006 - Protectors - Hitlist
006 - Protectors - Hitlist
Content Warnings
Spiders
Sounds of gunshots
Minor gore sounds
Sounds of bones cracking
Mind manipulation
[Show intro plays]
ROVER
Hello everyone and welcome back to Remains To Be Seen, the DnD show where one group's past can determine the other group's future. I am your host and DM Rover Elliott, pronouns he/they, and today I am here with...
ALYSSA
Hi! My name is Alyssa, she/her, and I'm just ready to get this show on the road!
RIK
Rik, he/him, and I don't really have a thing for this opening bit.
ZOE
I'm Zoe, she/they, and Rik took my opening, because I also don't have anything.
MIKE
I'm Mike, he/him, and I'm the only person who prepared for this. I hope you enjoy this episode, listener. I really do.
ROVER
(Laughs) And who are you guys playing?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yitri, she/her, and we just broke into a classroom and now there's, like, a weird thing and there's a cube.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Pierre Ardoise, he/him, and, uhm, we just broke into a classroom!
ZOE [a ALEKS]
Aleks, he/him, and after the day I just had, I really hope that it's not a fucking bone spider.
MIKE [as KOL]
Koltrast, he/him, and I really hope that wasn't a fucking bone spider.
[Laughter]
ROVER
(Cheering) Yeah! Alright, well, Alyssa, do you wanna explain to us what happened in the previous episodes?
ALYSSA
Yeah, sure, ok. We left off... we basically were at Carl's coffeeshop and we were all chilling. And then at one point, Pierre sees, like "oh, there's a poster, that's weird." And then he tries to talk to the barista or bartender. And then eventually as that's going on we... some guy named Elowin comes in and he's like, "oh, uhm, I'm the contact" right? It's bullshit, he's not our contact. But he tries to get us to give him information anyway. But then we realise that he actually is here to try to take Aleks to some guy named Chester King in Chesterfield. And we're like, "we're not gonna let that happen." Then he tries to fight us. And then, basically, Pierre is like "nah ah ah!" And then we don't fight. (Laughs) Oversimplification. And then Kol just freaking Gust of Wind kicks the guy out of the cafe. Then they go to the... wait, which way... is it University of Manchester or Manchester University?
ROVER
It is officially University of Manchester, but we call it Manchester University.
MIKE
(At the same time) Manchester University
ALYSSA
Ok, University of Manchester, we're there, we get on the roof, we break in. And then we hear... well, not we, Kol mostly hears the sound of something that is probably a bone spider. And that's where we are now. It's also midnight, by the way. (Chuckles)
ROVER
And that is indeed where we pick right up. It was a spider-like leg that was made out of just pure bone going into the classroom from the open window. And then it seemed to vanish into thick smoke. And that is where we pick up.
RIK
Did it make any noise? Like, breaking the fucking glass? I feel like it should've made noise.
ROVER
No, it went through the open window.
ALYSSA
Oh!
RIK
Oh. Oh. Oh!
ROVER
The window... The window... Wait!
MIKE
Oh, I... I closed it.
ROVER
Did you close it?
MIKE
Yeah, I closed it.
ROVER
Oh, then there is a loud shattering sound of the glass breaking. Yeah, absolutely.
[Sounds of a glass window breaking]
[Sound of crickets chirping begin in the background]
RIK
Oh dear god.
ALYSSA
Argh!
MIKE
Kol dives out of the way of this shattering glass across the side of the classroom. Just in whatever direction he can pick.
ROVER
Mmhmm.
MIKE
And is just in shock at what's just happened. And is oddly confused as to why everyone else seems so calm.
ALYSSA
Well, you didn't give us...
RIK
(Stammers) You think everyone else is calm? Pierre's not calm. Pierre's like "what the fuck?". No, Pierre's also gonna try to dodge out of the way of the broken glass.
ROVER
Mmhmm. Actually, give me, everyone... Yeah, let's just say everyone. I'm just gonna decide you guys are in a line. Give me Dexterity saving throws.
[Dice clacks]
MIKE
Oh lord.
RIK
I should be good at these.
[More dice clacks]
ROVER
You should be.
ALYSSA
I got a 14.
ROVER
14?
ZOE
Wait, how do I do saving throws again? Is it just like the plus on the saving throws?
ALYSSA
Yes, it’s the plus on the saving throws.
ROVER
It is, yeah, it's the modifier saving throw.
RIK
21.
ROVER
21. Zoe? Aleks?
ZOE
9.
ROVER
9. Ok. Kol?
MIKE [as KOL]
Well, obviously I'm the most dexterous of the group. 7.
[Laughter]
RIK
What the fuck?
ROVER
Alright. So, here we go.
ALYSSA
Oh my god, ok.
ROVER
Kol and Aleks. There is a moment where nothing's going on and then Kol hears something and in a split second while Yitri and Pierre are dashing away, you guys are, through your arms, which would be the wing for Kol…
[Sharp violin sound followed by the sound of bones cracking]
… impaled by this sharp bone and you take…
RIK
Wait, by the bone or by the glass?
ROVER
By the bone. By the spider leg. You both take 8 piercing damage.
ALYSSA
Damn!
MIKE
Holy shit. Oh my god.
ROVER
Before it literally vanishes from your arm in a thick smoke and it's just gone.
ZOE
Oh, that's great.
RIK
Pretty sure that's like half of Zoe's health points or something, right?
ZOE
It's not that bad!
ALYSSA
Ha!
RIK
(Sarcastically) Oh, ok, it's not that bad.
MIKE
Oh my god, it's over a quarter of my life.
RIK
No!
MIKE
I've just calculated it. (Laughs)
RIK
Fucking no.
MIKE
Yeah, legit.
ZOE
Yeah, that's around the same for me as well.
MIKE
(Laughing) Oooh! Oh my god.
ROVER
Yeah, when it pulls back, you can all feel the blood running past your arms.
ZOE
My clothes!
ROVER
Your clothes! Koltrast's wing!
ZOE
(Laughing) My clothes!
MIKE [as KOL]
(Groaning) Oh... fuck! Oh, my god damn... Argh! Are you okay? (Exhales)
ZOE [as ALEKS]
No!
[Alyssa laughs]
There was a bone in my arm!
MIKE
As Kol's, like, on the floor staring up at the ceiling, like "this is... this is the fucking worst."
ALYSSA
This is it. This is it!
ZOE
Can I heal Kol?
ROVER
Three seconds. Mechanically, you will not be able to fly well until you have a long rest.
RIK
Pierre's gonna move in and grab a piece of cloth from his backpack. Are you guys in the proximate same area, or are you... did you guys jump in different ways?
MIKE
Oh no, y–
ZOE
I don't think we jumped at all.
MIKE
Yeah, you said we were in a line, so, yeah, we're right next to each other.
ZOE
Yeah.
RIK
Oh, ok. He is gonna go to Aleks first. Go and give him a piece of... sort of try to do a makeshift bandage around –
ROVER
Mmhmm.
RIK
– where it's impaled.
ROVER
Where it was impaled.
RIK
Yes.
ZOE
When you're done, I want to move to Kol and try to heal.
ROVER
Don't say try! Heal! Go for it!
ALYSSA
(Laughing) Heal, yeah!
RIK
Heal, motherfucker!
ROVER
(Laughing) Heal, motherfucker! (Laughs)
ZOE
Ok.
MIKE
Kol's just still on the floor, like, (groans)
ALYSSA
Family Guy death pose, like...
RIK
(Laughing) No, Kol!
ZOE
I want to cast Cure Wounds.
ROVER
Alright, how do you wanna cast it?
ZOE
I don't know. I don't even know how that works.
ROVER
I feel like Cure Wounds... It is a touch spell.
ZOE
Yes. Yes.
ROVER
So you will have to touch a creature, yeah.
ZOE
Yeah, that's why I want to... I went over to Kol and it says that I heal an amount of hitpoints equal to 2D8 plus my spellcasting ability modifier.
ROVER
Ok.
ZOE
Is that just my Charisma modifier, then?
ROVER
(Stumbling over words) Your charisma... your spell... your... Wow.
MIKE
Your spell modifier, yeah.
ROVER
Sell modifier, that's Charisma, yes.
ZOE
Ok, so basically, do I roll the healing? Like, do I roll 2D8 and then add the… 8?
ROVER
Yeah, go for it, roll the healing. Yeah.
ZOE
That is that one. Ok.
MIKE
Yeah, when it's you casting the spell, you always roll.
ROVER
Yeah.
ZOE
Ok.
MIKE
So, yeah, if you're casting a Healing spell, you roll to see how much that person's healed.
ZOE
Ok, and Charisma modifier was the small number under my general Charisma, right?
MIKE
That's the one!
ZOE
Ok, perfect.
[Dice clacks]
Ok, that is a 5.
[Dice rolls and falls]
[Zoe flails]
ROVER
There goes the dice.
MIKE
Bye, dice!
ZOE
An 8.
MIKE
Oh, wow! Perfect!
ROVER
So a 5 and an 8.
ZOE
A 5, 8 and then plus 4. So that is actually just more than you took damage.
MIKE
I was gonna say. Back to max health.
ROVER
So, what I said about your wing; nevermind. You can fly again.
MIKE
Kol sees as the... as the sort of skin and feathers are meshing back together from the Cure Wounds spell, he looks up at you and just says,
MIKE [as KOL]
(Lightly groaning) Thank you.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Not for that.
MIKE
And then gets himself back up.
ROVER
Mmhmm.
[Quiet sound of an animal trilling begins in the background as the sound of crickets chirping continues]
RIK
Uh, question. Did my makeshift bandage do something, as well?
ROVER
You will have stopped the bleeding, however, a makeshift bandage will not get hitpoints back.
RIK
Ok, fair.
ROVER
Give me a Perception check for the people that were not wounded.
ALYSSA
Alrighty.
[Dice ASMR]
Aaw. I got a 9.
RIK
Uh, got a... got a 2 and then plus a 1 that's a 3, uh... yeah.
MIKE
Quick maths.
ROVER
It's fine. Then, ignore me.
[Zoe laughs]
Both of you, ignore me.
MIKE
Kol's just like... as he gets himself up and sort of shakes off the dust a little bit, he's like,
MIKE [as KOL]
What the hell was that?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Whispering) Are you guys okay?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
(Whispering) No!
MIKE [as KOL]
I'm fine.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Well, obviously, but like, are you guys, like... you guys aren't, like, dying, right?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
No, no, we're not dying. It’s alright.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ok, cool.
MIKE [as KOL]
No.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Great, that's awesome.
MIKE [as KOL]
Yitri, we're not dying.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Well, yeah, I know, but... Like, I'm just trying to be nice. Anyway...
RIK [as PIERRE]
I suggest we get out of here, guys.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yes!
RIK [as PIERRE]
That made a huge crash and I'm pretty sure... whatever's out there is less worse than whatever hit us there. In here, I mean.
MIKE
Ah, Perceptive Pierre!
MIKE [as KOL]
He's right, we've gotta get out of here.
ROVER
There's the... the doorknob starts rattling.
[Doorknob starts rattling]
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Quietly) Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
MIKE
Kol is going to topple a table and hide behind it.
RIK
Question.
ZOE
Can I –? Yeah, go first, Pierre.
RIK
Don't usually classrooms have, like, those doors with little windows in them?
ROVER
They do. However, I will say... You know what, for the sake of it, I will say this person is not tall.
ALYSSA
Ha, awesome!
RIK
(Laughs) Halfling energy, let's go!
ROVER
Or Dwarf. (Laughs) Or a Gnome, or anything.
ZOE
I want to run to the door and, like... so, someone is basically kinda knocking, banging against the door. I want to kinda sprint to the door and knock against it myself and being like, "Please, we need help in there. We don't know what that was, but we're... we're attacked and we're trapped and we don't know what's going on." To like… for sympathy points.
ROVER
Ok, hold up.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Whispering) Aleks!
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Hmm?
ROVER
That is happening before Kol puts the table against the door, or is that after Kol puts the –
MIKE
No, no.
ROVER
Ok.
MIKE
I didn't put the table against the door. I pulled the table over and hid behind it.
ROVER
Got it. Alright. Yeah, you hear someone fumbling with the keys –
[Rattling of keys]
– and then the door gets unlocked.
[Door opens]
And there is a...
MIKE
I unholster my shotgun. Covertly.
ROVER
There is a... a Halfling woman dressed in this kinda dark blue... Uhm... No, I can just say bodyguard’s outfit, security outfit.
ALYSSA
Yeah!
ZOE
Yeah.
ROVER
And the crest of the school - this... kind of this sun under a half moon - is on the front of their uniform. And they are holding... they have now pocketed a flashlight. And they're like,
ROVER [as SECURITY GUARD]
Wh-what's going on here?
ZOE
I want to drop to my knees in front of the woman and, like,
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Thank the gods you're here! We don't know what happened! We were attacked, we were followed and chased through the streets and... I-I was a student here, a year back and I thought maybe we could find refuge here in the school. But, it kept chasing us and then suddenly we were on the roof and I-I just tried... I remembered that these skylights sometimes have been left open, because the air in this classroom is just really not good. And I thought we could hide in here and be safe. But then –
ZOE
And I gesture to the broken window.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
– it just broke through.
ZOE
And I try to angle myself so you can see the bloodstained tissue.
ROVER [as SECURITY GUARD]
(Nervously) Oh goodness, ok, uuhm... We don't – Ok, uhm, I-I'm sure there's something i-in the medical room. Come with me, come with me.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Thank you.
ROVER
And she... she gestures for everyone she can see, which is currently not Koltrast, away with her into the school.
RIK
Can I see Koltrast behind the table? Like, am I that... am I able to look behind the table? Or am... is it within eyeshot? No, shit. Is it within my vision?
[Laughter]
MIKE
All of that to say, "can I look behind the table?"
[More laughter]
RIK
Yes, yes, but I don't wanna physically look behind the table and be obvious like, "oh, hey there's a bird-person behind here." No.
[Mike laughs]
Can I… Can I see Kol?
ROVER
Did you… When the attack happened, did you move towards the other side of the wall? Because then... if you're still there, then probably not. However, if you're closer to the wall where the skylight was... then, yeah, maybe.
RIK
I moved over to help Aleks and Kol.
ROVER
True.
RIK
So, if I'm going by that logic, I bet that Kol would've, like, flipped over a table close by.
ROVER
I would say, you're standing next to it. Yeah, then I'm sure you can see him.
RIK
Yeah, yeah. I just take a quick glance at Kol. Like, a quick, questioning glance.
MIKE
I holster my shotgun again, after hearing that actually this person is gonna help us. And tuck it back away. And stand up and set the table straight again.
[Alyssa laughs]
RIK
Pierre nods.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Alright, let's go.
ROVER
Yeah, so she gestures for you all to follow.
MIKE [as KOL]
I’m sorry. I fell.
[Alyssa laughs]
ROVER [as SECURITY GUARD]
D-do you need help as well? Is.. cause I'm sure I can –
MIKE [as KOL]
Fortunately not.
ROVER [as SECURITY GUARD]
Ok, good.
MIKE [as KOL]
But my friend here does.
ROVER [as SECURITY GUARD]
Wonderful. Ok, cool, cool, let's go.
ROVER
And she gestures and she hurries through the hallway. You guys are currently on floor 4. She is currently trying to get you guys four floors down.
ALYSSA
Oh my god.
ROVER
So, yeah, she hurries down the stairs and she keeps looking behind, being like,
ROVER [as SECURITY GUARD]
Are you alright? Can you... can you... Is your... are your legs hurting or anything? Is... What were you guys doing in here? I genuinely thought there was no one here.
ROVER
And she keeps rushing you guys with her.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
We were just trying to hide.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I-I know this building and I thought it's just... It's the top floor, no one should be here. We didn't exactly think it would break through the skylights.
ROVER
Give me... I will say, give me Deception with advantage, because you are –
[Dice clacks]
– lying, but not all the way.
RIK
Oh dear god.
ZOE
(Claps) That's a nat 20!
[Everyone cheers!]
ROVER
So, yeah, no, that makes sense.
ZOE
Good thing for the advantage. My first roll was an 8.
MIKE
Of course it does. Of course we immediately went four floors up in a University. (Laughs)
ROVER
Yeah. That makes sense, absolutely. She... no, she's hurrying. She's not really focused on if you're lying or not. However, she immediately believes you. She can see that you're hurt. And there is... once you're down, to the left is a smaller, kind of, medic room. And she kind of looks through the cabinets and she pulls out a healing potion. And she's like,
ROVER [as SECURITY GUARD]
Here, here, take this. I hope this helps. I-I'm not very good with... with magic but... I know these helped people before.
ZOE
And I take the healing potion.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Thank you, really. Y-you have helped us more than we could've hoped.
ZOE
I drink the healing potion.
ROVER
Cool. (Sing song) That's 2D4 plus 2, question mark?
MIKE
Yeah, 2D4 plus 2.
ROVER
That's... you get 6 healing back.
ZOE
Uhuh.
MIKE
Kol is stood by the door of the medical room, sort of watching this scene unfold, to just make sure that nothing else happens.
ROVER
So she's like,
ROVER [as SECURITY GUARD]
Ok, ok, sit. What was... what was after you guys? Is there something I can help with?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
We don't know. We just... we just saw a leg. It was kinda like a spider leg, but it was just bones. It broke through the window and got my arm.
ROVER [as SECURITY GUARD]
Oh goodness, ok. Uhm... Wh-where... where was it? Where was it?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
It was on the roof.
ROVER [as SECURITY GUARD]
On the roof? Oh my god.
ROVER
And she rushes out of the room. And goes to check outside. You guys are now alone.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Well, that worked better than I thought.
MIKE [as KOL]
Now that was quick thinking. (Sighs) Right. Ok. How close to the office are we?
ZOE
Hey Ro, how close to the office are we? (Laughs)
ROVER
To the... to what office? You mean, the office of Miss Williams?
ZOE
Miss Williams, yes.
MIKE
Yeah, yeah.
ROVER
You would have to go four floors back up to the other side.
[Laughter]
ZOE
Ah! Yeah, yeah, ok. Ok.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Maybe it would be better, then, if we wait for the security guard to come back?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I also think we should do that. We have just gained her trust. If she came back and there's nothing, we could ask her to stay. And then tomorrow, after we have rested, we can go to Miss Williams when she's actually here and speak to her.
MIKE [as KOL]
Hmm, that's a good plan.
RIK
Yeah, yeah.
ROVER
Give me a Perception check, everyone.
[Dice ASMR]
ZOE
Oh. Oh, that's a 7.
RIK
11.
MIKE
(Quietly mumbles to himself) 16.
ALYSSA
I got a 15.
ROVER
11, 16, 15.
ZOE
7.
ROVER
7, ok. So for the 15 and 16, you guys can start to hear mumbling outside into the hall. And it starts out as two individuals, then you hear footsteps going further into the building. Before the Halfling... You can hear the Halfling... Halfling? I think... was it a Halfling woman?
ZOE
Yes. Yes.
MIKE
I think that... You said.. I don't think you specified, but yeah, sure.
ROVER
Ok, now it's a Halfling woman.
RIK
Ro did specify.
ROVER
Wonderful.
MIKE
Did you? Ok. So the Halfling... you can hear the Halfling woman talking. You know what she sounds like. And then it's quiet for a very long moment. Pierre, give me a Constitution saving throw.
[Rik groans]
MIKE
What?!
ALYSSA
Oh! Why do we keep targeting Pierre?
RIK
Alright, here we fucking go.
[Dice clacks]
ZOE
Pierre and saving throws could be its own series.
RIK
Oh, ok! Ok, we're all good. 21.
ALYSSA
Nice!
ROVER
You remember that same feeling that you had back at the dinner table with the orange Tabaxi.
[Whispering, almost humming sounds begin and a low buzz begins to grow louder]
That... you don't feel it's strong as that, however there's a slight buzz in the back of your head. And it grows and it grows for a moment before it quiets down again.
[Buzzing sound stops]
And the Halfling woman has stopped talking outside. Then there are more footsteps leading into the building.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Something's not right, guys.
MIKE [as KOL]
Pierre, what's wrong?
RIK [as PIERRE]
(Stammering) The-the talking, it stopped. The talking stopped. Why would she suddenly stop talking?
MIKE [as KOL]
Pierre, you gotta stay with us here, man.
RIK
Pierre is visibly freaked out at this moment. His neck hair is standing up, he's very on edge.
MIKE [as KOL]
Pierre, what was the talking outside?
RIK [as PIERRE]
I-I don't know, i-it stopped, it stopped. And I have this... this weird feeling. We-we have to go check on her. We have to go check on her.
MIKE [as KOL]
Why?
RIK [as PIERRE]
What if something's wrong? What if that thing that came after us is after her now because of us?
MIKE [as KOL]
What, you mean the spider?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yeah. It wouldn't just stop chasing us.
MIKE [as KOL]
Hmm... Ok, well if you're going, I'm coming with you.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Alright. Let's go.
RIK
And Pierre hurries outta the door towards where he last heard the voice.
MIKE
But before you do, Kol puts a hand on your chest and is like,
MIKE [as KOL]
But you have to calm down, ok?
MIKE [as KOL]
Take a deep breath.
RIK
Pierre straightens out and takes a deep breath.
MIKE [as KOL]
Come on, let’s go.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Alright.
ROVER
As you guys walk out of the door, give me a Perception check, both of you.
MIKE
Okey dokey.
[Dice thumps]
ROVER
The dads protecting the kids, I see how it is.
RIK
Hell yeah.
MIKE
Perception, did you say?
ROVER
Mmhmm.
RIK
17.
MIKE
Holy fucking Christ. 24.
RIK
Ooh! Ooh!
ROVER
Excuse me?
[Laughter]
You know what? Pierre sees through the Earth. Or, Pierre? Koltrast sees through the world.
[Laughter]
MIKE
Yeah, Pierre sees through the Earth, Kol sees through the Universe.
[More laughter]
ROVER
Pierre, you... the first your eyes fall up on is the Halfling woman who is standing in the middle of the hallway looking towards the entrance door of the building. And she looks frightened of something and you feel that she has witnessed something similar to what you have. However, she looks more frightened than you were in that moment. And what Kol can see is that there is a very tall person with what looks like a... it almost looks like a blindfold around. Walking forward further into the school towards the exit door to the plaza. And they are... they're tall. They seem to be... Orcish. And they are just walking full on, as if they can see where they're going. And on their back is this giant sword, like a big Greatsword.
RIK
(Whispering) What the fuck?
[Laughter]
How the fuck do I write this down? What the fuck?
MIKE
Yeah, I was gonna say, I'm frantically taking notes.
[Laughter]
ZOE
My hands are moving so fast.
ROVER
Welcome to the DnD campaign, guys!
MIKE
(Laughs) Uhm... Right, Kol is gonna see this and he recognises that this is weird.
ROVER
Mmhmm, oh yeah.
MIKE
Kol recognises that that is something that doesn't... that's not right. Ok, so... what would he do? I know what he'd do. Ok. Kol takes one look at Pierre, puts his head back around the door and is like,
MIKE [as KOL]
You two need to come right now. Something is not right.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Oh god. (Sighs deeply) Yes. Uh... grab your stuff, we're getting out of here.
MIKE [as KOL]
Oh, we're not getting out of here. We're following that person.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Oh...
ZOE [as ALEKS]
What about the security guard?
MIKE
As he gestures at the Orcish person walking down the corridor.
MIKE [as KOL]
Come one! Quick!
RIK [as PIERRE]
Alright, alright, alright. Let's do this, come on.
MIKE
He's gesturing to, uhm, he's gesturing to Yitri and Aleks.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
We're here now. (chuckles)
MIKE
Yeah, he's put his head back –
ZOE
Yeah.
MIKE
– around the door into the medical room and is speaking to you saying, "Come on, we gotta go quick.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh. Oh, ok,
ROVER
The Halfling woman is not looking up, by the way. She is staring outta the door. And you can try to talk to her, you can touch her on the shoulders, you can move around her. She is not moving an inch and her eyes are just wide open.
ALYSSA
Can I try clapping in front of her face?
ROVER
You can absolutely try.
ALYSSA
She's gonna be like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Clapping) Hello? Hello??
ROVER
Nothing.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
[Snaps fingers] Damn.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Alright. Uh –
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
We're fucked.
RIK [as PIERRE]
– maybe we should bring her to safety and then go after them.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh, yeah.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Yes.
MIKE [as KOL]
Alright, put her in the medical room.
ALYSSA
Is she gonna move at all?
RIK
Someone can pick her up, right? I mean, I'm pretty sure my character can probably...
MIKE
Kol's already starting to pick her up. (Laughs)
RIK
Ok, yeah.
ROVER
Alright. Yeah, she goes with.
ZOE
I want to use the paper that I have and the calligraphy supplies to write a quick note to kind of briefly describe what happened. So that when someone finds her, they're informed, so we don't just, like, leave without saying anything.
ROVER
What do you write down?
ZOE
Basically that there was an attack on the school that she... helped someone. Uhm... Like, with an injury. And just a few minutes later, she was basically petrified. Kinda like an apology that we couldn't stay, but also kinda like this plea to help her if you... if the person who finds the note, can.
ROVER
Ok.
MIKE
So I...Yeah, I pick her up while Aleks is doing that.
ROVER
Mmhmm.
MIKE
And lay her, sort of, gently on the floor of the medical room.
ZOE
Isn't there a bed in there?
MIKE
Is there a bed in there?
ROVER
There would be. Yeah, there is a bed in there.
MIKE
Oh, fine. Well, I'll... Yeah, so I'll pick her up and I'll lay her gently on the bed in the medical room.
ROVER
Ok, cool.
MIKE
And then bolt around the corner and head after this Orc, with everyone, I assume.
ROVER
So are you guys following them?
MIKE
Yeah, absolutely, yeah. Stealthily, though, I think. If possible.
ROVER
Right, cool.
ALYSSA
Very stealthily.
ROVER
Stealthily. Give me Stealth.
ZOE
Hey, Ro. How lit up is this area?
ROVER
Do you have Darkvision?
ZOE
Of course I do, I'm a Half Elf. Please.
ROVER
Ok. Does anyone not have Darkvision?
MIKE
Uh…
ALYSSA
Do I? Wait, do I not have darkvision? Fuck, wait! I do, yes, nevermind. I have Darkvision. We're good!
ROVER
Ok, so everyone has Darkvision, which means –
MIKE
No**.** Nope. Not everyone has Darkvision. I don't have Darkvision.
ALYSSA
(Laughs) Oh... no...
RIK
The Hunter Bird does not have Darkvision.
ROVER
Oh my god.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
So basically, what you're telling me is; you picked me up in the middle of the night and just trusted yourself not to fly against something?
MIKE [as KOL]
I'm a professional.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Hey, ok. Grab my hand, I'm gonna guide you through here.
ALYSSA
She holds her hand out.
MIKE [as KOL]
I'm trusting you.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
What was that?
MIKE [as KOL]
I'm trusting you.
MIKE
And he gives her... he lets her lead in, basically.
ALYSSA
Alright, so she grabs his hand, gives a little reassuring squeeze and just kind of walks forward.
RIK
Aaaw.
ZOE
Can I give Guidance on Kol's Stealth checks?
ROVER
Ooh, hold up... is that...?
MIKE
You...
ROVER
I think so. I'm not sure.
MIKE
Ooh, now that is a good question. Can you Guidance a Stealth...? I think you can.
ROVER
Alright, hold up. I'm gonna look that up.
MIKE
But let's go to VAR.
ZOE
Cause it says 'skilll'.
ROVER
I'm gonna double-check it. "You touch one willing creature. Once before... the target can roll a D4 and add the number rolled to one ability check".
MIKE
Ability check, ok.
ROVER
So that is...
MIKE
A Stealth check.
ROVER
That is a Stealth check.
MIKE
Yeah.
ROVER
Yeah.
ZOE
Then I'm gonna cast Guidance on Kol.
ROVER
Which is very smart, because I was just going to say, "Everyone give me a Stealth check. Kol with disadvantage."
[Good dice clacks]
MIKE
Ok...
ROVER
And you cast Guidance. How do you cast Guidance?
ZOE
I don't know. How do I cast Guidance?
ROVER
It is a... it is a touch...
ZOE
Touch, yeah.
ROVER
A verbal and somatic component.
ZOE
Can I... Can I just take Kol's hand and like, spin him around in a pirouette?
ROVER
Yes!
ALYSSA
Aaaaw.
ROVER
For me you absolutely can. If Kol would do that. (Laughs)
ALYSSA
Well, he has to let go of Yitri first, so... (laughs)
MIKE
I think... If you were casting Guidance and it was a magical ability, I think because of you... maybe because of your pedigree as a Bard, where you sort of shown this amazing Stealth ability, I think because of the way you do it and the way that you offer it, Kol has no choice but to accept the pirouette. And so, literally, you... I'm assuming you grab him by the hand, spin him around, and then...
ZOE
More carefully. Cause, like...
MIKE
Tell me. How does it happen?
ZOE
Kol has made us clear that he doesn't really... just gonna say "do well with sudden movements".
[Violin music starts playing]
So Aleks offers his hand and is like,
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Kol, can you trust me for a second?
ZOE
And kind of waits for you if you put your hand in his.
MIKE
I think he's going to silently accept the gesture. He's looking at you a bit suspiciously, but he accepts the gesture.
ZOE
And when you do and when Kol's hand is in Aleks, he very gently lifts both of the hands up and does this very careful, but still flowing pirouette as to give Kol the chance to, when something is happening that he doesn't like, to just opt out.
MIKE
Afterwards he completes this motion that has never done before and looks at you in the dark and just says,
[Violin music ends]
MIKE [as KOL]
Thank you.
RIK
Oh. Oh!
ALYSSA
Oh, I love this!
MIKE
And... you have Darkvision, right?
ZOE
Yeah.
MIKE
And he carries on, holding your hand.
ROVER
Aaaaw.
ALYSSA
Damn! (Laughing) I see how the fuck it is!
ZOE
Take that, Yitri! (Laughs)
ALYSSA
Yitri's gonna just look and then you can tell if you look at her that she seems a little disappointed, but she's not gonna say anything, because they gotta run!
MIKE
You're just looking over, like (Sassy) "This bitch."
[Laughter]
RIK
Yitri can hold Pierre's hand.
ALYSSA
Pierre can see!
RIK
I can see. (Giggles)
ROVER
Yitri, take one emotional damage.
[Laughter]
ALYSSA
I'm gonna put down on my character sheet; 'Taking one emotional damage.'
ROVER
You take one emotional damage.
ZOE
While Alyssa does that, to really quick just come back to the glorious pun that I had prepared, but haven't said yet.
RIK
Oh yes, please. Please.
ZOE
Could you technically say that, uhm... You know, with Aleks casting Guidance, he just, like, guided Kol through the pirouette.
ROVER
(Whispering) Oh my god.
ALYSSA
Ah! (Laughs) Oh!
ZOE
Thank you. Thank you.
ROVER
So, give me the Stealth checks.
ALYSSA
I got a 16.
ROVER
Kol, still with disadvantage. 16.
MIKE
Yup.
[Dice thumps]
Mine with disadvantage which I'm really gutted about cause I actually rolled quite high the second time.
ROVER
Plus a D4 of Guidance, obviously.
MIKE
Oh, yeah, plus D4 for Guidance, oh my god. So mine was… 14. Wow, that Guidance actually really made the difference.
RIK
22.
ZOE
21.
RIK
Let's McFucking go!
ALYSSA
McFucking go, I love it.
ROVER
So. Yeah, you guys follow this person as they go towards the exit door to the plaza. They stop for a moment, stay very, very still, then they open the door…
[Door opens and crickets chirp]
… and walk out. By the way, you can all see; this person is blindfolded.
RIK
Hmm.
ALYSSA
Are they using echolocation? Would we be able to hear that?
RIK
We just hear screeches. We just hear them screech.
ZOE
Are they clicking their tongue very fast and a lot? (Laughs)
MIKE
(Laughs) Are they just standing there in the corridor going, (makes whale-like noises)
[Laughter]
ROVER
You can... Even if you would've rolled Perception checks, you can not determine any sound or anything from them.
MIKE
I think Kol sort of, while holding Aleks' hand, turns to the group and is like,
MIKE [as KOL]
Come one, we got to follow them. We need to find out where they're going. Pierre, we're going on your hunch here. How are you feeling?
RIK [as PIERRE]
We have to follow them. If they are associated with that spider, we.. we... Sorry, I'm calming down. If they are associated with the spider, we have to follow them.
MIKE [as KOL]
Alright. Lead the way.
RIK
As he does that.
ROVER
Are you guys opening a door?
RIK
Yeah, we're...
MIKE
Yeah, we're following 'em.
RIK
Yeah, we're following this man.
MIKE
Yeah. Yeah, we're doing it, bud. We're... we're really going for it here.
RIK
Towards the plaza, right?
ROVER
Who is opening... who's opening the door?
RIK
Uh, I'll lead, so I'll be opening the door.
MIKE
Oh yeah, do you want a...
ROVER
Give me a Dexterity saving throw.
MIKE
Do you want a marching order? Oh my god.
RIK
Dexterity, fucking Christ on a stick.
RIK
Ok.
[Dice clacks]
ZOE
As I said, Rik and saving throws; it's a story.
RIK
Fucking nat 20, let's McFucking go!
[Cheers from everyone]
RIK
Whew, ok.
ROVER
So. The door opens and...
[The chirping of crickets begin again in the background]
No, I'm not gonna be mean here cause you had a nat 20. Right past your head, past everyone else's head at this point, flies an arrow right back into the wall behind you.
[Sound of an arrow hitting the wall]
MIKE
Oh my god. (Laughing nervously) Oh my god!
RIK
Shit! Shit!
MIKE
(Groans) We didn't check for traps.
ALYSSA
Yitri just looks at the arrow, then back out the front. Just going like...
ROVER
Outside, nothing to be seen, except for the plaza and the dormitory which still has a couple of lights on.
MIKE
Nothing?
ROVER
Nothing.
MIKE
Where's the Orc?
ROVER
Gone.
MIKE
Gone?
ROVER
Gone.
ALYSSA
Huh?! Gone?
ROVER
Gone.
RIK [as PIERRE]
He was right here. He was right here! What happened?
ROVER
Give me a Perception check, Pierre, because you rolled a nat 20 and give it with advantage.
MIKE
I was gonna say, Kol would probably stick his head out the door and see what's going on.
ROVER
Go for a normal Perception check.
[Dice clacks]
MIKE
Ok.
[More dice clacks]
RIK
(Sighs) Ok, thank fuck. 18. The first roll was a 6, so I was like, "Oh shit".
MIKE
(Laughs) Mine was 15.
RIK
Thank fuck I had advantage.
MIKE
Oh boy.
ROVER
15.
RIK
Whew.
MIKE
Yeah, I rolled a 9, Rik. (Laughs)
ROVER
So with a 15, you can't really see too much. Like, you can see the outside space over Pierre's... not even over Pierre's shoulder, you're taller than Pierre. Over Pierre's head. (Laughs)
MIKE
(Laughs) Oh my god, do we, like, Scooby Doo look out the door where one comes out and then the next comes out and the next comes out. (Laughs)
RIK
I'm pretty sure we're doing that, bro. (Laughs)
MIKE
We all stick our heads around and we're like (makes plopping sound).
ROVER
You can see nothing, except for Pierre, you can kind of... definitely because of the nat 20 that you have together with the 18, you can kinda determine how the line would've gone from where this arrow would've been shot. This would've gone either from a lower roof, or a window from one of the other buildings. Probably the building in front of you from the dormitory.
RIK [as PIERRE]
It must have come from somewhere up there. Uh.. We have to go after... There must be someone here.
RIK
And Pierre is positively freaking out.
MIKE
Ah, ah, the temptation. Argh!
RIK
Do whatever you must, dude. Do whatever you must.
MIKE
I mean, does anyone else wanna have a go? I have an idea.
ZOE
I also have an idea, but I don't wanna do it. That would be too early. Cause I...
MIKE
Well, that's fucking ominous, ok. Alright, fine.
[Laughter]
"I can't. I don't know if I have the strength." Uhm, so, ok, so Kol is gonna put his hand on... Cause I assume the outside is moonlit, right? So, there's at least some light out there. So he's gonna put his hand on Pierre's shoulder and be like,
MIKE [as KOL]
Where? There?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Y-yeah.
RIK
And Pierre points towards where he figures the arrow would've come from.
ROVER
Mmhmm. So more towards the dormitory, yeah.
RIK [as PIERRE]
There. Somewhere up... up there. That arrow must've come from there. I'm 100 percent positive, Kol.
MIKE
And just before you say "I'm", of the "I'm 100 percent positive", Kol is out the door and soaring towards where you just pointed at.
ROVER
Flying, I suppose?
MIKE.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
ROVER
Yeah.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
You can't see! What are you doing?
MIKE
It's outside, so that's why I established there was a light source, yeah.
ALYSSA
Oh, she's still gonna say that. She doesn't realise it.
MIKE
(Laughs) "But wait, he's blind!" (Laughs)
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
But, wait, you can't see! What the fuck, man?
ROVER
So, Kol flies up. What is your AC?
MIKE
My AC is 15. One-five.
ROVER
Wonderful.
ZOE
Don't say "wonderful" like that, Ro!
ROVER
So that is...
RIK
Can we get some elevator music?
[Mike starts humming the elevator music]
ROVER
That is 2D10.
MIKE
2D10 what?
ROVER
2D10.
[Ominous dice clacks]
MIKE
Why are you rolling 2D10?
ROVER
And arrow...
MIKE
Yeah?
ROVER
... back where you thought your wing was gonna be healed, the other side of it…
ALYSSA
Ha!
ROVER
… right through it.
[The sound of an arrow flying and hitting Kol’s wing]
It crits.
MIKE
Holy shit!
ROVER
And it's like a... it's a thick arrow pierced through your wing and you take 15 piercing damage.
[Mike groans]
ALYSSA
We just got him, you can't kill him!
MIKE
Ok.
ROVER
And with that you are now going to have difficulties flying, and you are in the air.
MIKE
Yeah. How high up was he pointing? First floor? Second floor?
ROVER
Like, fourth and higher.
RIK
Oh shit. Ok, how far away are we?
MIKE
Ok, so I was pretty high up. Like four stories up.
ZOE
Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Hold your horses!
MIKE
"Please hold, caller."
ROVER
(Chuckles) You have Feather Fall, don't you?
ZOE
I have Feather Falling! (Laughs)
ALYSSA
Let's go!
ZOE
Let me support the party! That's all I can do!
[Mike laughs]
ALYSSA
You've been doing amazing!
RIK
You got this!
ROVER
What is the range of Feather Fall?
ZOE
Uh, the range is 60 feet.
MIKE
Ok, let's play this out, then. How far across the... how far is the thing across? How far was he pointing?
ROVER
The thing was about 100 feet in front.
MIKE
In a straight line? As the crow flies. Badum tsh.
ROVER
In a straight line.
MIKE
Ok, so I probably... I might still be in range, then. Right. Mr DM? Kind DM, the most handsome person in the podcast?
ROVER
I...
[Laughter]
MIKE
And intelligent, might I add!
RIK
Oh, oh yes. Very much so!
ROVER
Hmm. You are just in range of this happening. And as Kol gets shot with the arrow and stumbles and seems to drop, how do you cast Feather Fall?
MIKE
Oh my god, yeah.
ALYSSA
Starts shaking ass. Sorry.
[Laughter]
RIK
Damn!
ALYSSA
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll go now, I guess.
ZOE
Right, how do I do that?
MIKE
I was gonna say, I can paint the scene if you want some thinking time?
ZOE
Please.
MIKE
So Kol launches himself at full speed across the plaza.
[Wings flapping]
Soaring towards where Pierre pointed at. And as he's flying, an arrow comes flying to meet him, goes straight through his wing.
[The sound of an arrow flying and hitting Kol’s wing]
And you see this happen in mid-air, as you see him flying straight and then all of a sudden he spins over. Like, rolls over, and starts falling at a really steep arc. One minute, he was soaring straight, and the next minute it's almost like he went 90 degrees straight towards the floor and his wings are not flapping anymore. He's obviously falling backwards towards the earth.
RIK
Ooh!
ROVER
Pierre. This arrow did not come from the same place.
[Low, ominous tone]
ALYSSA
Fuck!
RIK
Oh, no!
ROVER
How do you cast Feather Fall? To save your new friend!
ZOE
Again!
ROVER
The person who can't see in the dark! The bird! (Laughs)
MIKE
Why is that my main trait that you pick? You could've picked anything!
[Laughter]
But you picked "he can't see in the dark".
ROVER
Gun guy!
ALYSSA
(Laughing) It's the funniest one!
ZOE
Ok. Ok, what if, like... for example with ballet, right? There are moves where you kind of just throw your leg up.
ROVER
Absolutely, yeah.
ZOE
So, kinda something like that. As if, uh...
ROVER
(Laughing) Do you wanna throw your leg up?
ZOE
No! I wanna throw my leg up, but with my leg kinda pointing at Kol. You know, as if I was shooting a spell out of my leg. And then, like... when I put it down again, just instinctively going back into like a, kind of like a ballet dancing position, you know?
ROVER
Ok, so, you have the... you have five different types of positions to keep your foot in and then you can just throw one leg up to the side instead of all the way up.
ZOE
Yeah.
ROVER
You can do that.
ZOE
Yeah, we can do that.
ROVER
Absolutely, sure. If you want to keep it ballet, that's the first thing that I can think of right now.
ZOE
Yeah, honestly, you gave me proficiency on that, I'm gonna use it.
ROVER
Ok, cool. It's the one thing I was not good at, but yes.
ZOE
But yes, then I'm gonna do that.
ROVER
So...
MIKE
I'm falling, by the way. (Laughs)
ROVER
(Laughs) I can just... it's the slow-mo of just, like "aaahhh"
RIK
You've been falling for ten minutes.
MIKE
Yeah, literally. It's like...
ROVER
(Dramatically) "Is someone gonna cast Feather Fall?"
ZOE
"Please, I need it!"
MIKE
The narrative pauses. Kol's just in mid-air, like, "Is this... wait.. please! Anyone? Help!"
[Laughter]
ROVER
Alright, cool. Yeah, so, you do that. And... yeah, that spell comes out of your... your leg goes towards Kol. And Kol, as he started falling… something kind of catches that before he slowly lands onto the floor. And takes no further damage.
MIKE
As I'm falling, can I see anything where Pierre was originally pointing?
ROVER
Give me a Perception check with disadvantage.
MIKE
Ok. That's fair, hold on.
ROVER
Cause you currently also still have an arrow in your wing.
MIKE
Uh, oh, that is... that's not good. Uh... so that's 10.
ROVER
10. You are focusing on the place that Pierre pointed at, and you are so certain that this arrow did not come from there, and you also see no one there.
MIKE
Ok.
ROVER
However, you, at that point, also have no idea where else it's coming from.
MIKE
Oh my god. Argh. So, I fall very gently to the earth, in the middle of the best sniper's trap that anyone has constructed.
ROVER
And Kol's laying on the ground.
ZOE
I want to run towards him to help him up.
ROVER
Mmhmm.
ZOE
And support him to walk.
RIK
Same here.
ALYSSA
Yeah, same here, also. We all, kinda, just bolt it, I guess.
[Cricket chirping continues in the background]
MIKE
And Kol is gonna try and get himself back up and look around to see if he can see anyone else.
ROVER
You can see the party coming right towards you.
MIKE
Oh god.
[Zoe chuckles]
He looks at them in, like, panic. So yeah, he pushes himself up off the floor. And as he's on his hands and knees, he looks forward and sees the whole party running at him. And he knows what this means, and he's like,
MIKE [as KOL]
No! Don't!
ALYSSA
Oh fuck. We fucked up, didn't we?
ZOE
I'm gonna stop.
ALYSSA
We all stop, yeah.
MIKE [as KOL]
Get back inside the building!
ROVER
Give me Initiative, everyone.
MIKE
Oh my god! Well, here we go!
ZOE
Uh, 14.
MIKE
Is everybody ready?
[Dice clacks]
ALYSSA
Are you fucking... I got a 5 again.
RIK
Nat fucking 20, what the actual fuck.
MIKE
Wow, dang.
ZOE
(Claps) Nice!
ROVER
Right. So we got a nat 20.
ALYSSA
Can you fucking 'Steven Universe' your way out of this fight, too?
[Mike laughs]
ROVER
(Inhales) What is your Dexterity modifier? Cause I also rolled a nat 20.
MIKE
(Laughing) Ooh, oh my god!
RIK
That's a 4. It's a 4, motherfucker.
ROVER
You're first.
MIKE
Ooh! Oh, let's go!
ROVER
Actually, yeah, you're first. I'll say you're first.
RIK
(Laughing) What the fuck, bro? What the fuck.
MIKE
"Actually"? What do you mean, "actually"?
ROVER
Between 19 and 15?
MIKE
Yes, 18.
ROVER
Between 15 and 10?
ZOE
14.
ROVER
Mmhmm. And what did Yitri have?
ALYSSA
5.
ROVER
Got it.
MIKE
Oh, no.
[Alyssa laughs]
Oh, Yitri.
ALYSSA
I was supposed to be the tank, bro. We're cooked.
ROVER
Alright, Rik. The last thing that happened is for Koltrast to yell "stop" or "don't".
RIK
Well, Pierre's gonna have a look around. Does he see any cover?
ROVER
Any cover?
RIK
Near Koltrast.
ROVER
You are in the middle of the plaza. There is no cover.
RIK
(Sighs) Alright, well, fuck. Pierre is gonna bolt towards Koltrast.
ROVER
Mmhmm.
RIK
Uhm. Let me actually check if I have something that can make me…
ROVER
What is your speed?
RIK
It's 40 feet, actually.
ROVER
Ok, then I will say you can reach him.
RIK
I'm checking, though, if I can move more. And maybe I can try to drag this man away.
ROVER
I mean, with your movement you could technically still drag him away. Cause you can reach him.
RIK
Yeah, but probably not towards cover.
ROVER
You... Even when you're dragging someone, I think that will do half your speed. So then you can only move 20 feet with... if you're actually dragging Kol away.
MIKE
Would it change your mind to know, I'm not dead. Just to let you know.
RIK
Yes.
MIKE
I am in fact prone on my hands and knees. So, do you...
RIK
That's exactly why Pierre is going towards you.
MIKE
Okey dokey. Alright, then.
RIK
He.. he told you "Ok, it's right there", and he feels guilty as shit –
MIKE
Ok.
RIK
– for why you got fucking shot out of the air.
MIKE
Oh god.
RIK
So he's going.
MIKE
(Strained) Ok.
RIK
Sorry, can't change his mind.
MIKE
Not trying to. It's ok. I love you, man. (Laughs)
RIK
Alright. Uh... (mumbles) I am pretty sure... let's see. Does Step of Wind give me something extra?
ROVER
What is Step of Wind?
RIK
Uhm. Step of Wind is a feature from Monks –
MIKE
Oh my god.
RIK
– that I can use if I spend a Monk point. Or Monk focus point, so...
ROVER
Ok.
MIKE
I'm so sorry.
RIK
Uh, let me check.
ROVER
Mmhmm?
MIKE
I need to... I literally just... I completely forgot about this. I have Alert as one of my feats. Which means I was meant to add my proficiency modifier to my roll.
ROVER
Which roll?
MIKE
So I rolled an 18 without my proficiency modifier. With that, it becomes a dirty 20.
ROVER
Hold up, for what roll?
MIKE
For Initiative. "Alert. Initiative proficiency: when you roll Initiative, you can add your Proficiency Bonus to the roll."
ROVER
Oh!
MIKE
So I didn't add my plus 2.
ROVER
You're still in the same order, so that's all good.
MIKE
Ok. (Exhales) Ok.
ROVER
Alright.
RIK
Alright, no. Step of Wind does not help me move faster, so I'll just use my normal moving speed and I'll go towards Kol. And I try to drag him away.
ROVER
Towards which building? You are currently in the middle of the plaza. And around you are the six buildings.
RIK
What's the closest building?
ROVER
Which building do you want? You have the library, you have the building you just came from. The greenery is there. The Bard College is there.
RIK
So, I figure that the safest place could be where we just came from. Because, you know, that's supposedly clear. So I'm gonna try to... Alright, at least I'm gonna start to drag Kol towards there. Come on, buddy.
ROVER
I will say with the range that Feather Fall had, 60 feet, I'm gonna say, you guys are now 60 feet with your 20 feet... Hold up. With your 40 feet of movement, you have used all your movement. Give me a Strength check to drag Kol.
RIK
Could I maybe persuade you to have this Strength check be, like, Dexterity?
[Alyssa laughs]
Because, uhm... So for attacks, right?
MIKE
That's a bold strategy you got.
RIK
Pierre uses Dexterity.
ROVER
This is not an attack. You are actively trying to pull someone with you. So for that only reason, I have to say no.
RIK
I was... It was worth a try. It was worth a try. Alright.
MIKE
That was so good. I love you, Rik.
[Laughter]
RIK
I was just thinking, "Oh, please. Oh, please!"
ROVER
You can pick up Kol right now. However, you probably can't drag him in this turn. If you want to continue to drag him. It will be, like, three rounds of dragging.
RIK
What if, maybe, I change what I'm doing? What if I try to help Kol up first?
ROVER
That can be done, yes. Alright, you help Kol up.
RIK
Yes, I help Kol up. And I try to support him and try to move him away.
ROVER
Ok. What is your AC?
RIK
My AC is 15, dear sir.
MIKE
(Whispering) Oh god.
[Dice thunks]
ROVER
That is another crit.
MIKE
Well, welcome to the first TPK, everyone, of the campaign.
[Dice clacks]
RIK
What the fuck is a TPK?
MIKE
Total Party Kill.
ALYSSA
Total Party Kill.
RIK
Oh.
ZOE
Everyone just dies.
RIK
You take an arrow in the back…
[Sound of an arrow flying and hitting Pierre’s back]
… of 19 piercing damage.
[Groans from the whole party]
ALYYSA
What's in these arrows? Fucking venom?. Like, what the fuck?
[Laughter]
ROVER
This person has... can crit on a 19 and a 20.
MIKE
Oh my god.
ALYSSA
Oh fuck off!
RIK
Oh my god.
ZOE
Just a question for the rest of the party. When the arrow is shot again, does that mean that we now know where it came from? So, could we technically, maybe see this person?
ROVER
You can ask me again on your Initiative turn.
ZOE
Will do.
RIK
Wait, question, Ro. How much damage did I take?
ROVER
You took 19.
MIKE
Yeah, 19 piercing damage.
RIK
Can I check something real quick?
ROVER
Yeah, go for it.
RIK
"When an attack roll hits you and damage includes bludgeoning, piercing or slashing damage, you can take a reaction –
ROVER
Mmhmm.
RIK
– to reduce the attacks total damage against you." Does this still work against crits?
ROVER
Yeah! Yep! Cause it’s still damage.
MIKE
Yes! Yes, Rik!
ZOE
Argh, yes!
MIKE
Yes, Rik!
ALYSSA
Yaay! Yes!
ROVER
How much? How much can you reduce the damage?
RIK
Alright. So the reduction is 1D10 plus my Dex modifier and Monk level, actually.
ROVER
Roll me 1D10.
RIK
"Um, actually." Alright.
ROVER
While you do that, I'm gonna ask Aleks and Yitri, what are you guys' AC's?
ZOE
17.
ALYSSA
Mine's 17, also.
ROVER
An arrow hits next to Aleks.
[Arrow whooshes past and lands]
[Dice thunks]
Same for Yitri. Another arrow hits next to you.
[Another arrow whooshes past and lands]
ALYSSA
Let's fucking go. Is it coming from the same place?
ROVER
It is coming from the same place. These were three attacks in one turn. It is now Koltrast's turn.
RIK
Just coming back to the...
ROVER
Yes.
RIK
The whole damage thing. I rolled a 8, plus my Dex modifier, plus 4, that is. Monk level is, I think, equal to my actual level, so that's 3. So that reduces it by 15, I believe.
ROVER
So you take 4 damage.
RIK
I take fucking 4 damage.
MIKE
Holy shit. Monks are so goated. (Laughs)
ZOE
Damn!
ALYSSA
Are you fucking kidding me?
ZOE
That's insane!
ALYSSA
Are you fucking kidding? That's broken. Oh my god.
RIK
I am not kidding you, dude. (Laughing) What the fuck.
ALYSSA
That is nuts!
ROVER
Koltrast. It's your turn.
MIKE
So. Pierre has helped me back up so I'm not prone anymore, right? Are we assuming that I'm now standing?
ROVER
Mmhmm. You're now standing, you're not prone anymore.
MIKE
Right. Can... So, do I know where these guys are? Do I know where the arrows are coming from?
ROVER
I will let you make a Perception... If you wanna do a quick glance, I will let you make a Perception check as your bonus action.
MIKE
Bonus action. Ok, yeah, let's do that. I'll take a Perception as my bonus action. Uh... So that is... 19.
ROVER
You can see on the roof of the building where you guys were from...
[Low ominous music starts playing in the background]
You guys can see a smaller humanoid on top of... or Kol can see, there is a smaller humanoid on top of that building. And it's also having that blindfold around their eyes.
MIKE
Ok. How far away are they?
ROVER
Sixty feet and up would be, together a total of about 100, I think.
MIKE
Ok. I think it's time to bust out something. So...
ROVER
Alright.
MIKE
I am, from where I am, I'm going to... In relation to Pierre, are they behind Pierre? Next to Pierre?
ROVER
Behind Pierre.
MIKE
Behind Pierre. So I am going to, if I may, in this order. I am going to put a hand over Pierre's ear, pull my revolver out, and I'm gonna fire a volley of shots up to where I saw the arrow coming from.
ROVER
You can only take one attack, am I right?
MIKE
Yes, that's right.
ROVER
At level 3? Yes. Cool.
MIKE
Well, technically two, but the other one wouldn't be in range, so.
ROVER
So, roll me the attack.
MIKE
Rolling to hit. Oh, it's not good at all. (Laughing) It's an 8 to hit.
[Arrow flies past and lands]
ALYSSA
Oh, no!
ROVER
You miss. It flies past their ear.
MIKE
Ok. So I fire a shot at them and I am gonna run back towards the door that my team just came out of. And my movement is 30 feet, so I'm gonna move 30 feet.
ROVER
Ok. Alright. Moving 30 feet. If you do that one more round, you will be inside.
MIKE
Thank you.
ROVER
Cool. Then, Aleks, it's your turn.
ZOE
I have to rethink everything. I am upset.
[Laughter]
ROVER
You are currently 30 feet away from Pierre.
MIKE
And also 30 feet from the door, right?
ROVER
And, yeah, 30 feet from the door. So you are now kind of next to Kol again.
MIKE
And I'm running past you towards the door.
ROVER
With an arrow in his wing.
MIKE
Yeah.
ZOE
Just a quick question. Could I, right now, cast a touch spell on Kol?
ROVER
Yes, you can.
ZOE
And if I were to, say for example, cast Cure Wounds again, cause apparently that man cannot watch out for his wings...
ROVER
Mmhmm.
ZOE
Would it heal around the arrow? Like, would you need to pull the arrow out first, or can I just heal it and it's fine?
ROVER
I will say you can do both.
MIKE
(Whispering) Oh, Zoe!
ZOE
Ok. I wanna do...
MIKE
(Quietly) Imagine, if you grabbed the arrow, right? And you use Cure Wounds and it disintegrates the arrow out as you're casting Cure Wounds.
ZOE
Ooh!
[Alyssa groans]
ROVER
(Quietly) That's cool, I'll allow that.
MIKE
(Quietly) Do you wanna do that?
ALYSSA
(Quietly) That's cool.
ZOE
(Quietly) I wanna do that!
MIKE
(Whispering) Ok, you do that, ok. We'll pretend it's your idea.
ROVER
Ok, do that.
ZOE
I'm gonna do that.
MIKE
(Whispering) Go, go, go. Yeah, do that. It's your idea. Go, go, go.
ROVER
Alright, cool, go for it.
ZOE
Ok, yeah, I'm gonna do that. What he said.
[Laughter]
MIKE
Oh, man!
ROVER
Alright.
MIKE
No, come one! Take it from me, this is my gift to you. Take the idea. Go one, tell the audience.
ZOE
(Laughs) Ok, then I'm gonna cast Cure Wounds and I'm gonna grab the arrow.
ROVER
Mmhmm.
ZOE
And I'm gonna see, firstly, how much it heals for.
ROVER
Mmhmm.
ZOE
Hopefully a lot. Ok, that's a 6.
[Dice clacks]
That's a 3. So that is 13 hitpoints back.
MIKE
(Exhales) Oh, hell yeah.
ROVER
He takes 30 hitpoints... 13, not 30, 13 hitpoints back. And how do you cast it?
MIKE
Wow, thank you.
ZOE
Yeah, then can I just grab the arrow and while I pull it out, like, spin around?
ROVER
Yes, you can. I will allow that.
ZOE
Then I'll just do that.
ROVER
Alright, cool.
ZOE
And then I'm going to, before I end my turn, move to the door.
ROVER
To the door, got it. And your movement is?
ZOE
Uh, should be 30, but let me double check.
ROVER
Then you can get inside.
ZOE
Yeah, it's 30. Then I'm gonna go inside.
ROVER
You can get inside.
MIKE
Oh my god, that is so cool. You, like, grabbed the arrow, pirouette it out of my wing while healing me and then as you land, you turn in step and run towards the door.
ROVER
Cool.
ZOE
(Chuckles) Yeah, basically.
MIKE
That's so badass!
ROVER
Yitri, it's your turn.
ALYSSA
Ok, so I have a crossbow. So I am also in the building. So can I step out of the building a little bit?
ROVER
You are also about 30 feet... Yeah.
ALYSSA
Can I try to shoot at the person who's shooting at us?
ROVER
Absolutely.
ALYSSA
Or am I too far away? So, I am gonna roll to do that. I am gonna try to aim my lovely crossbow named CiCi, uh...
[Dice clacks]
Are you fucking –? Ok. Uhm...
ZOE
(Laughing) I think CiCi's getting grounded?
RIK
That doesn't sound quite good.
ALYSSA
What do you add to a crossbow? Like, do you add anything?
ROVER
Your Dexterity.
ALYSSA
Well, it’s not gonna do shit. I got a 7.
[Arrow flies past and lands]
ROVER
Misses.
RIK
Fuck!
ROVER
Once again, flies past their shoulder.
ALYSSA
I'm really not doing great with my rolls right now.
MIKE
Wait. Actually, Ro, isn't it plus Dex plus proficiency?
ROVER
It would be Dex plus proficiency. However, in this case, if it's already a 7, you are still not going to hit them.
MIKE
Ok. Alright, fair enough.
ALYSSA
I'm still not gonna hit, regardless. But, yeah, so, I try to do that and it then doesn't work. As a bonus action, can I try to see with my funky, super cool sunglasses if there's any weird magic going on with the arrows? Like, is there anything special with it?
ROVER
Put the sunglasses on as a bonus action and I will immediately say what it is.
ALYSSA
They're already on. She doesn't take them off, usually.
ROVER
Ok. So, do you wanna turn on the Detect Magic of your last thing of the day?
ALYSSA
Yes. Yeah, she's gonna tap the side of it.
ROVER
Cool. There is nothing there.
ALYSSA
Oh, this person's just really good at shooting.
ROVER
When you turn on the magic, no one's there.
ALYSSA
Wait, what?
ROVER
And that is where we end the episode.
[Chirping and music end]
ALYSSA
What the fuck? Ro! Ro! Ro! Ro!
RIK
No one? Excuse you!
MIKE
Oh my god! What? What do you mean, "no one?" What do you mean, "no one?"
ALYSSA
Do you mean, eryone's just fucking gone?
MIKE
Don't you dare say that end line!
ROVER
That remains to be seen! Buh-bye, everyone.
MIKE
No!
[Crosstalk]
ALYSSA
Are you fucking kidding me?! Oh my god. Oh no!
ROVER
Buh-byeeee. Why am I waving? This is an audio podcast. Bye!
RIK
I hate this man!
ZOE
Buh-bye!
MIKE
(Groans) Unbelievable! Argh!
ALYSSA
Fuck you!
[Crosstalk ends]
MIKE
Bye!
ALYSSA
Bye!
RIK
Bye!
[Show outro plays]
Remains To Be Seen is an original podcast created by Dyaflame Studios and licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share-alike 4.0 International License.
Today’s episode was produced by Jo Mendacium and edited by Mees Verkade, Rover Elliott, and Jo Mendacium. It starred:
Rik den Breejen as Pierre Ardoise
Mike LeBeau as Koltrast
Alyssa Roldan as Yitri Meadowtwirls
Zoe Emily as Aleksander Aintsworth
And Rover Elliott as the Dungeon Master
The intro and outro were composed by We Talk of Dreams, and the transcript was written by Kim van Teeffelen.
To get in touch with us and keep up to date with our antics, follow us on Instagram, BlueSky and TikTok @ DyaflameStudios or view our website at www.dyaflame.com
Check our show notes for additional credits, links and transcripts.