kneels down. And, actually, are you still in bed or not?
ZOE
Even if I was, it would be the top bed.
ROVER
Yeah, exactly, that's why I was like, "she's not gonna kneel down."
ZOE
I don't think he is, though. I think he's just kinda, like, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
ROVER
Ok.
[Alyssa giggles]
RIK
Oh! Oh!
MIKE
We all do that. We all do that, bud.
RIK
Poor Aleks. Oh!
[Mike chuckles]
ROVER
She goes to stand in front of you and...
ROVER [as GRETA]
I have something that you need to read, I think, at some point. I know that things are quite a lot for you right now. It's... It's from them. They sent it to me a couple of months ago and said that I needed to give it to you when I saw you again. And of course I didn't see you again, so...
ROVER
Yes, Mike?
MIKE
Question from the floor.
ROVER
Yes.
MIKE
Can I... Can I roll a Stealth check?
RIK
No, Mike!
ALYSSA
Are you gonna eavesdrop, bro?
RIK
Oh. Oh!
ROVER
I'm fine with you rolling a Stealth check, absolutely.
ZOE
Oh, you bitch. You bitch.
MIKE
Thank you so much. I appreciate you.
[Zoe laughs]
ROVER
Aleks, give me a Perception check as well. Same goes for Greta.
[Dice ASMR]
MIKE
12.
ZOE
10.
ROVER
Greta notice you and, before she continues talking, she looks over Aleks' shoulder, catches Kol. I think that... I assume that's what you're doing. I think you're assuming to eavesdrop?
MIKE
Well, not necessarily. I think Kol –
ROVER
Not necessarily, ok.
MIKE
– originally was planning on, sort of, walking up the stairs to check if they were okay.
ROVER
Mmhmm.
MIKE
Heard they were talking, and decided to do it quietly, instead of, like... So as not to disturb.
[Rover laughs]
But eavesdropping could've been part of the scenario.
[Laughter]
ROVER
So she sees you coming up the stairs and is like,
ROVER [as GRETA]
Your friend is here. If you want, I can close the door. If you want, we can let him in.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Don't let anyone in.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Ok.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I don't really know these people.
ROVER
She goes to the door and is about to close it, and before that she kinda leans out, is like,
ROVER [as GRETA]
If you want anything more to drink, go help yourself. Don't let the Dwarf touch anything. But...
MIKE [as KOL]
Uh, oh, sure. Is he okay?
ROVER [as GRETA]
That, honey, is none of your business.
ROVER
And she closes the door.
ALYSSA
Damn.
RIK
Greta's such a legend.
MIKE
Kol will take a deep breath in and turn around and head back down the stairs.
ROVER
Ok.
MIKE
While muttering to himself,
MIKE [as KOL]
Why can't the Dwarf touch anything?
[Laughter]
Is this racism?
RIK
Can't feel it anyway, guys.
ROVER
(Laughs) And she walks back –
RIK
No worry.
ROVER
– to Aleks, is like,
ROVER [as GRETA]
Again, I... I have it with me. I've kept it here. If you want it, you can read it. I did not read it, I don't know what's in it. They specifically asked me not to read it.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I want to read it.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Ok. Do you want me to bring it upstairs with some tea?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
No, I'm coming down with you.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Ok.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I'm gonna... I'm gonna pocket it for now.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Ok.
RIK
(Whispering) Pocket the paper.
ROVER
(Whispering) Pocket the paper.
ALYSSA
(Quietly) He pocketed the paper!
RIK
(Quietly) Pocket the paper. They did the thing! They did the thing! He did the thing!
ZOE
I'm gonna pocket the paper.
ALYSSA
He did the thing! He did the thing! He did the thing!
ZOE
Yeah.
[Laughter]
ROVER
And I think, before that, she will give you a quick hug again. Before letting you go and opening the door and walking down the stairs. And as she passes all of you, she give Pierre a glare.
[Laughter]
RIK
Pierre does not see this. He's kinda sitting in his chair looking at his tea. He hasn't touched it. Is kinda, (laughing) sitting in the chair like a schoolboy, kinda like, (sad noises).
[Laughter]
Hands on his thighs, kinda hunched over. Kinda making himself small. Which he already is, I mean.
[Laughter]
ROVER
Mmhmm. Ok. And she's gonna start looking through some drawers.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Oh, oh, Kol, do you... K-Kol, it's Kol, right? I don't even know if anyone told us your... told me your names, so, you know what? You.
RIK
No, they didn't. Oh my god.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Eavesdropper.
MIKE
No, I don't think we did. No.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Eavesdropper. Go make some tea.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Kol. You were eavesdropping?
MIKE [as KOL]
Uhm, it's Kol. And uh...
ROVER [as GRETA]
Kol.
MIKE [as KOL]
I wasn't eavesdropping.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Well…
MIKE [as KOL]
I was going to check if they were okay.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Really, in someone's own home. That's crazy.
MIKE [as KOL]
I'm going to go put tea on. And if anyone wants to join me, they're welcome to.
MIKE
As he walks into the kitchen.
[Chuckles]
ROVER
Amazing.
ROVER
Yeah, she's just gonna look through some drawers.
ZOE
In the meantime, Aleks did not come downstairs with Greta. He did, like, a quick morning routine, which I have also written down.
[Laughter]
ROVER
Incredible. Say it! I need to know.
RIK
Yes! Hit us with it! Hit us!
MIKE
Just before you jump into it...
ZOE
Yeah.
MIKE [as KOL]
Greta, where is your tea? These cupboards are a mess.
[Laughter]
ROVER [as GRETA]
In the right drawer down. Oh my...
MIKE [as KOL]
I'm in that – Oh, oh, this drawer, oh.
ROVER [as GRETA]
(Sighing) Oh... You...
MIKE [as KOL]
This and fucking libraries.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Someone needs to teach you more about tea and where tea things have to be. Oh my god.
ROVER
Hmm, your morning routine then?
[Laughter]
ZOE
"Where tea things have to be." (Laughs)
RIK
Oh, Greta, you legend. You absolute legend!
ALYSSA
I love her so much.
ZOE
Oh. Ok, So. He's kinda just standing in the room and he goes back to the bed to pick up the notebook and the piece of paper. He doesn't read the paper ,again, but he looks at it with a... just with a really sad look in his eyes. And he puts it back in the notebook. Notebook goes in the bag, he does a quick morning prayer on the window before he puts the jewelry back on, the cloak back on. Grabs his stuff, like his weapons, just to make sure that it's ready if need be. And he walks downstairs, goes to sit on the couch and puts his stuff next to him, but just still within reach. That was, once again, the short version.
[Chuckles]
ROVER
So…
MIKE
And if you wanna hear the long version, you can follow us on Patreon.
[Laughter]
That will have all the extended versions of all our wake up and goodnight routines.
ROVER
Yeah, indeed! Cause we absolutely have Patreon! Definitely find our Patreon on Patreon/Patreon.
[Mike laughs]
She motions for Kol to bring the tea to Aleks. As she gets out a piece of paper from one of the drawers.
MIKE
Kol is this... (laughs) trained killer, who is carrying, daintily, a very delicate china tea set with a teapot that's painted in this beautiful, pastel pink and a matching cup to go with it. On a dainty, little tea tray up the stairs to Aleks.
ROVER
(Whispering) He's at the couch, he's downstairs.
ZOE
(Whispering) I'm downstairs!
MIKE
Downstairs.
[Laughter]
He's carrying this dainty, little tea tray over to the couch, sets it out on the small coffee table in front of the couch, and then goes to sit down next to Aleks.
ROVER
Yeah, she walks over to Aleks and... she kneels down and... hands you this... envelope, which is a faded, purple color, like it was left out in the sun for too long. And it kinda, faintly smells like lily of the valley, lilac, and vanilla.
RIK
Does it smell like Prestidigitation?
ROVER
It does not smell like Prestidigitation, because that smells like soap. That is from an improv question.
[Laughter]
And she hands it to Aleks.
ZOE
He takes it with a very... just a very numb expression. And he pulls out his notebook from his bag and puts that letter in the notebook as well, before he puts the notebook back.
ROVER
And she stands up again, is like,
ROVER [as GRETA]
So, I think you guys are gonna have to start by telling me why you were in the University at 2 in the fucking morning.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Sighs) Hmm.
ALYSSA
Yitri looks at Kol –
MIKE [as KOL]
Hmm. Well…
ALYSSA
– and then looks back and is like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Well, uh...
ALYSSA
And then she... Does Aleks actually do the things where he cuts – Like, "don't say anything"?
ZOE
No. No, it's just me as the player hoping you're not gonna let Kol explain anything.
ALYSSA
Oh, no! Not letting Kol explain anything. I'm being... I'm looking at Kol.
RIK
Don't blame Kol. Are you fucking kidding me?
ALYSSA
I am going to blame Kol for the initial incident!
MIKE
I can't – Ok. (Laughs)
ALYSSA
Everything else after was Yitri's fault, but the initial incident was his!
[Laughter]
MIKE
Hmm, that was a good plan.
ALYSSA
So, she's gonna be like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Well, uh, so basically we were tasked with coming here to find a contact who knew something about someone who was missing. Jonny...
ALYSSA
She snaps. She's like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Snapping her fingers) Jonny... What's his last name? De some – Jonny...
ROVER [as GRETA]
De Rolo.
RIK [as PIERRE]
De Rolo.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
De Rolo! That's the name! Jonny de Rolo! Someone here knew something about him, so we came here by train, the train took a little too long, I wonder what... I don't know what happened, but it was delayed. We ran into some things, but they were handled. Very swiftly, might I add. And then we got to the University and it was pretty late and then we were chased by some weird bone spider thing, so then we went inside. Cause we were just gonna be like, "Ok, we made it, let's get in." But bone spider.
[Chuckles]
And then from there everything kinda just went to shit. And…
RIK [as PIERRE]
Bone spider.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Bone spider.
[Laughter]
ROVER
She looks at you and she kind of nods along in a way of like... She's trying to think if she believes this or not.
[Laughter]
RIK
Would you if you were her?
ROVER
But she's allowing for it to continue.
ALYSSA
Cause here's the thing; she is not fully lying. The only thing she's lying about is how they got into the building.
MIKE
I mean, she didn't even lie about that. She just omitted it.
ALYSSA
Yeah.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
And then a bunch of... And then we saw the security guard. There's bone... bone spiders, ah! And then the security guard came in and was like, "Oh my god, what's going on here?" and then we went with the security guard and the security guard just started, like... Kinda like, zoned out, crazy. And then this person started... and then we saw this big dude with this giant sword. And then there's someone shooting at us, and then... Yeah, and then... Honestly, it's kind of a blur, because I was just pure adrenaline trying not to get shot at. Failed a little bit, but I got better. And.. (chuckles) And uh... Anyone else wanna help me out? Cause after I went into the other building, I didn't really see what happened.
MIKE [as KOL]
I think what my colleague is trying to say is that, uhm, the University, it turns out, was under attack. And we don't know who by. But they knew what they were doing. And it nearly killed half our damn party. So that's why we were there.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah.
MIKE [as KOL]
We were trying to get people out.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
That's the short answer.
MIKE [as KOL]
Right, Pierre?
MIKE
Pierre stares blankly across the room as his colleague gestures over to him.
RIK [as PIERRE]
(Sighs) That is indeed what happened. And Aleks... bone spider. (Stammers) Aleks, what happened when you got hurt?
MIKE [as KOL]
He's shaken up pretty bad, I'll be honest with you.
ROVER [as GRETA]
I can see that.
MIKE [as KOL]
He's, uh, seen a lot of stuff in the University, so, uh... Yeah. Sorry, Pierre.
[Ambient outdoor noises continue]
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yeah. Yeah, alright.
RIK
And he just goes to stare at his tea again.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I guess something happened there. I was too busy trying to check a guy's pulse and I found out he was dead. Oh yeah, one of the security guards unfortunately is dead.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Oh.
[Laughter]
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
That was not our fault, though. I... There was someone shooting... I... (chuckles) Unfortunately.
[Laughter]
RIK [as PIERRE]
You did your best, Yitri. You did your best.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Well...
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, I–I think... I appreciate that.
RIK [as PIERRE]
I'm proud of you.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
It was an unfortunate – Oh, thank you? Thank you. It's really unfortunate that one of them couldn't make it.
[Laughter]
ROVER [as GRETA]
Well, looks like I'm gonna retire early.
MIKE
(Laughing) With all the grace of a fucking brick.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Looks like I'm gonna retire early. Ok. And once again, you guys were there for Mr. de Rolo? Is that what I heard correctly?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah. Short answer.
MIKE [as KOL]
That's right. Mmhmm.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Jonny is missing. Why are you guys here?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Well –
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Technically, we were there for Mrs. Williams.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
That... Yeah, we're looking for someone who might know where Jonny is. Cause we know Jonny's missing, we're looking for Jonny.
ROVER
She does the same thing as that I'm doing; she rubs her hands over her face and... she... She sighs and stands up again from kneeling down. And says,
ROVER [as GRETA]
If it's necessary, I can see if I can get Ms. Williams here. I'm unsure if people are even allowed to go to the University currently. But I can see if I can make a call.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
That would be great.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Mmhmm.
MIKE [as KOL]
Now, that would actually be very useful. Thank you.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Mmhmm. Thank you so much. You've been so kind to us.
ROVER [as GRETA]
This... I won't ask too many questions, because I feel like you guys have been through something with bone spiders.
[Laughter]
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Wait, are the bone spiders not a regular thing in the University?
[Laughter]
ROVER [as GRETA]
I mean… not.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I've never been here before, I don't...
MIKE
(Laughing) I fucking love Yitri.
ROVER [as GRETA]
That – Listen, listen, listen.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I don't know.
ROVER
She puts both her hands on your shoulders and is like,
ROVER [as GRETA]
Listen.
ALYSSA [as YTIRI]
Uhuh.
ROVER [as GRETA]
How am I supposed to know? I'm a librarian.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I mean, you're in the University.
[Rik laughs]
ROVER
And she...
ROVER [as GRETA]
I don't go into... I don't even wanna deal with magic. I'm already having to read too much about it.
ROVER
And she goes to grab another cup of tea.
MIKE
That was the most un-self burn I've ever heard.
[Laughter]
(Laughing) "How am I supposed to know? I'm a librarian."
[Laughter]
RIK
And a damn good one at that!
MIKE
It's like Indiana Jones being like, "How am I supposed to know? I'm a fucking archaeologist."
[Laughter]
ZOE
I also love that she doesn't just assume that it's not normal. She's like, "Honestly, in that school? I don't fucking know, maybe. Maybe."
ROVER
Yeah, exactly! She's fantastic!
MIKE
Yeah! There was so much in there! (Laughs)
ALYSSA
Like, "It fully could be, I just don't know." It's not even an "absolutely not."
ZOE
Maybe 2AM bone spiders are normal.
ALYSSA
You never know what happens at the academy at 2.
MIKE
(Sighs) Sorry.
ROVER
Oh. From what I know about this woman, she is just a librarian and she knows some stuff. How about bone spiders? Nah!
MIKE
Oh my god. (Laughs)
RIK
I mean, with the axe, I feel like she's seen some stuff, dude.
MIKE
Yeah, legit, holy fuck.
ROVER
She finishes her tea and... before she walks to the door, she leans down closer to Pierre, and says,
ROVER [as GRETA]
If I come back and I found out you've done something worse than what he's trying to say, your head will be rolling down a hill. Understood?
ROVER
And she doesn't even wait for an answer and she leaves her house.
RIK
He doesn't even give an answer, he just nods.
ALYSSA
Does everyone see this happen?
ROVER
Give me a Perception check, everyone, except for Pierre.
ALYSSA
Ok.
[Dice clacks]
MIKE
Ok.
ZOE
No.
ROVER
Gonna see how stealthy she was.
[Dice thumps]
Not really.
ALYSSA
I got a 6!
ROVER
Oh, she did, too!
ZOE
10.
MIKE
Oh, bruh. Oh, bruh. I got an 18 plus 6. (Laughing) So that's 24.
RIK
Oh. Oh!
ALYSSA
(Laughing) No!
ZOE
Nice!
ROVER
Kol...
ALYSSA
Sees everything.
ROVER
Kol hears the full sentence. I'd say... What did you roll, Aleks?
ZOE
Uh, 10.
ROVER
I'd say you hear most of it. Yitri… Something with a head rolling down a hill.
ALYSSA
Ok.
RIK
Argh! Argh! (Coughs)
ROVER
Something along those lines. However, you've talked to this woman now and she's a fellow Barbarian. She, uhm... You can already interpret where this sentence was going.
ALYSSA
Yeah, like, definitely threatened them.
ROVER
Yeah. So, yeah, you guys are now alone in her house. Feel free to do anything, otherwise I will just skip forward to her coming back.
ZOE
Oh, no. Oh, no, I think we do need the time.
ROVER
Ok.
MIKE
(Mumbling) I don't know, yeah, I mean, fucking...
ZOE
Just, how do we start?
MIKE
I mean, well, actually, d'you know what? If I may. If I may, Mr. DM.
[Laughter]
If I may, Mr. Speaker, I would like to speak for the court, if I may.
ROVER
Mmhmm.
MIKE
May I approach the bench?
RIK
Bailiff, tackle him!
ROVER
You may approach the bench.
RIK
Bailiff, tackle!
[Laughter]
MIKE
Thank you so much. I would like to have a conversation with one Aleks, if that's alright.
[Zoe chuckles]
ROVER
You are sat next to him, but sure!
[Laughter]
MIKE
Thank you, Mr. DM. Thank you, Mr. Speaker.
ALYSSA
(Laughing) You don't even have to try, he is right next to you.
ZOE
(Laughing) Yeah, we're on the couch together.
MIKE
I appreciate your time.
MIKE [as KOL]
Aleks, are you okay?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
No.
MIKE [as KOL]
What is going on? That... in the room upstairs. This person seems incredibly antagonistic. How... How do you know this person?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
She's the librarian of the school I went to.
MIKE [as KOL]
I think she's more than a librarian, Aleks. Come on.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
What do you ex–
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
People can be two things. They can be librarians and something else.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
That was inspiring.
[Alyssa laughs]
MIKE
Did you just "two things can be two things" me? I think you did, I think you just Brooklyn99'd me and I'm here for it.
[Laughter]
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
People can be two things.
ALYSSA
(Laughs) And then she just sips her tea, that's all she says.
MIKE [as KOL]
Listen, Aleks, I know we haven't known each other for a long time, but you've helped me more than... a lot of people in this industry. And, uh... Look, if you're not okay, that's okay. But we're here as a team. And if you wanna talk, we can talk. But this antagonizing, it's got to stop. Pierre has been through far too much. Can you please ask her to back off?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Kol. You can do that yourself.
MIKE [as KOL]
She seems to listen to you.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
And that's great.
MIKE [as KOL]
And she's shown nothing but contempt towards me.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I will not ask her to be nicer to Pierre. Because I have no reason to.
MIKE [as KOL]
Apart from the fact that he's your colleague and teammate?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Well, then, maybe he should start acting like it.
MIKE [as KOL]
Aleks, drop the bullshit.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Koltrast.
MIKE [as KOL]
I can see that you're hurting, ok? It doesn't have to be like this. I get it, it's hard, real hard sometimes.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
You don't get anything.
MIKE [as KOL]
Then fucking tell me!
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Why should I?
MIKE [as KOL]
Because you're behaving like an absolute dick! Is this how you behave with teammates who trust you? We've looked after you, Aleks! And I'm not buying this story that you're selling! I get that you're hurting! But we are a team! We're here for each other, whether we want to be or not. That's why I'm asking you. Please. Please. We can talk this through, or you can stay silent. But whatever is going on right now has to change. Please.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Kol, do you even understand why I'm angry at Pierre? That is not something I can just drop.
MIKE [as KOL]
No.That's the whole point. No! I don't get why all of a sudden you're angry at Pierre.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Sudden?!
MIKE [as KOL]
I don't understand why you're behaving this way. And I'm asking for some clarity. I don't... I don't normally do this. But you have been kind to me. And I've started to trust you a lot more than other people. Please. If this is gonna continue, we have to stick together. Ok? I'm not asking you to open up to me. I'm just asking you... (Sighs) I'm just trying to keep this together, ok?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I... I don't know if I can do that.
MIKE [as KOL]
Fine.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I... It's really not, though, is it? I have joined this team for my own safety. And in less than 24 hours I have been put in more danger than I have been in for the past months. And that is Pierre's fault.
RIK [as PIERRE]
And he's right.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Don't agree with me, you don't even know what you did.
MIKE [as KOL]
(Sighs) Look.
MIKE
Kol unholsters his shotgun, breaks it open and pulls out one of the cartridges and hands... puts it in Aleks' hands and closes his fist around it.
MIKE [as KOL]
This is my promise to you. We're here to look after you. We're not your enemies. Whatever has happened between you two, bury it. Today. We are here for each other for as long as this lasts. And then afterwards, we can go our separate ways and we'll never speak to each other again if you don't want to. But this is my promise to you.
MIKE
He lets go of his hand, takes another slug from his... out of his little ammo pouch, pops it into the shotgun, closes it and holsters it.
ZOE
Aleks looks at the shell in his hand, and then back up at Kol.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Has no one ever told you that you shouldn't make promises if you don't know if you can keep them.
RIK
Ah! Ah!
ROVER
Perfect! Anyway! Kill me alright, sure.
[Laughter]
Alright.
RIK
That was a fucking killer line, dude!
ALYSSA
Yeah, that was awesome!
ROVER
That was a good line!
MIKE
That was... that was fucking badass. That's why I was like, "Yeah, no, cut it there." That's so fucking good!
ROVER
Fuck me! Jesus!
MIKE
That's why I was like, "Yeah, no, cut it there." That's so fucking good!
ROVER
Yeah, there! There.
[Zoe laughs]
Alright. Yeah, at that point I'd say Greta comes back. And she walks back into the living room. And just says,
ROVER [as GRETA]
Called Ms. Williams. She can... she can be here in an hour. Is that okay for you all?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah! That's great, thank you.
ROVER [as GRETA]
Wonderful. Uhm... Well, does anyone want any food?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Uh, I-I can eat.
ALYSSA
She kinda looks at everyone else who was just having a heated argument. She was sitting on the side saying nothing, and she's kinda just like, "Hey, guys, want food?" And she's basically looking in, like… awkwardly just being like...
ROVER
I'm gonna see if Greta can read the room.
[Dice thunks]
No, she can't.
[Laughter]
MIKE
(Laughing) Of course she can't! Of course she can't! Oh, Greta!
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Maybe, that'd be nice? (Chuckles nervously)
ROVER [as GRETA]
Wonderful. So, uhm, either Kol or... I got everyone's name except for you.
ROVER
And she looks at Yitri.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh, Yitri!
ROVER [as GRETA]
Hi, nice to meet you. So...
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Nice to meet you.
ALYSSA
And she grabs her hands and shakes it.
ROVER
She shakes it, and she's like,
ROVER [as GRETA]
Can you help me make some food? That would be lovely.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh, yeah! Absolutely!
ROVER [as GRETA]
Oh, amazing!
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
would love to, actually!
ALYSSA
(Laughing) And she immediately goes, cause he doesn't want to be here.
[Laughter]
MIKE
Kol, actually, will follow in after, as well. To help make the food. But quietly.
ALYSSA
Don't leave the two people that are beefing alone! They're gonna kill each other!
MIKE
Sometimes these problems have a way of working themselves out. (Laughs)
RIK
Oh my god, yeah.
ALYSSA
You're locking them together like horses. To get along.
MIKE
They're not locked anywhere! We've gone into the fucking kitchen! What do you do when you cook?
ROVER
So...
[Rik laughs]
ALYSSA
No, no, no, I'm just saying, like... metaphorically.
ROVER
If Aleks and Pierre still wanna do anything, this is the time, otherwise I'm gonna skip to an hour later.
RIK
Zoe?
ZOE
Mmhmm?
RIK
You wanna beef?
ZOE
I would love to beef. I have at least...
[Laughter]
MIKE
Aw, you two! Aw!
ALYSSA
(Laughs) Hell yes!
RIK
Aw!
ZOE
The thing is, I have one thing to say.
RIK
Hmm.
ZOE
Kinda just one. If the conversation continues after that is an entire different question.
RIK
Ok, ok, ok. After a few seconds when they go to the kitchen, Pierre looks up from his still not dranken glass of tea.
RIK [as PIERRE]
I-I'm sorry, I-I know it's my fault. I... I-I didn't mean to put you in danger.
RIK
He closes his eyes as he says that, ready for what's to come.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Pierre. I do not believe that you know what you did.
RIK [as PIERRE]
I... I-I... Cause of what I did, I... Koltrast and now Yitri went and put themselves on the line and... Now you're hurt, too.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Pierre, that was not your fault. Actually, if you look back for... If you look back at the last few hours, surprisingly, that wasn't your fault. Because you did fuck up a lot of things. But, you know, that one was on me. Because it was my decision to go out. You did not have to follow me.
RIK [as PIERRE]
"You didn't have to?" If I... If I hadn't...
ZOE [as ALEKS]
If you hadn't what?
RIK [as PIERRE]
If I hadn’t said that we should go after them.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
You're right. That was your fault. But that is also Kol's fault. And I'm angry at him for that as well, because that was reckless and it put all of us in danger. But that is not why I'm angry at you.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Why are you, then, angry at me?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
When... When we were at the café, I thought I could trust you.
RIK [as PIERRE]
W-what do you mean?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I thought... that when... then when I told you that we need to leave, and you looked at me, that you agreed.
RIK [as PIERRE]
I did. And I wanted to. Y-you told me that and I wanted to protect you. I-I believed you.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
(On the verge of crying) I know you did. And I cannot tell you how much it hurt when you just put me in more danger while claiming to protect me. You cannot protect everyone, Pierre. You cannot go around the world and just talk it out with everyone. You had to choose. You had to choose between protecting me and protecting the person that was trying to hurt me.
RIK [as PIERRE]
I-I didn't protect them. I did not. I did not want anyone to get hurt!
ZOE [as ALEKS]
And that was the problem, wasn't it? Sometimes people have to get hurt, and sometimes you have to choose who that will be.
RIK [as PIERRE]
If I had to choose, I would choose you.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
But you didn't.
RIK [as PIERRE]
You to be safe.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
You didn't. No, you talked it out. And then you let them go. What do you think happened after that? Do you think that they just went home and went to bed?
RIK [as PIERRE]
No, I... I don't think so.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
No, I don't think so, either. We needed to kill them. That was the only way to protect me in that scenario and it is your fault that that didn't happen. And now it is your fault that he knows where I am.
RIK [as PIERRE]
I-I see now. I'm–I'm sorry. I understand and I don't expect you to forgive me. I failed at my job. I'm sorry.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Stop. Don't apologize to me. The second that you chose to stop the others from attacking, I have lost even the tiniest amount of trust in you that might have been there by that point. And no amount of apologies will get that back. You will need to show me that you are on my side. Because I don't believe you.
RIK [as PIERRE]
I know you won't accept this promise, but I do promise you I will show you. I will be there by your side.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Your promise...
RIK [as PIERRE]
Means nothing to you. I know.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
It's worth even less than the promise Kol gave me.
RIK [as PIERRE]
I know.
ZOE [as ALEKS[
But I really... I really hope that you will prove me wrong.
ZOE
And he stands up and joins the others in the kitchen.
RIK
Phew! Phew! Oh my god!
ALYSSA
(Clapping) Holy fucking shit, guys!
[Mike laughs]
RIK
Well played, dog! Well fucking played!
ALYSSA
How are we supposed to do anything after that?
[Laughter]
ROVER
Uhm, so... campaign's over?
[Laughter]
ALYSSA
That was... that was... that –
MIKE
I went to pee, I came back to the most intense standoff. (Laughs)
ALYSSA
Dude, you missed so... Oh my god!
ROVER
This is episode 9?! (Laughs)
ALYSSA
God!
ROVER
Fuck!
ALYSSA
Oh my god!
MIKE
Bloody nora!
ALYSSA
Holy shit, guys!
ROVER
I need a... Hold on, I need, like, a couple seconds, because Jesus!
[Laughter]
ALYSSA
(Clapping) All I can do is clap. Holy fucking shit, that was amazing!
RIK
Oh my god, Zoe! Oh my god! You promised and you over-fucking-delivered, alright!
[Laughter]
ROVER
Hey. Hey, Zoe?
ZOE
Yeah?
ROVER
Remember when we said with your audition, we were like, "Oh, yeah, you know." The part that you did where you acted like you were really fucking sad was really fucking good? Yeah, no, do that again! Like, Jesus, yeah, sure! Fucking attack everyone, sure!
[Laughter]
Oh my god! Ok.
ALYSSA
Yeah! Tear at the heartstrings in the fucking prologue, why don't you? Jesus fucking Christ.
ROVER
Oh, ok.
[Laughter]
ALYSSA
That was so... And I'm just imagining that while this standoff is happening, Kol and Yitri are like "The Bear", just like, "Get that thing in the kitchen!" Like, "No!" (Laughs)
MIKE
Yeah, literally, yeah!
[Cooking noises]
We're just in the kitchen like, "Are they –? Wait, wait, are they... are they allergic to eggs? Argh, we can't go in there and ask them right now. We'll just have to wait."
[Laughter]
ROVER
I can see Greta and Kol... Or Greta keeps being like, "Ok, you need to grab that from there." And Kol being like, "Where the fuck is there?" And is like, (grumbles)
MIKE [as KOL]
Where the fuck is that?
ROVER [as GRETA]
It's over...
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
It's literally... Kol?
MIKE [as KOL]
Point. Point! Don't just say "there".
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
She's literally pointing to it.
MIKE [as KOL]
Don't just say "there". Point.
ROVER [as GRETA]
I just.. I... I'm pointing.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Kol? Kol.
MIKE [as KOL]
Yes, look.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Do you have peripheral vision at all? Cause she's literally pointing at it.
MIKE [as KOL]
Listen, my peripheral vision is long-range, ok? My front vision is short-range. I'm just... I'm just struggling, alright?
[Alyssa laughs]
ROVER
And as this is happening, as these two conversations are happening, the doorbell rings.
RIK
Oh my god.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Is it her?
RIK
That was quick.
ROVER
Greta drops everything, pushes Yitri and Kol out of her way and is like,
ROVER [as GRETA]
Do not put my kitchen on fire in the next 10 seconds that I am gone.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I promise!
ALYSSA
And she looks at Kol. (Laughs)
MIKE [as KOL]
We'll try. I don't know how ovens works....
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
What do you mean, you don't know how ovens work?
ROVER
Yeah, she opens the door, and
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Have you ever cooked before, Kol?
[Cooking noises stop]
MIKE [as KOL]
Listen, we can talk about th– Just shut up, ok? Just shut up. Just show me where the fucking pan is.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
It's literally right there!
RIK
I love them. I love these people.
ALYSSA
And she just, kind of... she's gonna, kind of, like... get up on the counter a little bit, because it's probably on a higher counter, like, stand up on it, grab it and just...
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Here! It's right here!
MIKE [as KOL]
Oh my god. If it was that easy...
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
It is! It was that easy!
ROVER
Into the living room, together with Greta, walks this tall woman. She has very long, wavy, fiery red hair. Human. You'd say maybe late 20's, early 30's. Give me a Perception check everyone. For flavor.
[Dice ASMR]
ZOE
Natural 20, baby! Once again on the things that don't really matter!
MIKE
Uh... Oh my lord, I am well behind.
RIK
Oh, that's a dirty 20!
MIKE
19.
ALYSSA
I got a 5!
ROVER
Natural 20, dirty 20.
ALYSSA
I got a 5.
[Mike chuckles]
ROVER
For the natural 20, since this is just a flavor thing; for your next roll you have advantage.
ZOE
Let's go!
ROVER
Cause it really doesn't matter as much.
RIK
I had a dirty 20, though.
ROVER
Yeah, a dirty 20. Everyone that isn't Yitri…
[Chuckles]
... can see that, on her fingers and slightly on to the palms of her hand, there are burn marks etched over it. And she... She's wearing this long, brown coat. And she stands in the middle of the room and looks at you guys and is like,
ROVER [as EVA]
Ok, so... Hello, everyone. You guys must have had a great night yesterday.
ALYSSA [as YITRI
That's a way to put it.
ROVER
And she walks over to the kitchen and afterwards the living room, introduces herself to everyone, saying,
ROVER [as EVA]
Hi, Eva Williams. Nice to meet you.
MIKE
Does anyone recognize this person at all?
ROVER
Aleks will recognize her.
MIKE
Ok.
ROVER
She is the Evocation teacher. Your Evocation teacher. And...
[Dice thunks]
I knew it. The moment she shakes your hand, Aleks, it's a thing of, like...
ROVER [as EVA]
Aleks. Been a while.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Ms. Williams. It's good to see you again.
ROVER [as EVA]
I feel like we have a lot to talk about.
ALYSSA
Yitri's gonna whisper to Kol, like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Whispering) How does he fucking know everyone?
MIKE [as KOL]
(Quietly) Honestly, I'm starting to wonder myself.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Whispering) I mean, I know he went here, but Jesus Christ –
ALYSSA
(Laughing) Jesus isn't real. Go, go back.
[Laughter]
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I know that he went here, but damn, that’s crazy.
ROVER
And she sits down at one of the chairs while Greta makes her some tea. And she looks at you guys and is like,
ROVER [as EVA]
To what do I... owe the pleasure. Why is the school closed? No one can go in.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
That's a longer story. Uh...
RIK [as PIERRE]
That is a long story, yeah.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
But the quick thing –
ROVER [as EVA]
I heard you guys are looking for Jonny.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
That's what we're here for, yes. Uhm, that was the initial plan and then, uhm, something attacked last night.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Yitri?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
We're here to talk about Jonny.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I know we are, that's what I'm saying. Like, we're here for the Jonny thing.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Yeah, then stay at the Jonny thing.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ok, ok, yeah, got it. Yeah... Jonny.
ROVER [as EVA]
Jonny, yes.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Last thing we know, Jonny went to you, here in Manchester. And, uh, we were sent here by the Crown to check here with you, if you happen to know anything.
ROVER
Greta, in the meantime, puts down food for everyone. You're looking at, like, different types of sandwiches for everyone. I will say she also made soup for the people that want to.
ZOE
Breakfast soup.
MIKE
We made soup. (Laughs)
ROVER
You guys made soup.
RIK
You guys made soup!
ROVER
Roll me a D10 to see how good it is!
MIKE
Do you wanna roll it or shall I?
ROVER
You guys can roll together with advantage, cause you guys work together.
MIKE
Oh my goodness, yeah, ok, alright. You ready? Ok, here we go. Ready? Go!
ALYSSA
Ready? Go!
[Dice clacks]
What'd you roll?
MIKE
I got an 8.
ALYSSA
I got a 5.
[Mike laughs]
ROVER
Ok, so it's an 8.
RIK
Oh.
ROVER
Ah, that's quite a good soup.
ALYSSA
Pretty good soup!
MIKE
That's a pretty good soup!
ALYSSA
Pretty good soup!
ROVER
That's pretty good soup!
MIKE
D'you know what? Adam Driver would be proud.
ALYSSA
Yup!
ZOE
It's good soup.
ROVER
And she also takes a cup of soup and she's like... She looks around, sees Kol an Yitri standing in the kitchen, and just kind of leans forward and is like,
ROVER [as EVA]
I would love it if you guys can teach my husband to make soup, because this is the most delicious thing I've had in... Well, the years that I've been married to him.
[Alyssa chuckles]
MIKE
Kol's got, like, a tea towel slung over one of his shoulders –
RIK
Oh, yes!
MIKE
– and is wiping up a pan, and is like,
MIKE [as KOL]
Honestly, it's no problem.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, we'd love to... Yeah, we can totally teach. Yeah.
[Rik chuckles]
ALYSSA
Just flashback to earlier in the kitchen, Yitri being like, "Kol! You... What the fuck!"
[Laughter]
MIKE
Yeah, no, now Kol's just like, "It's chill. I can cook now." (Laughs)
[Laughter]
ROVER [as EVA]
So, I've heard. From what I can see, you guys are... Protectors of the Crown.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Mmhmm.
MIKE [as KOL]
I see word travels fast.
ROVER [as EVA]
Oh, word travels fast. So fast. You have no idea the amount of reporters I've already talked to.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh god.
ROVER [as EVA]
The school's a mess. The reporter's already there, it's gonna be in the news by... I'd say an hour.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Geez.
ROVER [as EVA]
I don't know what happened...
MIKE [as KOL]
Then we need to leave.
ROVER [as EVA]
You guys might have to leave.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh yeah, definitely.
MIKE [as KOL]
What do you know about Jonny?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, that's kinda the whole reason we came here for.
ROVER [as EVA]
He... I taught him how to make his guns a bit better. Like, that they... He wanted to make some form bombs, don't ask me why. He's... He's Jonny.
MIKE [as KOL]
Bombs?
ROVER [as EVA]
Of course.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
He wanted to put magic in his weapons?
ROVER [as EVA]
Yes, of course. It's Jonny.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Wait, I have something.
ALYSSA
Yitri excuses herself, runs upstairs, grabs her little bag with the gun in it, she still has the gun. And comes back and is like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Is this something to do with Jonny's disappearance?
ROVER [as EVA]
Was... I mean...
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Is it Jonny's? Or yours? It's not his, I checked.
ALYSSA
And she points at Kol.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
It's not his, I checked.
ROVER [as EVA]
Interesting. No, I... At least he never takes guns with him to the school. Which I would hope...
ROVER
And she looks at Kol.
ROVER [as EVA]
Which I hope you also didn't do.
MIKE
Kol lowers the tea towel to sort of cover up one of the handles of his shotgun.
[Laughter]
ROVER
I'm gonna see if she catches that.
[Dice thunks]
Roll me a Stealth check.
[Laughter]
MIKE
Uh, well, I don't think she's gonna, cause that is a 19 plus 5.
ALYSSA
Dammit!
ROVER
No, she is not.
MIKE
24!
ZOE
Nice!
ROVER [as EVA]
Yeah, no, I... I didn't speak to Jonny about a lot of things. However... He... He asked me something that could have something to do with this.
ROVER
And she pulls from, I'm gonna say her totebag, because totebags are cool.
ALYSSA
Yes!
MIKE
Ah yes, of course.
ROVER
From her totebag, and she slides onto the table a book about tarot cards. And that is where we're gonna end the episode.
MIKE
Ooh!
ALYSSA
Oh shit.
MIKE
(Singing opera) Ooh! Tarot!
ROVER
(Also singing) Tarot!
RIK
Now shit's getting real!
ALYSSA
Shit's been real.
ROVER
(Normal voice) You guys are finally gonna get lore!
MIKE
Yeah, I was gonna say, shit's getting... (laughing) shit's been pretty real!
RIK
I mean, it was already real, but like…
ALYSSA
Consistently real.
MIKE
There's a lot of real!
RIK
Tarot!
MIKE
Yeah, man, it's like...
ALYSSA
Fucking Roleplayer of the Year, here. Fucking Zoe going crazy!
[Laughter]
MIKE
Yeah, it's been wall-to-wall reality, dude. Yeah.
ALYSSA
That was so good!
MIKE
Yeah.
ROVER
Thank you all… Thank you all so much for listening. I will see you guys on Sunday. And what happens with the Protectors and what is up with this tarot book, we'll find out in the next episode of Remains To Be Seen. Buh-bye, everyone.
ALYSSA
Bye!
MIKE
Bye!
ZOE
Buh-bye!
ROVER
Bye!
MIKE
Bye!
RIK
Bye!
[Show outro plays]
Remains To Be Seen is an original podcast created by Dyaflame Studios and licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share-alike 4.0 International License.
Today’s episode was produced by Jo Mendacium and edited by Mees Verkade and Jo Mendacium. It starred:
Rik den Breejen as Pierre Ardoise
Mike LeBeau as Koltrast
Alyssa Roldan as Yitri Meadowtwirls
Zoe Emily as Aleksander Aintsworth
And Rover Elliott as the Dungeon Master
The intro and outro were composed by We Talk of Dreams, and the transcript was written by Kim van Teeffelen.
To get in touch with us and keep up to date with our antics, follow us on Instagram, BlueSky and TikTok @ DyaflameStudios or view our website at www.dyaflame.com
Check our show notes for additional credits, links and transcripts.