008 - Bounty Hunters - Leave One Alive

Content Warnings
- Being restrained
- Combat-related injury and death
- Giant spider/creepy spider noises
- Stabbing/Sound of stabbing
- Electrocution by lightning/lightning strike
- Description of someone being gutted
- Explicit gore sounds

[Show intro plays]

ROVER

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Remains To Be Seen, the DnD show where one group's past could determine the other group's future. I am your host and DM, Rover Elliott, he/they pronouns, and today I am here with,

ANNIE

Annie Ruby, she/her.

ELIZABETH

Elizabeth Simpson, she/her.

Jo Mendacium, any pronouns.

MIRA

And Mira G, she/her.

ROVER

And who are you guys playing?

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

I'm playing Josie, definitely not traumatized. All business, no emotions.

ELIZABETH [as CORWIN]

Corwin Duvall, trying...trying really hard not to focus on the husk in the center of the room.

JO [as VIKTOR]

Viktor Valthayne, currently debating whether we should burn that entire place down.

MIRA [as UNA]

And Una, who, if Viktor was to say that out loud, she would probably agree with him.

ROVER

Amazing. So, Mira, do you want to give us a little bit of a recap of what happened in the previous episodes?

MIRA

I shall. I will give a recap of the most recent episode. By all means. (Laughs)

It has been 20 minutes for us.

[Laughter]

MIRA

Yes, yes. A lot of trauma. Okay so, in a...previously on Remains To Be Seen, our group has still been split up a little bit at the start of the session, with Una seeing a Tabaxi, unnamed Tabaxi, through the shop's window. Marcus, who everyone else has met upstairs, asked for help of collecting some belongings and transporting them downstairs to put them in his cart, because he was planning to leave. Once everyone has been kind of downstairs once again, Una explained to, firstly to Josie, then to Vik and Corwin, that she's seen said Tabaxi, and also found a pressure plate that could be potentially leading to a further mystery.

And in fact, that's what happened. I do have a note that Viktor stole a picture of Safra, Brian, Nyx and Jonny, in here, in bold.

[Laughter]

I don't know why. Una marveled at the photograph for a while, and afterwards, we opened the basement secret room via said pressure plate, in which there was two rooms: first of them being the storage, and another one being a library/study kind of area. Una stayed behind, kind of keeping an eye on things, where everyone else stepped in there, finding a husk of Jonny.

Upon further investigation from everyone, Viktor doing shadow magic trying to detect what could have done this, it was established there was no traces of any magic in that room, and the husk has been caved in, instead of something bursting out of it. And the likeness of Jonny seemed to be looking at something in his hands, before this happened, in some kind of, like, curiosity, marveling at something, that he was no longer holding.

And then we investigated a couple of things around the room, including scattered papers on the floor and the desk. And then, we had Viktor and Josie trying to talk this through, cause they knew Jonny for quite some time, and obviously it must have been very upsetting for them to find him like this.

ROVER

So, we are starting back up, and if you've indeed heard that we ended last episode with breaking glass, we are starting a couple of minutes before that, so that Josie and Viktor can have their conversation. While Una and Corwin are looking through the stuff at the table and the stuff that was on the floor, we pan over to Viktor and Josie.

[Steady ticking begins in the background]

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

Alright, what are the odds that he was turned to stone versus this is just a byproduct of something else?

JO [as VIKTOR]

I don't...(sighs) I've never encountered a basilisk or a medusa or something like that.

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

No. Me either.

JO [as VIKTOR]

I only read about them, but...doesn't really look like stone, does it?

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

No and, you know, whatever happened to the face, it was caved inward, not outward. I don't see any blood. I don't see any evidence that there was anything on the inside when that happened that is no longer there. So, I...(sighs)

JO [as VIKTOR]

Right.

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

We have to tell Nyx at some point, but I don't want to fucking just...(sighs). This is a lot. This is a lot. And, um...but it’s…

He's shuffling a little closer to you.

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

It’s, it’s, it’s…what it isn't is definitive. That's the weirdest thing. What this doesn't actually do is answer anything. Nothing that is happening in this room, nothing that has happened in this room, does anything more but...

JO [as VIKTOR]

That's the part that worries me the most, to be honest.

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

Me too. Me too.

JO [as VIKTOR]

Because that also...I mean, I'm not a wizard or sorcerer, but that is magic I'd recognize. Like, it didn't ping as any magic.

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

And after what Corwin said on the train, with the things on the roof, we are way out of our league, Viktor. We are way out of our league here. But we can't...

JO [as VIKTOR]

But we are in it. So...

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

But we're in it, and we can't go anywhere from here other than onward. Jonny and Nyx need us to. I give a shit about Safra being desperate, but that's also a factor here.

JO [as VIKTOR]

Well, I mean...

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

There's clearly...I think we're being thrown into something where people know more than they're telling us, and we need to be prepared for it to get a lot worse than we thought.

JO [as VIKTOR]

I didn't think I would say that anytime soon, but I really fucking hate to be right.

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

Yeah.

JO [as VIKTOR]

Are you okay?

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

Um...we'll figure that out later. I think so—

JO [as VIKTOR]

Alright.

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

—because again, this is not, this is not definitive. It's painful. It was not, it was not a fun couple seconds there, but I think that whatever happened here, we know exactly the same amount about Jonny's current status as we did before.

JO [as VIKTOR]

Well, if that even is Jonny.

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

Well, exactly. Quite. It just looks like him. That doesn't tell us anything.

I rest my hand on your, on your arm.

ANNIE

Mmhmm.

And, be like,

JO [as VIKTOR]

I guess the first couple rounds is on me. (Laughs)

[Annie laughs]

ROVER

And at that point—

[Breaking glass]

—crash upstairs as, for glass breaking, and you can hear a voice going,

ROVER [as INTRUDER]

Alright, get in. Get everything. And then we leave.

[Rhythmic, echoing music begins]

ANNIE

And it was just, it was just, sorry, Josie and Una are the only ones who heard the voices, right?

ROVER

Yes. We rolled last week, for the people listening—we rolled last week for who's hearing that, and it is: Josie and Una can both hear the crash. Una can also immediately hear the voices.

ANNIE

Oh, Josie can't even hear the voices?

ROVER

You can hear the voices, you can't tell what they're saying. Una can.

ANNIE

Tell what it says, okay.

Yeah yeah.

MIRA

Okay.

ANNIE

I'm gonna...so then, just right before you jump in here, I'm gonna turn to Vik and go,

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

Make it dark. We got company.

MIRA

So is the light at the table, or...? Yeah, anyways.

ANNIE

Yeah yeah, just a lamp or whatever.

ROVER

Yeah, Corwin...Corwin and Una are there.

Yeah. One of you has to snuff the fucking light.

MIRA

Oh, then yeah, just without saying anything, like, Una would look at Corwin, and just be like,

MIRA [as UNA]

Heads up.

MIRA

And then just open the lantern, blow out the candle, the light. Be like,

MIRA [as UNA]

I think there's someone upstairs.

MIRA

And then, with my Darkvision still active, cause I'm a human and I don't get it naturally, but thank you to Josie.

ANNIE

Yeah! I love how long that spell lasts.

MIRA

Like 8 hours?

ANNIE

8 hours.

ROVER

Yeah, Josie cast 8 hours of darkvision on Una.

ELIZABETH

Thank goodness.

ANNIE

About 6 hours ago, yeah.

ROVER

So, it's still going. Yeah. About 4 or 5 hours ago.

MIRA

Delicious.

ANNIE

Oh, 4 or 5, yeah. Okay, great. (Laughs)

ROVER

Yeah.

MIRA

About enough to finish them off. (Laughs)

ANNIE

Yeah!

[Laughter]

MIRA

And then, yeah, would turn to Josie and Viktor just to see if they noticed that as well. But if so, then, probably start making her way towards the door, to be against the wall.

ANNIE

Yeah yeah. Josie's gonna nod at you, and also be making her way toward the stairs, but not be heading up. We're gonna be staying at the bottom of the stairs, quarterstaff up, until we can kind of, at least, whether nonverbally or through whisper or whatever, communicate a plan.

Ah. Oh, sexy, I love that. If you position yourself there, Viktor is, like, 10 feet behind you because I've got ranged spells. (Laughs)

ELIZABETH

Corwin is gonna go and probably position herself right next to Josie, same kind of thing with the halberd.

MIRA

So, how I imagine it is that: there were the stairs leading down to the storage room, and then from the storage room was the other room.

ANNIE

Yes.

ROVER

Mmhmm.

MIRA

Okay, so we're going to the doors that are straight after the staircase, or are we going to the doors within the library, let's call it?

ANNIE

Yeah no, I'm going...I'm going to the foot of the stairs in the storage room, is where I'm headed.

MIRA

The foot of the stairs. Okay, that's fine. Then, then...let's do that.

ANNIE

So I can...but not up them at all.

I want to see the way out, you know what I mean? Otherwise, we're trapped in there.

ANNIE

Yeah.

MIRA

Yeah yeah.

ANNIE

Great.

ROVER

All good.

ELIZABETH

Corwin's gonna give Josie kind of like a little nod, just—

ANNIE

Josie's gonna return it. (Whispers) Bad ass, let's go.

MIRA

As it is a storage room, can I hide behind anything that's closest to the door?

(Whispering) Yes. Yes.

MIRA

Like a shelf, or a barrel, a box, a bag.

ROVER

I will say yes. Yeah, sure.

MIRA

Okay.

(Laughing) Behind Josie, maybe.

[Laughter]

MIRA

(Laughing) Behind Josie! No.

ROVER

You know, you can hide behind Josie, you can hide behind a box. I'm sure you can also hide—

Same difference.

ROVER

—You can hide wherever you want.

[Giggles from the group]

And, yeah, you can hear upstairs, you can hear people rummaging through the stuff that is in the store.

[Crashing, clanking, and crunching]

You can hear, in total, about...I think you can hear maybe two or three voices upstairs, Una.

MIRA

Okay.

[Furniture creaking, glass smashing]

ROVER

You can hear people being like,

ROVER [as INTRUDER 1]

Any ammo?

ROVER [as INTRUDER 2]

No, nothing. Nothing to be found.

[Falling metal, rummaging]

ROVER

And they're rummaging through everything on shelves, you can hear that.

MIRA

Um…give me a sec, I need to look at something very quickly. Sorry, with Psychic Whispers, it says I can establish telepathic communication between yourself and others.

ROVER

Yes.

MIRA

It does not say they need to be willing.

ANNIE

Ooooh!

ELIZABETH

Ooh!

ROVER

It—mmmm!

I feel like it would be a saving throw, though, to resist it. No?

ROVER

It doesn't say so, I think. Does it?

MIRA

Oh, no, I need to see them.

ANNIE

I feel like there’s gonna be some—yeah, has to be line of sight. There had to be at least something, yeah.

Give me your eyes! I throw them!

[Laughter]

MIRA

(Laughing) Throws the eyes—sorry, throwing the eyes. Nevermind. Don’t worry.

ANNIE

“Aaahh!!! Real Monsters”-esque.

[Laughter]

Can I very quickly ask Annie, I feel like we kind of half-established that Viktor and Josie would have worked together at some point?

ANNIE

Yeah.

Maybe not super often, but they have worked together.

ANNIE

Yes.

And are we on the same page as in, shoot first, ask questions later? Because Viktor would bend to how Josie works, rather than him talking his fucking way out of shit—

ANNIE

Yeah.

—because we're a team right now.

ANNIE

Josie is...to be clear about what Josie's intent in basically any moment that you've seen like this: while Josie's out on a job, she is, any time that there is someone that could be a threat, she's willing to intimidate first, fight second.

Okay. Okay.

ANNIE

And the fighting is, as much as possible, to incapacitate rather than kill because we are in the business of information and people. So...not afraid to kill if she got to—

Yeah yeah yeah. No, that’s fine.

ANNIE

But if you're looking for a target, the more people involved in that you keep alive, the more people you can ask questions and get information from.

Yeah, I mean there's at least two. We can kill one of them.

ANNIE

Right. You can kill the spare. But you could also, you could do that while they're already tied up to make a point first.

"You can kill the spare" is so brutal. That's true. Okay. No, good.

ANNIE

Josie is not a nice person.

ROVER

Okay.

ELIZABETH

So, if we're hearing voices from upstairs, Corwin will probably look at Josie and whisper, very very quietly,

ELIZABETH [as CORWIN]

(Whispering) Should we move upstairs? Try and surprise them?

ANNIE

Josie is going to shoot a meaningful look over her shoulder at Vik to see if she can get Whisper going, see if Vik can read the idea that we need to get...

Oh, he's nodding.

ANNIE

Is Whisper a cantrip?

You mean Message?

ANNIE

Or Message.

ROVER

Message. Message should be a cantrip.

ANNIE

Okay, I just want to be sure you're not going to burn a spell slot on this, but yes.

No.

ANNIE

But I'm just kind of meaningfully looking at you, like, we need to talk here.

Oh, yeah, I cast Message on Josie.

ANNIE

Okay great. Josie's gonna say,

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

(Through Message) They're talking about ammo. Sounds like it's just looters, but no reason to not go and at least see what they know. I think we need to get up there and take them out before they can leave. Do you know what I mean? We need...I don't think we can talk first.

JO [as VIK]

(Through Message) I kind of want to know what they're looking for.

ROVER

The shelves that were upstairs, that you guys have seen, you can hear them pummeling.

[Clunking and crashing]

Someone has pushed the shelves over, and it's just doonk, doonk, doonk, doonk. Crashing of the stuff.

[Heavy thunks, crashing]

ANNIE

Uh oh. So the pressure plate—is it one of the shelves that had the pressure plate on it would be one of the ones that might be knocked over?

MIRA

(Strained whispering) Probably?

No, uh uh! Why would you ask that! (Laughs)

ANNIE

Because, if so...

MIRA

I mean, we would heard it was closest to us, if it was.

ROVER

Not the shelf, the bookshelf where the pressure plate is on. It's the shelves with all the guns, the ammo—

ANNIE

Yeah.

ROVER

—all the stuff that he was selling on it. And then you can also—

ANNIE

I just wasn't sure if they were in a line together. But okay, well—

ROVER

Yeah, no, the shelves above where his desk is, where his workshop, worktable would also be.

[Rhythmic, echoing music continues softly]

MIRA

Did they turn the light on?

ANNIE

Yeah, did they turn the light on at all?

ROVER

They...did not turn the light on, no.

[Mira sighs]

ANNIE

Great.

Oh, Darkvision. Fuck them.

ELIZABETH

And then just to clarify, Josie, what you—what Josie was saying, that was to Vik via Message? Or that was out loud?

ANNIE

Via message, yeah.

ELIZABETH

Okay.

ANNIE

But as soon as Josie is sensing any kind of assent from Vik on this, like an agreement, she's gonna turn to the two of you who are not on Message right now, and go,

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

Get upstairs quickly, quietly. The goal is to prevent them from escaping and incapacitate them to find out what they know. Don't kill them unless you have to, but do not let them get out. Move quietly to cover the exits as soon as you can, and let's get it done.

ELIZABETH

Yeah, Corwin nods and starts going up the stairs.

ANNIE

Going up the stairs next to you. Yeah, perfect.

ROVER

Okay. Stealthily or not?

ANNIE

Yes. Stealthily for now.

ELIZABETH

Stealthily, yes, cause Josie specifically said.

ROVER

Alright.

ANNIE

We want the element of surprise.

ROVER

The people who are moving upstairs, roll me a Stealth check.

Yeah, Viktor's following.

ROVER

Is that everyone?That's everyone.

MIRA

Everyone, I guess.

[Dice thunks]

ROVER

Amazing.

[Mira gasps]

[Dice tower clacks]

ELIZABETH

That is a 17 from Corwin.

Oh, I'm good at this! Oh, that's nice.

[Laughter]

Um...21.

ROVER

Okay. However I see a very worried face from Una.

Una. Una don't tell me you rolled a 1.

MIRA

I'm not worried. I rolled a nat 20, I just didn't wanna burst in. (Laughs)

Ooh!

ROVER

Ooh! Okay! However, Josie...

ANNIE

Can you...can you help cover me? My noises? Cause I rolled a 7.

Can I take the Help action to—(laughs).

ANNIE

I was gonna say, I was gonna say—

MIRA

Right, would it be fair to say the higher the roll, the quicker you are out of the staircase?

ROVER

I will say so, yeah. I would say that.

ANNIE

Okay, that would work.

ROVER

They, two of them...give me a Perception check, the person who is first out of the thing? I think it was Corwin? Corwin was the first one going up?

ELIZABETH

Yeah, Corwin was the first one going up, so probably...

ROVER

Give me a Perception check.

[Dice clunks]

ELIZABETH

14.

Woo. Not bad.

MIRA

Wooo.

ANNIE

Okay.

ROVER

They seem to have a lot of dark clothes on. They have weapons, it seems to be some kind of...at least one of them has a crossbow. The others seem to have scimitars, or something similar. It's three people, and they are ransacking the place. They are looking for stuff, they are grabbing the weapons that they can.

No! I wanted to loot the guns.

[Rhythmic music grows louder]

ROVER

And one of them has jumped behind the counter, is looking through all the papers. And is gathering all of the stuff that they can. The two with the scimitars, that are trashing most of the place, have not spotted you yet. The one with the crossbow is definitely looking out, has currently not had their eyes on you. However, is the one keeping the eye out—the one with the crossbow.

The one with the crossbow is also still at the door. And one of them is closest to where the pressure plate is—at the, behind the desk. And the other one has just pushed the shelves over. They are about 10 feet from each other.

ELIZABETH

Okay...so Corwin is probably, as the first one up the stairs, she’s probably going to try and get out of the way so everyone else can come up. And probably try and kind of stick to the shadows. She's not gonna outright attack just yet because she's worried about that pressure plate closing while people are down there.

ROVER

Yeah. Okay. That's doable, you guys can do that. When Josie gets up the stairs, there is this kind of moment where it's like, a slight tap of the shoe against the stone, and there's a slight noise.

ANNIE

Probably the quarterstaff bonks on something.

ROVER

Yeah, probably the quarterstaff.

[Laughs]

Great.

ROVER

And it is just the immediate sign from the person with the crossbow. They seem to be Half-Elves, all of them. And the one with the crossbow immediately points to where you guys are going, and is just like,

ROVER [as CROSSBOW INTRUDER]

Hold up! Oh, for fuck's sake, we're not the first ones. Okay.

ELIZABETH [as CORWIN]

You're telling us to hold up? You're the ones who are—

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

(Quietly) I...I think she was giving commands to her party.

ROVER [as CROSSBOW INTRUDER]

Give us the stuff and we'll leave you...we'll let you guys leave.

MIRA

Are we all out of the thingy, by the way?

ROVER

You guys are all out of the thing, yeah.

MIRA

Can I just defiantly do the pressure plate to close the thing behind us?

ROVER

The pressure plate is currently behind one of the people standing there.

MIRA

What? I thought...

ROVER

It's at...the shelf, pressure plate...

It's not on the side where the door opens, essentially.

ROVER

It's not on the side where the door is.

MIRA

Oooooh. Okay.

ROVER

It is, like, behind the desk where one of the people now is with the scimitar. And they get their weapons ready.

MIRA

So, is it like, can I see it?

ROVER

You can see it, absolutely.

MIRA

Can I aim at it with a...no, cause it's a pressure plate that twists, nevermind.

You have to twist it, I guess, right?

ROVER

Yeah, you have to twist it.

MIRA

(Dramatic sigh) I wanted to be cool. (Sighs) I guess.

Oooh! Oh baby girl!

ROVER

Sorry!

ELIZABETH

The horror.

You are the rock of the party. You are going to be cool, in one second.

[Laughter]

ANNIE

Ooh.

ROVER

The two guys with the scimitars get their stuff out, with the…

ANNIE

Okay.

Are they drawing weapons?

ROVER

They are drawing weapons. They are ready.

ANNIE

None of us are near enough to them, right? I know Corwin was moving over there, but we're not...there's, like, a little distance between us? We're kind of facing off?

ROVER

Yeah. Currently, you guys are at least, like, 15 feet away from the person who is near the pressure plate.

ANNIE

Before they finish drawing weapons, Josie is casting Entangle on the entire room, to tie them all down.

Nice.

ELIZABETH

(Whispering) Nice.

ROVER

Amazing. So tell us how you cast Entangle, and in the meantime, everyone roll Initiative.

ANNIE

Yeah!

ELIZABETH

Let's go!

[Dice tower clacks, assorted Good Dice Noises]

ROVER

So, to explain Initiative, everyone rolls their d20. There's...you get their Dex modifier added to that, together with any other modifiers that you get for Initiative. It depends on the subclass that everyone is. And to finally say it out loud, because I've noticed that we haven't said it, everyone's level 3 currently.

ANNIE

Yeah!

[Excited noises from all]

We're going to die.

ELIZABETH

Corwin rolled a 17 for Initiative.

ANNIE

15 for Josie.

18 for Viktor.

ANNIE

Great! Pretty good rolls.

ROVER

How much was Josie? Which one?

ANNIE

15.

ROVER

15? Viktor is 18. Una is...19?

MIRA

It was dirty 20.

ANNIE

Yeah.

ROVER

Cool.

ANNIE

Cool!

ROVER

What is their stuff, what do they get with a…nice.

ELIZABETH

While you're researching, just to confirm, we're all kind of clustered together, right? Like, the four of us are...

ROVER

You are now clustered together.

ELIZABETH

Great.

ROVER

Yeah. And they are about 10 feet from each other. One is at the door, one is at the desk, and one is kind of in the middle where they have just pushed all the shelves down.

So you're casting Entangle, first of all.

ANNIE

Yes.

ROVER

Cause it will cause a surprise round.

ANNIE

Yes.

ROVER

Which is good. Explain how you're casting Entangled.

ANNIE

So I also haven't explained what Josie's quarterstaff looks like yet, so—

ROVER

Yeah! Go for it.

ANNIE

Imagine, if you will, a wharf or a pier out off a beach, into the ocean. You know the big telephone pole-sized pilings that they drive down into the water that hold it up there. Imagine if one of those was splintered as if by a lightning strike. It's singed on both ends, and it's very, like, the bottom end is now flattened from years of use, but the top is still extremely jagged and pointed. It is burned with fire on both ends. It's covered in like a decade of...what was algae and seaweed a decade ago, but is now just the pale ghosts of that. But it looks in far better shape than it should have for how dead those plants are.

Oh, she's so cool.

ANNIE

The rest of the wood itself has not changed at all. Since she's had it.

ELIZABETH

(Whispering) That is so cool.

[Soft dice thunks]

I am rolling Wisdom save to fall in love with her—no. No.

[Laughter]

ELIZABETH

That is incredible. That is legit so cool.

So cool!

ANNIE

And so she takes the quarterstaff. You know, she's stealthing up the stairs, bonks it on the kind of door frame, they turn like this, and so she immediately just straightens it up in front of her, like dead between her eyes like this, and just dwoom into the ground between two stones.

(Quietly) Mmm! (Claps) Yes!

MIRA

(Quietly) So good!

ANNIE

And, you know, is like muttering under her breath in Druidic. And just, bam, into the stones. And then, I don't have to make a roll for this. It just works.

[Low thunk, followed by a cascading, electric twang of power]

What?! Oh yeah.

ANNIE

In a 20-square-foot radius in the room—they have a DC that they...but I don't have to make any checks, they have to make the checks.

Okay, yeah. I was like, what?

MIRA

(Laughing) No, it just happens. It’s just…

ANNIE

(Laughs) Yeah exactly. So yeah, no matter what, this happens. The effect that happens, no matter what, by the way, is that the entire room from whichever one of them is closest to us, for a 20-foot radius, so a 40-foot circle, with them on the edge of it, the room becomes Difficult Terrain for everyone but me.

ROVER

Okay!

MIRA

That's fine.

ANNIE

And every single...so the three of them need to make a Strength Saving Throw. And let me get my DC for you, my Spell DC.

ROVER

Okay.

That is the entire room, right? It wasn't that big.

ROVER

That is most likely at least the entire place—

ANNIE

Yes. Exactly.

ROVER

—where you guys are not standing. And where they definitely are.

ANNIE

And part of what—to be clear, because of the way that she's placing the spell, if it has to, because I can't change the size of the circle of it here...

ROVER

Mmhmm?

ANNIE

If it has to do this in order to entangle them and not me, it is affecting some area outside of the shop as well.

Aaah!

ANNIE

It is going so that the circle affects them and not me, and I do not give a shit what is happening on the street out front.

No, that's fine.

ANNIE

We'll deal with that later.

ELIZABETH

Incredible.

ROVER

Wonderful.

ANNIE

They are getting tied down. So, the DC...

(Laughing) Just some random grandpa getting entangled outside the shop, like (distressed noise).

ELIZABETH

Also, so Difficult Terrain, just so listeners know, that halves your movement speed, right?

Yeah.

ANNIE

Yes.

ELIZABETH

Cool.

ANNIE

And it can make certain actions more difficult.

ELIZABETH

Cool cool cool.

ANNIE

Like Concentration and things.

MIRA

If you need to move. (Laughs)

ANNIE

They need to make a Strength Saving Throw with a DC of 14.

Mmm. Not bad, not bad.

ANNIE

Oh, and sorry, to be clear: if they fail that, then they will immediately be restrained for one minute. And each round, they can take, they can use their action to repeat the roll.

MIRA

Also they would need to burn the action to try and get themselves out.

ANNIE

To try and even, yeah, to even take another roll, yes.

Yes!

ROVER

So I don't fudge rolls, I want to have that known. Only one of them, the person at the pressure plate, is Entangled.

ANNIE

Of course. Woah, okay, that's good at least.

ROVER

The other two have made the save. So basically: roll a d20, add their…

ANNIE

Strength.

ROVER

They add their Strength modifier to it and any kind of plusses they have to that. And they rolled a 19 and an 18, the ones that made it.

Oh, that's not bad.

ELIZABETH

Oof.

ANNIE

Okay. Well, hey, one of them is out of commission for a bit, and they can't close the door on whoever's still coming up the stairs.

ROVER

Yeah.

ANNIE

And the other two are now in Difficult Terrain, so they'll have a harder time aiming and doing a lot of other things.

ROVER

Yeah, exactly.

ANNIE

Well that's my action for the surprise round.

MIRA

Is it also that if a creature, if a hostile creature enters it, it automatically needs to do the Strength check to not get Entangled as well? Or is that a different thing I'm thinking of? In case there's more coming, basically.

ANNIE

No no no. It's just each creature in the area when I cast the spell must succeed on the Strength Saving Throw.

ROVER

Amazing, okay. They have to do their saves again at their turn, right? If they’re Entangled?

ANNIE

Yeah, they have to burn an action to do the save.

ROVER

Yeah. Got it. Understood.

ANNIE

I mean, they can do—I don't know what else they can do while restrained, if they don't want to try the save, but they can't do much of anything, I'm sure, so.

ROVER

(Whispering) They don't, they can't do much.

Good to know. I can.

ANNIE

Yeah. But that also means you guys can get up close.

Yes!

ROVER

Their speed is zero. Their attacks have Disadvantage, and you guys have Advantage. And the saving throws are Disadvantage on Dex.

MIRA

Yeah.

ANNIE

The good news is that means you guys can get within melee range without...you'll enter the difficult terrain, but you won't be restrained.

ELIZABETH

Okay, great.

ANNIE

So if you guys need to run up and attack.

ROVER

Cool.

ANNIE

And, well since I acted first, I guess I'll just finish up a quick turn. That, so that's the action there. Do we have a battle map, by the way, or are we just going to kind of mental, mind's eye fudge this a bit?

ROVER

I think we're going to do theater of the mind, yeah.

ANNIE

Okay, great. Josie is going to then step into the room, while they are quickly making the save, basically. While they are recovering from the vines popping out, Josie's going to kind of just run a few feet off to one corner and stand ready, staff pointing at them, for her next turn.

ROVER

Amazing.

ANNIE

And above the table, Josie is—Vik might know—Josie is getting ready to become something else.

MIRA

(Strained) Step away from Josie! (Laughs)

[Laughter]

ANNIE

That's why I went away!

Josie's getting ready for her coming out.

ANNIE

Yes, exactly.

[Laughter]

ROVER

So Josie was second to last in Initiative. With surprise, that skips Scimitar 2 person, and then we get to the top of Initiative. Una, it's your turn.

[Rhythmic music continues]

MIRA

How do you count talking, like asking a question with a brief answer? Is it a bonus action, action, or a free action?

ROVER

Free action. I will say you can just do that. However, as long as it's not a full-blown conversation in 6 seconds. So you can shout something out and have a response.

MIRA

Yeah. The question will be, "Which one do we leave?"

ANNIE

Mmm?

MIRA

Alive. Which one do we leave alive?

ROVER

Someone can answer. That's okay. Do that—that's fine in combat.

ANNIE

Josie's gonna say,

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

All if possible. Crossbow if necessary.

MIRA [as UNA]

All if possible. Crossbow if necessary. Okay.

ANNIE

If there only has to be one, it will be the crossbow. But...

MIRA

Is it the one Entangled...so about, what, 10 feet away from us, and that's the one with the crossbow, Ro?

ROVER

The one at the…behind the desk at the pressure plate is Entangled. The room is almost completely filled except for the side of the wall at the very, at the other end.

MIRA

Yeah but the one that's Entangled is not the one with the crossbow? Is it?

ROVER

That is the one with the scimitar. Yeah. There's two scimitar people, and the one with the crossbow is literally at the broken window that they just, they cracked open.

ANNIE

At the far end of the room.

ROVER

Yeah.

ANNIE

Okay.

ROVER

It's like, glass windows and the middle one broken, and the one to the left is the door where you guys broke in.

MIRA

Okay, so Una is going to run up to...gimme a second here. Blah blah blah blah...oh my goodness, I probably should have read that sooner. I was too engrossed in the role play. I'm just gonna run up to the one that’s Entangled cause I know I will have a straight Advantage against that person.

ROVER

Mmhmm.

MIRA

And I'm just gonna do a sneak attack.

ROVER

Give me the attack roll.

MIRA

So I would like to attack that one with the Advantage using my Psionic Blade with the sneak attack on it. Por favor!

ROVER

Okay.

MIRA

Okay.

[Dice thunks]

ROVER

Roll your d20, add your attack bonus.

MIRA

That's gonna be...26 to attack.

[Schiiing of a blade]

ROVER

(Splutters) Yeah, no. That hits.

[Wet, meaty thud]

Okay Una. Alright.

ROVER

Yeah.

ELIZABETH

Incredible.

ROVER

Yeah. Yeah no.

[Laughter]

Sure.

Actually, I take a nap.

ROVER

Do you wanna immediately insta-kill this person as well? Yeah, go for it, yeah.

MIRA

Listen, she is like a bulldog. You say bite, she bites.

Yeah, no.

ANNIE

Yeah.

She's so sweet though.

[Intermittent dice clunks]

MIRA

It's 2...1...she rolls like shit though. 2, 1, 8. I don't have—okay, for anyone listening, I don't have my dice with me, I need to roll individually.

So it's 8 together. It is 12 plus 4, that's 16, plus...yeah that's it. That’s it. That's all of it, I think.

ROVER

16 damage. Alright.

ELIZABETH

Wow.

ROVER

With your psychic blade.

MIRA

I think...with the psychic blade, which...psychic blade, 1d6. Cause it was 1d6 for that, 2d6 for the sneak attack, 1d6 for the fact that it's a dagger, if I'm doing this correctly?

ROVER

Yeah.

MIRA

So, and plus 4. So, yeah. So that was 12 plus 4. 16 damage. And it's gonna be counting as psychic damage because I'm using the psychic blade.

ROVER

Yeah.

MIRA

Ah, sorry, 1d6 of that is gonna be counting as that. So that's gonna be 2. I'm gonna be fair.

ROVER

Yeah yeah yeah, no. It's not gonna change anything. So, yeah, you take 16 damage away from these creatures that are totally just humanoids with absolutely no special abilities, no, what do you mean?

[Laughter]

Ro, sweating, adding some special abilities as the rogue strikes, being like, "Oh fuck!".

ROVER

Alright, you do that to my boy! Well, it's his turn, he's like, "ow!" Because you can't do anything else!

ANNIE

Yep.

ELIZABETH

Oh yeah, cause he's restrained.

MIRA

I mean, he can attack me.

ROVER

You're currently—you are five feet in front of him, though.

MIRA

Yeah.

ANNIE

Yeah, so he can either attack or attempt to break free.

MIRA

It has Disadvantage.

ROVER

He's going to try to hit you with the scimitar. That will be two d20s, taking the lowest one, and that is absolutely going to miss, cause that was a 4 and a 5.

Oh, amazing.

[Annie laughs]

ROVER

Swings at you, misses.

[Blade swishing through the air]

And that was their turn. Viktor.

Jo has a question.

ROVER

Jo has a question.

Because I have audio processing issues...processing—aasjksh, I can't even talk. You know what I mean?

MIRA

Audio possession issues? (Laughs)

(Laughing) I have possession issues. (Sound of a possessed Jo)

[Laughter]

ROVER

Okay, go for it.

Which one did we want to keep alive?

ELIZABETH

Crossbow.

MIRA

The one with the crossbow.

ANNIE

Crossbow, the one that was barking orders by the window, is what Josie said.

ELIZABETH

Yeah but Josie said all of them, if possible. Crossbow if you have to kill people.

MIRA

Yeah. So Crossbow it is. Basically. Priority.

[Laughter]

Okay. I mean, they've drawn weapons, and I don't have any magical means to restrain someone. I can only do an ouchie. (Laughs) I'm going to kill a man. I'm going to...so we have Entangled Guy behind the counter where Una is at.

ROVER

Yeah.

I'm not worried about him because he seems to be stupid and chose to swing instead of...

ANNIE

(Laughing) Yeah.

Then we have...Crossbow Guy at the window, at the smashed windows.

ROVER

Yep.

And where's the other one?

ROVER

The other person is behind all the shelves that have fallen over and are now onto the floor. So it's the other side of the wall.

Would he have cover behind those shelves?

ROVER

No, they're all on the floor.

(Laughs) Okay, they are all idiots. Okay. Amazing.

ROVER

Yeah.

ANNIE

(Gleefully) Yeah.

I'm going to...I'm going to turn to Shelf Guy. How far away is he from Viktor?

ROVER

Like 20 feet?

(Chuckles) All good. I'm going to turn to Shelf Guy...

ROVER

I like that his name is now Shelf Guy. I will call him Shelley.

Shelley Shelf Guy.

ROVER

Shelley Shelf Guy.

ANNIE

Shelley Shelf Guy. Perfect.

Viktor's going to turn to them, raise his left arm…does it have a verbal component? Oh, it has a verbal component. Amazing. Point his blackened finger, and say,

JO [as VIKTOR]

You.

And cast Witch Bolt on that man.

[Annie laughs]

ELIZABETH

Let's go!

ROVER

So, tell me how Witch Bolt works.

Witch Bolt is actually, just, lightning coming down at you, bruh. They do not get to make a save. I cast at range with my attack, and it's not very shadow magic-y. You kind of can tell there's some Viktor flavor in this. This lightning bolt that is striking this Shelf Guy is the color of forget-me-nots.

ANNIE

Mmm!

ELIZABETH

Love.

ROVER

Depressing.

Probably nothing to do with his lore or something. (Laughs) I mean, what do you mean?

ANNIE

No, what are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

ROVER

Roll me an attack.

I'm going to roll attack.

[Dice clinks]

Does a 19 hit?

ROVER

So, explain to me how it hits. (Dramatic sigh)

(Laughs) This lightning is extending, this very beautiful lightning is extending, and I think it just hits him in the face.

[Crackling, electric burst]

And it's going to be...2d12 lightning damage to that poor man. I think a lot of people are not having a good day today.

ANNIE

Mmhmm.

ROVER

I think we're gonna have, we're gonna have to have a moment of…

ANNIE

Power scaling?

ROVER

…that Viktor's a bit too overpowered for who he is. (Strained) Nope, totally not.

No.

ANNIE

Yeah, a couple of us might turn out to be.

ROVER

(Strained) Nope. No. I'm having the time of my life.

MIRA

Listen, you wanted to homebrew, you gotta homebrew. (Laughs)

[Dice clacking in the background]

ROVER

Oh, absolutely yeah. Oh I'm loving this!

Ah, sweetheart, this is—

ROVER

Ro is loving this! The DM isn't.

This is a level 1 warlock spell.

MIRA

Yeah, it is.

ROVER

I love it, that's fantastic.

ANNIE

It’s so good. That’s crazy.

And this is not homebrew shit.

[Dice clacking]

14 lightning damage.

MIRA

Beautiful.

ELIZABETH

Dang.

ROVER

14 lightning damage. Okay, on Shelley. Understood.

MIRA

(Laughing) Shelley.

And also, it's now kind of an arc that connects us, because on each of my subsequent turns—

ANNIE

Ah, that's right.

—I can take a bonus action to deal 1d12 lightning damage to the target automatically, even if the first attack missed. Oh my god. That's a fucked up spell.

ANNIE

(Crosstalk) It's so cool. Witch Bolt's so fucking cool.

ROVER

(Crosstalk) Oh, I now know which spell it is. Yeah.

ELIZABETH

(Crosstalk) That is wild. That is so cool.

MIRA

(Crosstalk) Yeah, Witch Bolt is so good.

The spell ends if the target is ever outside the spell's range or it has total cover from you.

ROVER

Okay.

So he could be smart, if he wanted to.

ROVER

Okay.

Also, it's concentration, by the way. So it's, like, it's kind of, it's leveling out somewhere. So I cannot cast another concentration spell.

MIRA

Yeah, there you go.

This arc just connecting these two strangers: one of them having a bad day, and the other one too.

[Laughter]

And he's, he's just going to be like,

JO [as VIKTOR]

I will count to 10, and you have to make the decision to either fight or give up. One...

And that's my turn.

ROVER

Got it. Alright. So Corwin, it is now your turn in the Initiative order.

ELIZABETH

Okay, so...Crossbolt Guy is, what like 15 feet away?

ROVER

Yeah, 20 feet. Let's say 20 for all of them.

ELIZABETH

Okay, 20. Okay, so Corwin is going to move...and it's Difficult Terrain, so we get half movement, right?

ROVER

Mmhmm.

ELIZABETH

Okay, great. So Corwin is going to move 10 feet toward Crossbolt Guy, ah, Crossbow Guy, because her halberd has a 10-foot reach, so that will put Crossbow Guy within reach. And then she is gonna try and swing on him with her halberd.

ROVER

Alright, go for it.

[Heavy dice thunks]

ELIZABETH

That's a nat 1. (Laughs)

Ah, Corwin! Oh, my sweet princess!

ANNIE

Ah, no! Princess, no!

ELIZABETH

Noooooo!

ROVER

So, what Corwin does is swing with the halberd. What the halberd does is instead of hitting our lovely Crossbow Guy, is hitting the glass and shattering the other side of the glass.

[Elizabeth laughs]

There are now, all panels of windows are now smashed, except for the panel on the door.

ELIZABETH

Cool cool cool.

ROVER

So that, there's this loud crash coming from the glass breaking.

[Glass breaking]

And the person with the crossbow's just like,

ROVER [as CROSSBOW PERSON]

Nice try. You wanna do that again?

ROVER

Before they...please hit, please hit...

ANNIE

Oh, is it their turn now?

(Whispering) Don't hit. Don't hit. Don't hit.

ROVER

Yes, it is their turn.

ELIZABETH

Oh wait! For the rest of her turn, I was just gonna have her move 5 feet back. Cause she still has movement, even though she doesn't have any more actions. But I just split her movement. So I was gonna have her use the rest of her movement to go 5 foot back toward Viktor. But sorry, go ahead.

ROVER

No no, it was your turn. I just think it's a very funny moment that there's just glass breaking, and then the person's like, "yeah no, I got this." Misses with their crossbow hit…

[Sharp thunk and twang of an arrow]

[Laughter]

...at the wall next to you.

ANNIE

I love low-level battles.

ROVER

And they just go,

ROVER [as CROSSBOW PERSON]

(Yelling) Oh for fuck's sake, can someone do anything?

[Laughter]

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

Funny you should say that!

JO [as VIKTOR]

Doing something right here.

ELIZABETH

Corwin's like,

ELIZABETH [as CORWIN]

Not you or I, apparently.

Oh!

ANNIE

Oh!

ROVER

So, Josie it's your turn again.

ANNIE

Josie is going to say,

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

As a matter of fact...

ANNIE

And once again, staff up, down, and it's just like, the staff, something kind of...not exceptionally bright, but some unnatural-looking sheen of light comes out and just pwoof around Josie really quick.

[Shining, ringing poof]

ROVER

Yeah?

ANNIE

And then you hear some horrifying noises for about a second and a half, two seconds as the light expands and then fades away.

[Quiet clicking, fading up into sharp cracks and crunching of bones. Spider noises]

And in Josie's spot there is now a giant spider...

MIRA

(Gasps)

ELIZABETH

Ooooooh.

ANNIE

...taking up a significant portion of the end of the room.

Oh!

ANNIE

And as a giant spider, Josie is going to turn to Crossbow Person and say,

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

How's that? You and I need to talk. Easy way or the hard way.

ELIZABETH

That is so freaking cool.

ROVER

Is Wildshape an action or a bonus action in 2024? Remind me. I think a bonus action, right?

ANNIE

I think it's a bonus action. Hold on a second.

Oh my god! Really?

ROVER

I think they changed it to a bonus action in 2024.

ANNIE

I'm going to pull it up to make sure.

MIRA

If it's a Moon Druid, then yeah, for sure.

ANNIE

Yeah yeah yeah. Yep yep yep. Yep yep yep yep. Okay.

ROVER

Perfect.

ANNIE

So that was a bonus action, that she's gonna do that. And she is, as a spider, I'm getting the character sheet up for the spider very quickly. Movement speed is 30 feet. And I do not suffer the terrain penalty for my own Entangle. So as this spider, moving in that extremely quick and really fucked-up-looking way that spiders move—

ROVER

(Vague noise of disgust)

ANNIE

—is going to go around and pass between Corwin and the Crossbow Person, and step outside the window behind, to cut off retreat.

Ah! Oh Josie, I love your brain!

ELIZABETH

Smart! Smart!

ANNIE

(Laughs) So she's going to be outside on the street now, just crawling out of this building as a fucking spider, out into the public.

ROVER

Amazing.

ANNIE

Entangling vines on the pavement around her.

ELIZABETH

Incredible.

ANNIE

Blocking off their retreat.

ROVER

Amazing.

ANNIE

And I am going to...here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to—I think it's, I have to remember all the, cause I get Pathfinder in my head so much sometimes—I believe it's holding an action?

ROVER

You can hold your action, yeah. You can hold your action and insert it before your next turn.

ANNIE

Yeah. Basically, I'm preparing to shoot this person with a web if they do not surrender upon their next turn immediately. But I am waiting for their response first.

ROVER

Understood.

ELIZABETH

Yeah, like a readied action.

ROVER

Yeah.

ANNIE

Yes. So, so anything other than, anything that indicates continued combat out of specifically Crossbow Person, whether that is an attack, or just even saying, "No, I'm not surrendering," or whatever, I will use the Web action.

ROVER

Got it. Then the person, Shelley Duvall—

[Laughter]

ELIZABETH

Excuse me!

ROVER

Shelley Duvall—

ELIZABETH

Wait wait wait, is this person related to Corwin? I will cry.

ROVER

It might, they're a Half-Elf. Shelley Duvall. (Laughs) No, absolutely I was joking. So Shelley…

ELIZABETH

Oh my gosh, they're a Half-Elf. Okay okay, I'm sorry, continue.

ANNIE

That would be the dumbest way we could ever come to that.

[Laughter]

ROVER

…gets their scimitar and moves up to Una—

MIRA

Hello.

ROVER

—in the 15 feet, and also is gonna try to hit you with their scimitar.

MIRA

Okay.

ROVER

I don't know if it's gonna go very well because I am cursed.

[Dice clacks]

What is your AC again? 14, right?

MIRA

Yeah.

ROVER

They slice a part of the clothes that you have, but they miss the skin.

[Sharp slicing of cloth]

I rolled a 13.

MIRA

Nice.

ROVER

So it's just a slash along that. And then is just like,

ROVER [as SHELLEY]

We need this stuff.

ROVER

And then it's Una's turn.

ELIZABETH

Quick question. Did he cross in front of Viktor and I? Did he cross within 10 feet of me?

ROVER

No.

ELIZABETH

Okay, cool cool cool. Nevermind.

MIRA

So I've got one in front of me that I attacked. I'm guessing one to one of my sides?

ROVER

Yeah. So you're almost flanked.

MIRA

Almost flanked. It's fine, cause I still have Advantage against the one I was going for anyway.

ROVER

Yep!

ANNIE

Yep!

MIRA

I'm just gonna finish one business, then I'm going to take care of the rest.

[Annie laughs]

So I'm just gonna look at the, let's say it was a sleeve, I'm just gonna look at the sleeve, look at the person, and then without breaking the eye contact, I'm just gonna make an apparition of the psychic blade again. Because every time I hit or miss, they disappear, so I need to redo them.

ROVER

Yeah.

MIRA

So I'm just gonna do that, and I'm just gonna literally just go—

[Schiiiing of a blade]

—straight for the person right in front of me.

ROVER

Okay.

[Good dice clunks]

MIRA

Okay. So that's a 22 to hit.

ELIZABETH

Nice.

MIRA

With the Advantage. So we’re just gonna…

ROVER

Yeah, that hits.

MIRA

We're just gonna roll again. And I forgot to do something with my bonus action earlier, so I'm gonna do it now. So I'm gonna use the psionic blade, so that's 1d6, so that's a 4. Plus sneak attack, 4.

[Dice clunks]

That's 10 together, plus another 4, so that's 14 together for the sneak attack psionic blades on that one person.

ROVER

Mmhmm. Anything else?

MIRA

Well, are they dead yet? Or....?

ROVER

That's what I'm wondering. Because, did you do 14 damage?

MIRA

If they are not, then I can use a bonus action to remedy that.

ANNIE

Are they downed at least?

ROVER

For…hypothetically, right? Hypothetically.

MIRA

(Laughing) Hypothetically!

[Laughter]

ROVER

If, with your bonus action, you would do 2 more damage...Would you be able to do that?

MIRA

Yeah, potentially.

ROVER

Okay! You know, how do you kill him?

MIRA

I want to gut him like a fish.

[Laughter and noises of disgust]

ROVER

Ahhhh, okay, yeah go for it.

MIRA

So you know how, so you know how, like I said, without breaking the eye contact, anyone actually is able to see the expression on Una's face is completely different to what you have seen right now. Maybe similar to what you had seen when she attacked Safra. And she literally just digs...she just makes the appearances of that psychic blade. We can say it comes in that blue-ish hue that we described before?

ROVER

Amazing, yes, perfect. Yeah.

MIRA

Stabs the person.

[Wet, meaty thunk]

And she literally just slides the blade up his torso until it hits the ribcage.

[Squishy, meaty, tearing]

ANNIE

Ah, okay. Eughh.

MIRA

And this is when she doesn't even let go because it just disappears. So, do I need to burn my bonus action, or not?

ROVER

You will have to burn your bonus action, yeah.

MIRA

Okay, that's fine.

ROVER

And then they fall on their knees forward.

Are they still held up by Entangled?

ELIZABETH

Oh my gosh.

ROVER

They're not! They're not Entangled. They're not Entangled. This is the one that isn't Entangled, right?

MIRA

No no no. That was the one that was Entangled—

ANNIE

No, this is the one that is Entangled!

MIRA

—cause I had the Advantage, cause I was standing right next to him.

ROVER

Hey, hey, then you don't need to do anything with your bonus action because they had 14 hit points.

MIRA

Okay. So then I'm going to use my bonus action on the other guy.

ROVER

Amazing.

ELIZABETH

Get 'em, Una.

But he's my little bitch. (Laughs)

MIRA

I can use...so let me just...so after you attack with the blade on your turn, you can make a melee or ranged attack with a second psychic blade as a bonus action on the same turn, if your other hand is free to create it.

[Schiiing of a blade]

The damage die for this bonus attack is 1d4 instead of 1d6. And it's obviously not going to warrant the sneak attack, and it's just going to be a normal attack, as well. So...

[Dice thunks]

That will be a 17 to hit.

ROVER

Yeah no, that hits. Absolutely.

MIRA

Okay, so that's a 1d4 plus 4. Those are so weird, what is that number? It's a 4. So it's 8 points of damage.

[Wet thunk]

ROVER

Amazing. They are still up. They are looking very bad, but they are still up.

MIRA

And then second hand, and just ram it into them as well. Keep on keeping the eye contact this whole time with that one person.

ROVER

Ooof. Una's terrifying.

MIRA

That's my turn, thank you!

ROVER

Viktor, you have just seen Una gut someone.

Ah, he is not phased by that.

ANNIE

And stab the person you are connected to, as well.

ROVER

And stab, stab Shelley.

That's also fine. Can I ask a question as a player?

ROVER

Yes.

We're playing 2024 rules, right?

ROVER

Yes.

That means the condition Bloodied exists—that means half their hitpoints or lower. Is this person Bloodied?

ROVER

Yes.

Okay! I just want to make sure if I can kill this guy.

ROVER

Okay, that's totally not terrifying.

ANNIE

(Laughs) Yeah, right?

Amazing. Alright. Cool cool cool. (Clears throat) Viktor's going,

JO [as VIKTOR]

Four.

(Laughs) And is going to...is there a way I can stand behind this guy so that I get flanking with Una?

ROVER

You are currently facing them. So in the way, you could...what is your movement speed? Because your movement speed will be halved to actually walk up to them.

30 feet, so 15.

ROVER

15 feet. Actually 15 feet might actually just do it. So then you can flank.

Okay! I'm going to flank, and I'm actually going to attack Shelley...(Laughs) I hate that we named them.

ANNIE

I love it.

ROVER

Flanking is basically, if you're standing around them with two or more people, they are flanked, which means you guys have Advantage, and they have Disadvantage on the roll.

Do you get Disadvantage just because you're flanked?

ROVER

Yes! Yeah you do.

I thought just the attacker gets Advantage, and that's what happens.

ROVER

No, they have Disadvantage.

[Dice clacks and clunks]

Okay, I'm going to take him with my rapier. Sorry if I didn't say that.

ROVER

Mmhmm.

This is 18 plus 7, someone do the math for me.

ROVER

Yeah, no that hits.

ANNIE

25. Yeah.

[Laughter]

ROVER

25 hits. I'm upping all my monsters.

[Laughter]

Fuck. I always ask this. I swear to god this will be the last time I ask you, Ro.

MIRA

It won't.

Do I add my modifier sheet to my damage, as well?

ROVER

Yeah. Yeah. You add your...

Proficiency and...?

ROVER

It's a melee attack, Strength.

No.

ROVER

Your Strength modifier.

I'm cool, I don't use Strength.

MIRA

If it is a weapon you're proficient with, then yes you add Proficiency. If you were to use a weapon that you're not proficient with, you would only be adding the modifier that the weapon requires—so like a Strength or Dex. But you would not be adding Proficiency.

Okay. No, I'm proficient. Okay, cool cool cool cool cool. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Okay, that's...I can do math, I can do math. 12 damage. Piercing.

ROVER

Okay. Yep. How do you want to do that?

Ah, amazing.

ROVER

You know, murdering?

Ah, murdering? How do I...I think Viktor goes for a quicker death than Una does, and just stabs them in the throat.

[Schiiing of a blade, wet thunk of stabbing]

ROVER

Okay.

While saying, I don't know where I counted—

JO [as VIKTOR]

[Laughter]

And just stabs them. I said I would count to 10! But—

MIRA

You did!

ROVER

Incredible!

ANNIE

Well, they made a choice. In fairness, they went up and attacked, so they made a choice within the 10.

Oh yeah, no actually, actually, actually...he's going to skip a couple of numbers and just go,

ANNIE

I was gonna say, "10!"

JO [as VIKTOR]

10.

[Laughter, clapping]

And just stabs Shelley in the face.

ROVER

Amazing! Okay.

ELIZABETH

Let's go!

ANNIE

In fairness, you said, "you have 10 seconds to decide," and he went and attacked. He decided.

I'm sorry, give me one second because the spell Witch Bolt does not tell me what happens when the target dies. It only says the spell...

ANNIE

I think it just ends.

ROVER

I think it just ends, yeah.

It's weird that it doesn't say that. But okay, I guess the lightning bolt just recedes.

[Note: We were messaging in the text chat about how to calculate damage. Ro is responding to those chats with this next comment!]

ROVER [Responding to a message in the text chat]

Elizabeth is correct with: Damage is just the ability modifier. Proficiency and ability is for the attack roll bonus.

ANNIE

Yeah, not for the damage.

MIRA

Oh, I thought we were asking for the attack.

ROVER

Not for the damage.

That's what I—no. I specifically asked damage.

ROVER

That's okay!

MIRA

That was me. That was me being wrong, then.

ROVER

It would have still killed them.

ANNIE

Yeah, yeah, you still, you still—

Okay, amazing.

MIRA

Still dead.

ROVER

They had 8 hit points left.

Okay, no, that's cool. The fun part is that my modifier for this weapon is my Charisma modifier, not Strength, because I'm cool.

ELIZABETH

Nice!

ANNIE

Yeahhhh.

ROVER

Ooooh understood, understood, gotcha.

Oh yeah. And that's 5. So if I roll shit, I still would kill that man. Okay, that's me. That's my turn.

ROVER

Amazing. Corwin, it's your turn. There's only one person left.

ELIZABETH

Yeah, and she's gonna try again.

ROVER

Okay.

ELIZABETH

She’s gonna move—

ANNIE

Oh, my god.

ELIZABETH

(Laughing) I know, right?

MIRA

(Laughing) Josie's like, aargh!

ELIZABETH

She's gonna move 5 feet closer to Crossbow Person.

[Dice thunks]

And…that's a 21 to hit.

ROVER

Yeah no, that one hits!

ELIZABETH

(Laughing) At long last. And then that is 1d10 plus 3 damage, but then she's also gonna use her bonus action—ooh, maybe. Hold on.

[Dice thunks]

I also believe you can choose to do non-lethal damage, right?

ELIZABETH

That's what I was gonna ask, but I don't know that it's going to be relevant. So that is 7 piercing damage. But she's going to use her bonus action to cast Divine Smite, which auto-hits, and is an additional, I believe, 2d8 radiant damage.

ROVER

2d8 radiant damage. Roll me 2d8 radiant damage with that.

[Dice clunks]

ELIZABETH

So that is 8 radiant damage. And that was 7 piercing damage. So 15 damage.

ROVER

So 15. Amazing. How does it look when Ms. Paladin...

Princess. Princess Paladin.

[Elizabeth giggles]

ROVER

Subclass Princess...does Divine Smite?

Subclass Princess (laughs).

ROVER

I can't say—I don't know if we've established on record what your subclass is.

ANNIE

Yeah.

ROVER

Other than the one-on-ones.

ELIZABETH

I don't believe we have.

ROVER

I don't believe we have.

ELIZABETH

But yes, her...her subclass is princess. She's...as of right now!

[Laughter]

ANNIE

Yeah!

ELIZABETH

So basically, she lifts her halberd and swings and slices at Crossbow Guy—

[Schtiiing of a blade, meaty thunk]

—and then the wound begins to glow with this kind of golden light as he takes additional radiant damage.

[Shining chimes]

So it's kind of, like, burning with this golden light from where she sliced into him. Or her. Them?

ANNIE

Her?

ROVER

Ahhhh let's say he/they.

ELIZABETH

I'm so sorry! Whichever pronouns. I would like to use the right ones.

ROVER

Let's say he/they. All good.

ANNIE

Okay! Yeah, multiple pronouns. Great!

[Haunting, resonant choral singing]

ROVER

As the golden light enters that body, you can see that the moment you hit and that golden light goes out, it is almost like it continues through the body in lines at some point.

ELIZABETH

Oooh!

ROVER

Before it dashes back into the wound.

[Rising whoosh, then silence]

ANNIE

(Asking the important questions) Is that normal?

ELIZABETH

Is that normal?

ROVER

It is very much not normal. It is very much not normal.

ELIZABETH

Actually, that is a good question—I assumed these people were human. That is on me. Is this person in any way a Fiend or Undead?

ROVER

Half-Elf. Nothing else, nothing special. Humanoid. Humanoid. Yep.

ELIZABETH

Oh, it's Half-Elf! So not a Fiend. Cool cool cool cool cool.

ROVER

And they are, even for a split second, even their eyes turn gold, for just a moment.

That's so cool though.

ELIZABETH

That's so cool.

ROVER

And yeah.

ELIZABETH

Corwin's going to use the rest of her movement, I think to just kind of step, like the other 5 feet of her movement, to just step back to be kind of parallel to Josie. Yeah.

ROVER

Crossbow Guy.

ANNIE

Mmhmm.

ROVER

We have a creepy type of pain, and we have a spider. A giant spider next to them. You can see them kind of look around frantically at Corwin and Spider!Josie.

MIRA

(Whispering) Spider!Josie.

ROVER

Spider!Josie!

Sposie. Sposie. We call her Sposie.

[Laughter]

ROVER

And they say, at some point,

ROVER [as CROSSBOW PERSON]

I, I, I need to. I'm sorry.

ROVER

And aims back at Corwin.

ANNIE

Okay. Web goes off.

ROVER

Web goes off?

ANNIE

Yep, because as they're saying that, as they're saying that, they do not say the words "I surrender." The Web goes off.

ROVER

Understood.

[Laughter]

Tell me what Web does.

ANNIE

So, Web is a...they have to make a Dexterity saving throw with a DC of 13. Reminder they have Disadvantage because they are on the Entangle vines.

Ooh.

ANNIE

On Difficult Terrain.

ROVER

They are.

ANNIE

So Disadvantage, DC 13 Dex saving throw. On failure, they are restrained until the web is destroyed by any means.

ROVER

(Distantly) Well, they are definitely, with a 4 on the dice, (closer) they are definitely restrained.

ELIZABETH

Let's go.

Shit, we are competent.

ROVER

So, they're gonna do that. Web is cast, and then it's just a moment of realization, and then the crossbow just...they just let the crossbow drop. Josie, it's your turn.

ANNIE

Great.

We're still in Initiative?

ANNIE

So with the crossbow dropping, Josie is not going to immediately attack. In fact, you're going to hear a little like, (sighs) out of Josie, and kind of looks into the shop and goes,

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

Take it easy next time guys. Please.

ANNIE

And she's gonna step forward to the crossbow and go,

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

Alright, let's talk.

[Rhythmic music stops]

ROVER

You guys are out of Initiative.

[Shop ambience begins: ticking, whirring, and occasional dings]

Behind the person, Viktor is actively flipping you off.

ANNIE

Of course! Of course.

To his...he’s like, I know that you're doing the thing to be good cop, bad cop, but he's like, "fuck you!" (Laughs)

ANNIE

Yeah well, so, to be clear about Josie: Josie is actually, like, above the table a little bit, Josie is a little bit genuinely annoyed that these people, that you guys just, that nobody even thought to do non-lethal damage whatsoever. You could have just killed all three of them, as far as she's concerned. I was like, "we need to...let's cut off their retreat. Let's keep them all alive if we can, or this one if we only have to pick one,” and then you guys just go up and literally gut one of them.

Right. It was the second option.

ANNIE

And blow the other up with a Witch Bolt.

You gave us two options, and it was the second option.

ANNIE

Right.

We leave one alive.

ANNIE

Which is, which is, and you know damn well that Josie didn't mean that, and you know damn well that she's annoyed at you.

I know.

ANNIE

(Laughs) Exactly.

You know damn well that he's flipping you off. (Laughs)

ANNIE

Yeah yeah. Right, exactly! Yeah yeah yeah.

[Laughter]

This is our working relationship.

Behind this guy that now looks like Frodo in the last movie.

[Laughter]

ANNIE

Yeah exactly! Yes! That was exactly what I was thinking, is the—

Yeah, it's like, eerk.

[Laughter]

ANNIE

So, if we're out of Initiative—

ROVER

Yeah.

ANNIE

—as a spider, as Josie steps back into the shop, she's going to grab the webbed person kind of bundled and sort of carry them further in, away from the street. Presumably to try and get them somewhere that's out of sight of the main street. And I'm gonna turn...

ROVER

Do you kind of bundle them into, like, a cocoon, kind of...?

ANNIE

Yeah, basically. I'm keeping their head out. I'm not trying to knock them unconscious or whatever. But just—

ROVER

Terrifying.

ANNIE

—just, like, holding them. Yeah.

ROVER

Love it.

ANNIE

Absolutely horrifying shit.

MIRA

Yeah. Lovingly. Swaddle them.

ANNIE

As I'm working to move them, I'm gonna—

[Laughter]

I'm sorry, what?

Like a baby.

MIRA

I said you're swaddling them, it's fine! Like a baby!

ANNIE

(Laughing) Yeah, exactly!

MIRA

Like a wee babe.

ANNIE

As I'm working on getting them wrapped up, I'm gonna kind of turn to Corwin and be like...or, I guess, yeah I guess probably Corwin, since I'm a fucking spider. It's not gonna work for me to do it. I'm gonna be like,

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

Can you try to do damage control out on the street, and make sure we're not gonna have hell descending on us in a few minutes here?

ELIZABETH [as CORWIN]

Yeah.

ANNIE [as JOSIE]

We gotta try to make this quick now.

ELIZABETH [as CORWIN]

Absolutely.

ELIZABETH

Yeah, Corwin's gonna go out on the street. She'll probably go ahead and cast Mending a few times, to get the, to get the...the freaking...the windows.

ANNIE

The glass back up and stuff. Yeah.

ROVER

I will, I will let you do that, yeah.

ELIZABETH

She'll stay within earshot, cause she'll want to be hearing. But yeah, she's just gonna, she's gonna do that, and then when that's done, when things look normal, then she'll come back and stand next to kind of where things are being interviewed.

ROVER

Yeah.

ANNIE

Great. Yeah, Josie's gonna carry this Crossbow Person back towards...I'm assuming, in giant spider form, I ain't fitting on those stairs.

ROVER

No, definitely not.

MIRA

I mean...

ANNIE

But she's going to carry this body back toward that, toward the stairs, and kind of place them near there, and kind of wait to see if other people think we should go down. In which case I have to transform back, or if we should stay up here and interrogate.

MIRA

Is your head bigger than the opening for any doors?

ANNIE

Very good question. Where is the technical size?

ROVER

Good question. I don't think so...

ANNIE

I'm officially large-sized, however.

ROVER

Yeah, you're officially large, then no.

ANNIE

Yeah, spiders are fucking creepy. But, I'm officially large-sized.

ROVER

Yeah.

ANNIE

I'm giant enough that I'm like a couple people across, if I spread my legs, so.

MIRA

No, it's fine.

ROVER

Yeah, so, no you're not gonna get through the door, even.

MIRA

I don't know why I was thinking that you're still medium-sized. (Laughs)

ANNIE

Yeah, no, I am horse-sized spider, baby!

ROVER

Yeah.

Aww, I want to ride on Josie.

ANNIE

Yeah, you could!

ELIZABETH

As long as the lights are off, because we all have darkvision, as long as the lights are off, during our kind of interrogation, now that the windows are mended, no one will be able to see in. So I think we'll be okay kind of on that top floor, if you want to stay spider, just in the, in case something else happens.

MIRA

If there are curtains, I can draw the curtains.

ROVER

Ahh, you know what. Yeah. Let there be curtains.

[Laughter]

MIRA

Let there be curtains!

ELIZABETH

Let there be curtains.

ROVER

Let there be curtains!

ANNIE

Oh, and the vines, by the way, the Entanglement, by the way, the Entangle, the spell Entangle, it's a concentration and a duration up to a minute. So as soon as this fight is over, the vines are going to just kind of wither and recede and disappear.

ROVER

Yeah.

MIRA

The body just slumps into the floor.

Oh god. With the wet...splosh.

ANNIE

Yeah, it just kind of, va-thonk, thunks down.

ELIZABETH

Swthoomp.

MIRA

It wouldn't...it didn't bleed.

ANNIE

And the, the street outside, after the mending and that vines are different, probably looks like nothing happened. But I don't know what people saw, so.

ROVER

It is, the thing is also, once you pass with the body, the people that have just been murdered, and they kind of notice that there is this moment of, like,

ANNIE

(Giggles) There's a fucking spider in there!

ROVER

Yeah, no, this person is freaked-the-fuck out.

ANNIE

Yeah.

ROVER

Yes, Jo.

The moment the vines are receding, Viktor gives Josie a look, and I don't think he's putting much expression in there, it's just a look. And he goes down, back into the room with the Jonny husk, and is going to fucking study as many books as he can. And purposefully searching for names he might know, for anything to do with the crown, for anything to do with Safra.

[Thunk from the distance]

That's my fucking cat! You bitch.

[Laughter]

For anything to do with Safra. Any names that pop off he might know. And he's also...I don't think he's actually doing that super purposefully, but he's also keeping an eye out for the name Aleksander Aintsworth.

ROVER

Are you looking at the books on the table? Or are you looking through the accounting files in the bookshelves?

The shelves.

ROVER

Understood.

ROVER

So what is in the files...we'll find out…

ANNIE

It remains to be seen.

ROVER

…next episode.

ELIZABETH

It remains to be seen.

ROVER

It remains to be seen. See you next week. Buh-bye.

ALL

(Harmonizing beautifully) Bye!

[Show outro plays]

ROVER

Remains To Be Seen is an original podcast created by Dyaflame Studios and licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution non-commercial share-alike 4.0 international license.

Today’s episode was produced by Anusia Battersby and edited by Rover Elliott and Jo Mendacium. It starred:

Elizabeth Simpson as Corwin Duvall
Jo Mendacium as Viktor Valthayne
Annie Ruby as Josie
Mirah Fae as Una
and Rover Elliott as the Dungeon Master

The intro and outro were composed by We Talk of Dreams, and the transcript was written by Elizabeth Simpson.

To get in touch with us and keep up to date with our antics, follow us on Instagram, BlueSky and TikTok @ DyaflameStudios or view our website at www.dyaflame.com

Check our show notes for additional credits, links and transcripts.