001 - Protectors - Roll With It
001 - Protectors - Roll With It
Content Warnings
- Natural Disaster (referenced)
- Missing People/Disappearances
- Being Restrained/Arrested
[Show intro plays]
ROVER
Hello everyone, and welcome to Remains To Be Seen, the DnD show where one group's past could determine the other group's future. I am your host and DM Rover Elliott, and today I am here with...
ALYSSA
Hello, my name's Alyssa Roldan. I use she/her pronouns, and I'm here, I guess (laughs). I don't know.
RIK
My name is Rik. I use he/him pronouns, and I'm ready to roll some dice.
ZOE
My name's Zoe, I use she/they pronouns, and I'm happy to be here.
ROVER
I'm glad you guys are all ready and happy to be here. Welcome to the first-ever episode of Remains To Be Seen. Yay!
[Excited noises from all!]
Very, very excited to start this off. So we are playing a DnD campaign. Can someone explain to the listeners what DnD exactly is? Who wants to start it off?
ALYSSA
(Laughing) I just see Zoe shaking their head, just like, "I don't wanna explain it!"
ZOE
(Laughing) I'm too new!
ALYSSA
I mean, the best way I could explain it...it's, um, not technically, but it's a fun excuse to just flirt with your friends and be a silly little creature. But also the actual game is just...it's an RPG, or role-playing, and you're rolling dice, and those dice determine what happens to you. If you roll good? Good things happen. You roll bad? You die. I'm kidding. You don't die—I mean...not really? I mean, sometimes! I mean, I haven't died yet, but I don't know!
ZOE
Don't jinx it!
ALYSSA
I'm not gonna jinx—fuck. I fucked up (laughing). Yitri—my character—dies this episode. But I don't...I'm not good at explaining things. Could someone take over?
RIK
I mean, you explained the main part really well, I think. You know, it's an RPG. You roleplay with your friends in different scenarios. You roll dice to see what the outcome is, and overall you have fun.
ROVER
Yes, exactly. Good job. Yeah, so we are playing the DnD 2024 system. A lot of people use 5e. We have chosen 2024 to have a bit more character detail and, in my opinion, 2024 just has that...has that extra bit of flavor, definitely for people who are new in the game. And their options are really cool. And we'll get into that later because one of those new options might be one of our characters.
So that is a really interesting thing. Next to that, we also, in our show, have people who have played DnD before multiple times for multiple years. We also have people in our group that, maybe, have started a game and never finished it, or just never touched DnD. So we are gonna try our best to explain...as we play the game and the show along the way, we're gonna try our best to explain every single thing that we're doing as well as we can.
So yeah! Without further ado, shall we get into the story of this campaign? You guys got your notebooks ready?
ALYSSA
Oh, give me a second, give me a second.
ZOE
Yes.
RIK
Oh yes.
ALYSSA
Okay, okay. I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.
ZOE
I'm expecting my hand to hurt after this.
ALYSSA
Oh my god, yeah. Carpal...carpal tunnel. I'm only expecting carpal tunnel.
ROVER
Alright, so: Our story starts in the year 19-something-something, in a Europe that is in some ways very similar to the one you're used to. In other ways, not so much. These lands are steeped in magic, and where 35 years ago was still the Netherlands, today our gaze wanders over a vast swamp. The cause of the flood is to this day a subject of heated debates among scholars, but one fact remains: the flood is not over yet, and it's slowly but surely making its way through Belgium.
While magic has been a steady thing in this world, parts of it are still relatively unknown and undergoing experimental use, including necromancy. Unfortunately the research of necromancy was based in the Netherlands, and thus the part of necromancy where you can revive someone has been lost with the flooded country. So in this world, that magic no longer exists.
Which means that spells like Revivify, True Resurrection, and Raise Dead—things like that, we are not using in our show, nor in our game, obviously.
Now as we zoom in a bit more, we start in the heart of the UK: London.
[Bells begin to chime in the background]
The date is the 21st of October. It's close to 3pm, with the sun set high in the sky. And we see a diverse population gathering themselves around the gates of Darlington Palace, the administrative headquarters of Queen Isobel Darlington and King Ericson the 16th, and the current headquarters for the House of Six, the six European leaders who take the drastic measures for the continent.
[Crowd noises begin]
When we pass along people in the crowd, we can hear them talk about the recent disappearances that have been displayed in the papers and on the radios, exclaiming their country will be much safer now that an official team of Protectors will be assigned to Prime Minister Tobias Isworth and the House of Six. Some do not understand why the House of Six are so adamant on focusing on just a couple of disappearances, while others are a bit nervous about the connections between important architects and prisoners going missing around the same time.
Journalists push themselves in front of the gates to get the perfect photographs and questions in for the assembling candidates at the front of the gates, and the guards are keeping them far enough away as the assistant to the chief of staff checks up on the candidates in the queue.
A newspaper with the headline, "Protectors of the Continent: Who Will Be The Chosen Ones" drops to the ground as we continue our focus to an Eladrin standing in the crowd of speculating people with the Protectors hiring notice firmly in her hands.
Alyssa, would you like to explain to us what your character looks like?
ALYSSA
Okay so in the crowd you see a rather short Spring Eladrin with, like, strawberry-blonde-ish hair, very curly, tied up in a bun with some hair loose in the front. She has pink flowers in her hair, and she has a very funky pair of sunglasses that are...the stem and the nose bridge are all, kind of, swirly metal, which looks very fun. And they're tinted pink and purple.
She wears a periwinkle dress that is longer in the back, shorter in the front, with a...more of, like, a reddish leather corset and some leather pauldrons and knee-high leather boots. She has a small hand crossbow on her belt, and she is holding a greataxe, bigger than her, in her hands. That...it is very much bigger than her. And she is kind of, in one hand, giant greataxe with a little, like...on the bottom of it is a little keychain, basically, on it. And the other hand clutching the newspaper.
ROVER
So between the crowd of people, you can see where the line, the queue, of candidates is starting to form. And you can see a...you think you see, like, a magic detector, like a body scan, where people are going through. And you can see that they...along the gates are standing...Give me a Religion check.
ALYSSA
Alrighty...ah...
ROVER
First dice roll of the game.
ALYSSA
Ooh! I can't fuck this up. (Laughs)
ROVER
So...yeah, so…
[Good dice clacks]
Alyssa's gonna roll a d20, and then add her Religion modifier to the score that she got on her 20-sided dice.
ALYSSA
So I got a 10. My Religion bonus is a zero, so I got a 10.
ROVER
With a 10, you can see that there are paladins edged on the side of the gates, trying to keep people back, definitely making sure that the journalists are not in the way of...pushing against candidates walking into the queue. Also just to hold everyone back, making sure that the candidates are getting their weapons taken from them before they go into the courtyard of Darlington Palace.
You are unable to determine which god...which god these paladins follow. However, you do recognize them as paladins. They are...most of them seem to be Brass Dragonborns. And some of them are more Elvish, but you can see that they have scales on the side of the neck or on the front of their hands.
And now, the question is, is Yitri going to join that queue?
ALYSSA
She is. She's going to join the queue, and she's also going to look a little sad realizing she can't bring her weapons in. (Laughs)
ROVER
Yeah, so...yeah once you're gonna go through the line, you can hear people actually shouting, like, "Oh, this is gonna be so interesting! Who are gonna be the chosen ones?" "Oh, have you seen the newspapers? There's so many people going missing these days! Do you think they'll be assigned to it?"
And you can hear them...like, there's way too many people to tell where these questions are actually coming from. And as you walk into that queue, you at some point get to that magic body scan. And one of the guards next to it, says,
ROVER [as GUARD 1]
You're here for the candidate for the Protectors of the House of Six?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yes, I am.
ROVER [as GUARD 1]
Alright. Can I have your...can I have the advertisement? The hiring notice?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ah, yes. Here you are.
ALYSSA
She hands it over.
ROVER [as GUARD 1]
Thank you.
ROVER
They look through it for a moment. They're like,
ROVER [as GUARD 1]
That is indeed correct. We will have to take your weapons from you. There are no weapons allowed beyond the gates.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ah. F-fair enough.
ALYSSA
She unclips her little hand crossbow from her belt. She puts it down. And then she also...then she kind of looks, has...you know, you can see the greataxe. She can't get away with not having that. So she kind of just, like—
ROVER
Yeah.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Takes a deep breath)
ALYSSA
And she just hands it over. And she looks...you can see...she looks a little upset that she has to hand it over. She doesn't want to lose it. (Laughs)
ROVER
So they...they grab the crossbow and the hand—not the handaxe. It's the greataxe. And they give it to a different guard who walks through the gates to the side. You can see that the people who are gathering themselves...for now, it's quite short. Seems to be, maybe, four people have already entered. And the same guard that spoke to you, says,
ROVER [as GUARD 1]
Alright, please walk through our body scanner. We just need to see if you have any other magic items on you. Just to be sure.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Uh, yeah. Sure.
ROVER
Alright.
ALYSSA
Does it go off?
ROVER
Do you walk through the scanner?
ALYSSA
I do walk through the scanner. Does it go off?
ROVER
Does it go off? Do you have any weapons—magic items on you currently?
ALYSSA
I do, actually. But they're not like scary—
ROVER
Ah—You do.
ALYSSA
It's not for anything crazy. So can I keep it cause it's, like, just like a silly little...nothing special.
ROVER
Once...like there's a flashing light on top of it that goes off. And another guard comes in front of you, and is like,
ROVER [as GUARD 2]
Alright. Please give me the magic items that you have. You will get them back once we got them checked out.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Sighs) Fine.
ALYSSA
She takes off her funky sunglasses and kind of looks at them, and is just like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Please don't lose this. Or any of my stuff, really.
ROVER [as GUARD 2]
We are...We will try our best not to lose this, but I can promise you, we're gonna be very careful with them.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ok, good.
ROVER
So they put them...there's a table on the side of it. They put it on there. You see that there seem to be some magic users checking if the magic is all okay. And the same guard tells you again,
ROVER [as GUARD 2]
Please can you walk through the magic scanner again? We just need to double check if this was everything.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Mmhmm. Yeah.
ALYSSA
She walks through again.
ROVER
Cool. And now it should be fine?
ALYSSA
Yeah, now it should be fine.
ROVER
Interesting. Nice. So once...after that, they...same guard grabs the glasses and is again, like,
ROVER [as GUARD 2]
This seems harmless. Here you go.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Thank you!
ALYSSA
She puts it back on, and she doesn't feel bald anymore.
[Laughter]
Cause she felt bald for a second. She was like, "Oh god. I don't have my funky sunglasses. I'm bald!"
ROVER
(Laughing) Oh no, bald Yitri! What will we do?
ALYSSA
(Laughing) Oh my god!
ROVER
Yeah, so once she gives it back, she is like,
ROVER [as GUARD 2]
Thank you so much. You can join the other candidates. You can join them in the row. Mr. Ortiz will be with you in a moment.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Alright. Thank you so much.
ROVER
Alright. We pan just a couple of people behind Yitri, where there is a Dwarf standing ready just behind this very, very tall, muscular, giant Human man, who…
[Lots of giggles from the group]
Can I have a Dex save?
RIK
Dex save? Oh. You're gonna need to remind me how to do that.
ROVER
Actually, just a Dexterity check. But a Dex save should be also fine.
RIK
How does one do that again?
ROVER
You roll your d20.
RIK
Yeah?
ROVER
And you add your Dex modifier. And if you have proficiency on your skill...your little skill list, if it has a dot in front of it that's colored in, you have your proficiency added, so you had your modifier to it.
RIK
Okay, got it.
[Good dice clunks!]
ROVER
Is it bad?
RIK
Oh! I rolled a 4.
[Laughter]
ROVER
Lovely!
RIK
I rolled a 4. Oh my god.
ROVER
With modifiers? Or you rolled?
RIK
No, this is without.
ROVER
Okay, great.
RIK
Luckily, I've got a +6 for my Dexterity saving throws.
ROVER
Nice!
RIK
Ah, I rolled a 4.
ROVER
Very nice! That is, in total, a 10.
ALYSSA
It's okay, you got a 10.
[Rik sighs]
At the end of the day, it's not always about what you roll, it's about what you add to it.
[Laughter]
RIK
(Laughing) It's what you add to it?
ALYSSA
(Laughing) It's your modifiers that really matter!
ROVER
Yeah, exactly.
RIK
That is...that is...yeah. Yeah, let's just roll with that.
ROVER
So...this guy in front of you is, kind of, slightly jumping on his feet. Like, rolling his shoulders, moving with his arms. And the end of his long sword just hits you in the side of the waist. He's just like,
ROVER [as MUSCULAR GUY]
Oh, sorry, sorry.
RIK [as PIERRE]
(Gasps)
ROVER [as MUSCULAR GUY]
Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry mate, you okay?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.
ROVER
And he looks behind and is, like, this very old, strong, bearded guy. Brown, very thick brown hair, with a thick brown beard.
ROVER [as MUSCULAR GUY]
You okay? You sure you're okay?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, I'm fine. I must say, you got a lovely beard. Seems well-groomed, dude.
RIK
Dude? Hold up.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Seems very well-groomed.
ROVER [as MUSCULAR GUY]
Oh, thank you! Thank you!
[Alyssa absolutely losing it]
ROVER
And he rubs his chin where his beard is.
ROVER [as MUSCULAR GUY]
Yeah, I'm keeping it...I'm keeping it fresh, man.
ROVER
And he pats you on the shoulder. He's like,
ROVER [as MUSCULAR GUY]
So, why are you here?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Oh. Ah, well, um, honestly I really just wanted to go to the UK. And I saw these posters around, and I thought, you know what, that's a good excuse. And so I went. And...you know, it hasn't disappointed so far.
ROVER [as MUSCULAR GUY]
Well, exactly, like—wait, hold on a second, where are you from? Like I know a lot of people here are getting from, like, I don't know. I heard someone getting from Greece. Like, you see, you see those two people, like, in the front?
ROVER
And he points to two smaller Owlins who are already through the gates into the courtyard. Like,
ROVER [as MUSCULAR GUY]
You see...you see them?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yeah, yeah. I wonder where they're from?
ROVER [as MUSCULAR GUY]
They're from Greece. They're from Greece.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Greece?
ROVER [as MUSCULAR GUY]
Yeah, man. Ahh, this is gonna be very interesting.
ROVER
Starts rolling his shoulders again, like he's all up on his feet. Can you also give me a Religion check?
RIK
Religion check, alright.
[Dice ASMR]
Arghghhhh. Nooooo.
[Laughter]
ROVER
Uh oh. Uh oh.
RIK
Guys, I think my dice might be a little cursed.
ALYSSA
Oh no.
RIK
It's a nat 1.
ALYSSA
Oh no!
RIK
The third roll...
ZOE
(Laughing) Oooh.
ROVER
Okay.
RIK
...of the Protectors.
ROVER
That's fine.
[Laughter]
That's alright. That's all good.
ALYSSA
It's okay. You just don't know a lot about Religion, that's fine!
RIK
(Laughing) This is so ridiculous! This is ridiculous!
ROVER
Good! It's okay.
[Laughter]
ROVER
I will…I will just say you don't—you gather absolutely nothing out of it.
[Rik snorts]
Someone apparently...apparently this Dwarf is not really interested in it. Next to that, can you—which I've completely forgotten to say—can you please explain to us what your character looks like?
RIK
My character, Pierre, he is...is quite small. How tall would you say this giant man is?
ROVER
We're looking at maybe 2 meters? Maybe a bit shorter?
RIK
2 meters.
ROVER
Like he's huge. He's buff. Very muscular.
RIK
Umm...I don't have my height in meters. But he is probably less than half his height, probably. 4'5" feet. So that's, that’s, that’s...that's tiny. That's tiny. And he's wearing kind of like travelers' clothes. Bit longer trench coat over his torso, sleeves rolled up. He's wearing leather gloves. And on each arm, he has these tattoos, both of masonry tools—one that reads "Punch" and the other reads "Pitch."
He has also got a belt around his torso, just going across, and on which are said Punch and Pitch, and some other masonry tools.
Along with that, he has long hair. He's currently got that tied up, with a long beard, which is well-groomed and very nicely braided. Both peppery-gray—hair and beard. Yeah.
[Crowd noises continue in the background]
ROVER
Nice. So...yeah, he's like,
ROVER [as MUSCULAR GUY]
Oh. Yeah. I'm, I'm very excited for—I'm definitely gonna get in. I've worked so hard for this. Like, c'mon man. You...you have no idea how much they trained me at the church.
ROVER
And he starts rambling on, like, about his training. And at some point, there is a guard, and they tap him on the shoulder, and is like,
ROVER [as GUARD 1]
I know you're excited mate. You're gonna have to give us your weapons. You're gonna have to go through the scanner.
ROVER
Basically the same thing as what happened with Yitri. And he...just before that, he quickly extends his hand. And he's like,
ROVER [as MUSCULAR GUY]
Oh right, hi. I'm Mads.
RIK
Pierre grabs his hand and shakes it with a firm grasp.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Pierre. Nice to meet ya.
ROVER
If he only had time to see how strong your grasp would be in his own, he would have stayed. However, he is immediately, like, fully rushed through the gates. Hands his weapon away. Before...same thing happens to you, they are like,
ROVER [as GUARD 1]
Sorry. Can you give us your weapons, if you have any?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yes. Yes.
RIK
Pierre grabs his spear from his back and gives it to the man. And gives his backpack, in which is some other weapons.
ROVER
Nice. So they let you through the magic scanner. I assume you've given everything already for the magic—?
RIK
Well...
ROVER
Or have you not?
RIK
No. Uh, you see, I have this Armor of Gleaming on, which is applied to my clothes.
ROVER
Mmhmm. So the same...correct me if I'm wrong. I'm going to be saying female Dragonborn, for the sake of...this is a fem Dragonborn. I do not necessarily know if you call fem Dragonborns female Dragonborns. This female Dragonborn who Yitri was speaking to earlier walks up to you and is like,
ROVER [as GUARD 2]
So you have any magic items on you? We're gonna have to scan it, just to be sure. Like, we need to know what exact type of magic it is.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Alright. Yeah, yeah. I only got my clothes. They're...you know, they wash themselves automatically. You can check those out, though I-I-I'm not really gonna take them off, you know? (Laughs)
ROVER [as GUARD 2]
Yeah, no no no. Don't, don't, you're not—I mean, have you seen the group of people, we would never do that to you.
ROVER
And she points to one of the magic users at the back. Seems to be this Human who walks around you. I'm not going to go fully in depth in what the magic is that they're doing. They check what magic your clothes is—fully check it, and are like,
ROVER [as GUARD 3]
Alright, you seem good to go. Please stand in line with the others.
ROVER
Currently there are about seven, eight people now. And as they...as you get in line with them, can you give me a Perception check?
RIK
Perception check. Alright. Let's hope it's not gonna be garbage this time.
[Rover laughs]
Okay, I didn't jinx it! Let's go! 19, and then plus the Perception modifier, if I can find it. Plus 1. So that's an unnatural 20.
ALYSSA
Oooh, yay!
ROVER
Nice, very good. Very good. So the main things that you can see, without the roll yet, is: in front of Darlington Palace is this...what people can assume is that this is our version of Buckingham Palace. This is quartz on the walls, and the balconies are inlaid with gold. And in front of the archway that would lead further into the courtyard, you can see this...well-dressed, stood up straight, older man that you will know as Tobias Isworth, the president of the UK.
He is dressed in a very long...long coat, black pants, dress shirt, blue tie, and a very…like a dapper hat. And he has a very thick gray beard along his jaw. And he seems to be talking to this shorter, Elvish woman. Her hair is shaved on the sides and, and slicked back. But it's very short. And she is dressed kind of similar to him, more in a tighter black clothing with another black, long coat on it, and she seems to be having a corset on.
Next to her is a Doberman dog, very much stood in place. And he seems to be talking to her, and he does not seem all too pleased yet. And at some point he nods to the back and walks off back into the...further into the courtyard.
Now, as you guys are at the front of the yard, and you guys are lining up, from the place where Tobias just left comes a very similar-looking Elf, except for the short hair. His hair seems to be tied up in a tight ponytail and flows all the way down to the back. And he has this bow around his shoulder, and he stands with the woman for a moment, talks a bit before handing her his weapon.
She seems displeased with him. The moment he hands her his weapon, she's like, "Ugh, really?"
And this guy walks to you. You will know the woman is Xana Ortiz, who is the Chief of Staff of Tobias. Give me a History check. I'm gonna throw you a lot of rolls here.
RIK
Ah, okay, okay.
ROVER
Actually, both Yitri and Pierre, give me a History check.
[Dice clackety clacks]
ALYSSA
I got an 8. (Laughs)
ROVER
Wonderful.
RIK
I got a 12.
ROVER
A 12. (Deep breath) So...at least Pierre can determine these two are definitely twins. However, you guys have not seen him do a lot of stuff around the country, nor around the globe. You don't know much about him. Pierre will know from knowing who Xana is, that his name is Miguel. Miguel Ortiz.
And he stands in front of the line. You guys are with about 10-12 people. And he stands and is like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Good afternoon, everyone. Is everyone doing okay? We having a...good time with our public over there?
[Crowd noises rise]
ROVER
Starts looking around and you can see a couple of people nodding. You can see that the Owlin twins are at some point just like,
ROVER [as OWLIN TWINS]
Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. It’s all fun. Like we talked to some people!
ROVER
And he gives them a look. Like just a very, very deep look, and they shut up immediately. And he says,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Wonderful. I'm glad. So. Let's start with you two then.
ROVER
Walks to the two Owlins who you can see there. He's like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
State your name.
ROVER
They say,
ROVER [as COSMO]
Um...Cosmo. Um...
ROVER
I need to get my notes ready. Ooh.
[Rik laughs]
Ah, so many notes. They at some point say,
ROVER [as COSMO]
Cosmo. A-and this is Cassia.
ROVER [as CASSIA]
Hello!
ROVER
And they wave. And he asks them where they're from. They're from Greece. I'm not gonna play 500 NPCs at the same time; I'm just going to state you what is being heard.
As for what their profession is, they say that they are wizards. They are teachers at a wizarding school in Greece, in Athens. And start talking more...
Can I have a Perception check from everyone?
ALYSSA
I'm gonna try to use a different die this time because I don't wanna roll another—
[Assorted dice ASMR if you listen close]
ROVER
Yes, you too, Zoe.
ALYSSA
Ooooh!
ZOE
I was like, I'm not even there!
ROVER
Who says you're not there?
ALYSSA
Perception...what do I have for Perception? Oh, I got an 18! I see everything!
ROVER
Amazing.
ZOE
I got a dirty 20.
RIK
I got an 8.
[Laughter]
ROVER
Oh, lovely! So—
ZOE
Pierre's too small. He can't see!
RIK
Wait, wait, wait. How many do you have Zoe?
ZOE
Ah, dirty 20.
ALYSSA
(Laughing) First roll is a dirty 20!
RIK
I'm rolling like ass! I'm rolling like ass.
ROVER
Zoe has this in the pocket.
RIK
Wow.
ROVER
So, Pierre like, in this line that you have, the Owlins are on one side, Pierre is on the other side. Pierre is like, he can hear Miguel, can't hear everyone else.
Yitri and...question mark, at this point—
ALYSSA
Oooh, mysterious.
ROVER
—can hear that they are being asked not just what this job would mean for them, but what their biggest fear is. And one of them, the one that is pointed at as Cassia, is looking at him like he knows something about them. And at some point, is looking at Cosmo, and is just like—
ROVER [as CASSIA]
Sh-should we really? Do we really—?
ROVER
And Cosmo is just like,
ROVER [as COSMO]
I-I-I don't...I don't...I don't know.
ROVER
And Miguel seems to just be staring at them, and at some point he cocks his head, and is just like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
If you do not want to tell me, you can leave. You know that, right?
ROVER
And they stay quiet for a moment before Cassia takes a couple of steps back and walks off, back to the crowd. And Cosmo is just like,
ROVER [as COSMO]
Oh, oh, no, no, no, don't—oh. Sorry. Sorry. I'm so sorry to waste your time.
ROVER
And they leave the premises.
ALYSSA
Oh my god.
RIK
What?
ROVER
Then Miguel is just like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Alright. Two down. Eight to go.
ALYSSA
Oh my god!
RIK
What the hell. This man.
ROVER
Alright. And he looks upon Yitri.
ALYSSA
(Squeaks)
ROVER
A couple of...a couple of people next to where the Owlins were. He's like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Hello.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Hi.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
State your name.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ah, my name is Yitri Meadowtwirls.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Where are you from?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Spain.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
And what is your profession?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ah...glassblower.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Glassblower.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, uh—I know it sounds unconventional for a job like this, but believe me, I know what I'm doing.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Hmm. So what would this job mean for you?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Hmm...this job would mean for me...so, I mean, hmm. Well, this job would mean for me that I can prove that I'm more than just the daughter of a glassblower who's, like, honestly, not even really that good at glassblowing. And it means I can not only prove myself, and that I'm more than just kind of an average glassblower. But also, I can protect people that can't protect themselves. Cause I know I can protect myself, but not everyone can. So I want to be able to help people.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
You are very interesting.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Thank you.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
What...do you have any weapons...
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yes.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
...that you have obviously given to the guards, but like?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yes, of course. I have...I mainly use my greataxe, but I also have a hand crossbow in case I need to do some...anything long range.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Wonderful. So why would you be necessary for a team of not just protectors, but also detectives?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I mean, I...coming from a family of glassblowers, and especially I more specialize in, like, some more of the finer details, I tend to see...I tend to look within and see the little bits and pieces of things that some people don't see. And also...hmm. I, I like to think that I'm a good asset to a team. I am...despite how I look, I'm quite strong.
And as a detective, I am...you know, this is gonna sound weird, but people like telling me things. They seem to trust me. So the amount of things that people have just told me, just unprompted. I know way too much about people I don't know. So I feel like people are comfortable telling me some of their deepest, darkest secrets. Honestly, I wish I didn't know, but some people just...so like, I feel like, you know, and also, since I'm a pretty unconventional choice, you might—
ROVER
He lifts his finger to stop you. And is just like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Alright.
ROVER
He folds his hands behind his back...ah, behind his back, and he takes a step backwards. And is like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Step forward please.
ALYSSA
She steps forward.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Now, if we look, let's say, the other line, the other side of the line.
ROVER
And he points to the tall, two-meter, muscular dude.
ALYSSA
Oh god. Oh god.
ROVER
And he leans a bit down to get more to you, and is just like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
So, you say you're strong, perceptive, and you have a good set of weapons with you.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Mmhmm.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Why would we choose you instead of him?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Hmm. Very good question. I don't know him, so I can't really say that, like, I'm the better choice, cause I just...I mean, he's a very large man (laughs). So you—good job. Um, but—
[Laughter]
RIK
(Laughing) Good job!
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I can see you worked hard. I can see you worked very hard on your physique, and I appreciate that.
ROVER
He does—he actually, like, chuckles a little bit, just quietly enough that you can hear it.
ALYSSA
(Laughs) Okay.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
You are correct.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
But I...I mean...I guess I have something to prove and nothing to lose, so I am willing to work hard and prove that I am the better option. No offense, you seem like a lovely individual. But...I mean, honestly, who knows, we can both work, but you know what I mean. I just—I have something to prove and nothing to lose, so...yeah.
ROVER
He has this very slight grin on his face.
[Alyssa laughs]
And he's just like, at some point like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
You are...useful, as what some people would refer to.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I would like to think I am, yeah. I'm also a decent personality hire.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Alright.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I know you're not looking for that, but I've been told I'm a good personality hire (laughs).
ROVER
He leans in a bit closer and just whispers,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Trust me, I am.
[Alyssa laughs]
ROVER
And then leans back, stands up straight, and just does a little point with his thumb backwards, being like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Go introduce yourself to Xana.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ah ok! Yeah.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
You're in.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh! (Laughs) It's that easy? I mean yeah, oh yeah, got it.
ALYSSA
And she walks towards...
ROVER
And he stands up straight. As you get to the woman behind him, she has that same kind of deep look in her face, however she seems much stricter than what seems to be her twin brother.
ALYSSA
Oh god.
ROVER
And she just like, looks to the side, sees the line of guards with all the weapons, and cocks her head towards you, and is just like,
ROVER [as XANA]
Bring the lady her weapons.
ROVER
The guard comes over and hands you your crossbow and your greataxe. And she extends her hand.
ROVER [as XANA]
Xana Ortiz. Nice to meet you.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yitri Meadowtwirls. It's a pleasure.
ROVER [as XANA]
It's a pleasure indeed. Please stand beside me while we wait for the others.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, of course.
ROVER [as XANA]
Thank you.
ROVER
And we focus back on Miguel. And Miguel looks to everyone else and is at some point just like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
See? Just being a normal person, answering normally to my answers isn't good enough to get you into this group. Now—
ROVER
Casts his eye to the side, to a Half-Elf in the line. Would this said Half-Elf explain what they look like?
ZOE
(Laughs) Of course! So that Half-Elf, he is kind of tall and lanky. And he has like a deep brown, fluffy hair—short, but not too short. There's a little braid in his hair as well. And he's wearing kind of flashing clothing with knee-high boots and a corset, and the sleeves of his shirt are, like, see through.
And he's wearing a cloak that is more of a deeper, dark blue. And it ends with...with tinted glass fragments sewn into it, so it's very sparkly. Yeah, and he has two twin daggers—one is more designed after the sun, with a bit of gold elements. One is designed after the moon with a bit of silver elements. And he has a short bow and is carrying a lute.
ROVER
Short bow will be with the guards. But yes.
ZOE
Shouldn't the daggers be as well?
ROVER
Yes.
ALYSSA
And the lute?
ZOE
Is the lute—?
ROVER
The lute you will have been able to have on you.
ZOE
Woo!
ROVER
Give me an Insight check. So roll your d20 and add your Insight modifier.
[Dice clacks]
ZOE
Uh...14.
ROVER
14. You are not too sure, but you do have the feeling that this guy recognizes you.
[Surprised laugh from Alyssa]
And he....he looks at you like...the deep and very proud, strong, confident look that he has kind of just falters for a moment. And then he fixes himself up, and just says,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
You. Step forward please.
ZOE
I step forward.
[Crowd noises continue in the background]
ROVER
Gonna have to retcon. I am...it's...with so many characters, my voice for him is slipping. I'm sorry. He will get better at some point.
[Laughter]
ALYSSA
He'll get better.
ROVER
So...and instead of fully only taking a step forward, he's like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
In front of me, in front of the queue. Come here.
ZOE
I come over, step in front of him.
ROVER
Cool. He kind of scans your entire face with his eyes. And mumbles under his breath,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
(Quietly) When I ask you to state your name, give me a different one. Understood?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
(Quietly) Yeah.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
(Quietly) Good. (Normally) State your name.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Linus King.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Where are you from?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
From England.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
What is your profession?
ZOE
I look down at my instrument, like,
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I'm a bard.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
A bard.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
A bard.
ROVER
He sighs, stands up straight, mumbles once again,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Do exactly as I say. Do not resist. Do what happens.
ROVER
And he says,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Aleksander Aintsworth, you are under arrest.
ROVER
Two guards come up from the side, walk toward you. And they start to grab at your arms. Do you resist?
ZOE
Kind of, but it's more of like…like a show struggle.
ROVER
Mmmhmm.
ZOE
Do you know what I mean? It's like a—
ROVER
Give me a Performance check.
ZOE
Of course.
[Rover laughs]
If I fail this, I'm...I'm reclassing.
ROVER
It's interesting how Aleks is immediately like, "Okay, trust him. I don't know why. We trust him."
[Dice clickety clacks]
ALYSSA
Trust the pretty man!
ROVER
Trust the pretty man!
ZOE
Literally.
[Laughter]
Okay, wait. I gotta do math. Ah...we're good, it's a 23.
ROVER
(Deep breath) Cool. So you struggle. For these journalists in the back, you struggle like it's...like your life depends on it. And they, instead of dragging you out of the crowd, they drag you inside. They drag you through the courtyard. And as you pass Miguel, he just gives you a very quiet, quick nod. And he's just like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
It's okay.
ROVER
And before he...he stands straight again, and he looks upon another Elf in the crowd. And he goes through the same process again before, at some point, he gets another one to step forward, who has this kind of grim reaper mask all over their face. This is a Tabaxi, an orange Tabaxi.
Which, for people who don't know what a Tabaxi is, it's basically a cat-like humanoid. So it's an orange cat. With this large, black grim reaper mask. And Miguel just, once again,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
State your name.
ROVER
They say nothing.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
State your home country.
ROVER
They say nothing. Profession—they say nothing. And Miguel just says,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Alright. Good to know.
ROVER
And can everyone give me, except for Aleks...actually, except for Yitri...
ALYSSA
Oh!
ROVER
Can Pierre give me a Perception check?
ALYSSA
(Laughing) Only Pierre.
RIK
Oh, just...just me.
ZOE
Go Pierre!
RIK
Okay.
[Dice thumps]
Is the side with the dots a 6, or...? Like if it’s on the bottom...?
ROVER
If the dot is under it, then—
RIK
Yeah.
ROVER
—that's where...the dot should be under it.
RIK
The dot's under it. That's a 6.
ROVER
Okay. Oh, that's a 6.
RIK
What was the check again? Perception, right?
ROVER
Perception.
RIK
Yeah, that is a 7. (Sighs)
ROVER
Okay.
ALYSSA
Seven!
[Zoe claps]
RIK
Yes! Yes!
ROVER
For no reason, the...Miguel says,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Alright. Join...join Xana at the back, thank you.
ROVER
And the Tabaxi nods once, heads over and joins with Xana and Yitri. Says absolutely nothing, only does a small bow. The mask stays on their head. And then Miguel's gaze turns upon Pierre. Question goes again,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
State your name.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Pierre Ardoise, sir. Pleasure to meet you.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Home country?
RIK [as PIERRE]
France.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Profession?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Stonemason by origin.
ROVER
He...I was gonna say he audibly rolls his eyes, but that's weird.
[Laughter]
He...you can see him—
RIK
You just hear the slick—ughgh.
ZOE
(Laughing) Oh!
ALYSSA
Ew! Ugh!
ROVER
A dramatic roll of his eyes, and he once again motions you to take a step forward.
RIK
Not phased by this, Pierre does take a step forward.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Now, be honest with me. Why would we...why would we even bother?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Well sir, I think I can add some power to the team. And honestly, some hard-earned wisdom. I've seen a lot of things, and ah, you know I think I'd be a good addition.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Hmm. How old are you, sir?
RIK [as PIERRE]
83. Not that old for a Dwarf, but, you know, for regular humans it's quite a bit.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Hmm. Interesting. So let's see if you don't cower away. What is your biggest fear?
RIK
Pierre looks away for a split second. He does seem to be a little phased by this one.
RIK [as PIERRE]
(Sighs) Not being able to protect the ones that I love.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Hmm. Now before we assign you to Tobias, why are you protecting here instead of seeking revenge on whatever you want with the Bounty Hunters here in the UK? The Wanted Dead? I'm sure you've heard of them.
RIK [as PIERRE]
I've heard of them, sir. (Sighs) Honestly, I don't quite know yet.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Look at me when you speak.
RIK
He looks up again at him, looks him dead in the eyes.
RIK [as PIERRE]
(Firmly) I am not sure yet. But all I know is that I don't, right now.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Hmm. Join the others at the back with my sister. We'll have a conversation about that later.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yes sir.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Good.
RIK
Pierre takes a deep sigh and straightens up and walks to the rest.
ROVER
So, as you walk to the rest, there is...Yitri's there, Xana's there, and this orange Tabaxi is there. And yeah, Xana extends her hand, just like,
ROVER [as XANA]
Xana Ortiz. Nice to meet you.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Pierre. Pleasure to meet you.
ROVER [as XANA]
Interesting answers you had there.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yeah...there's been some history with the Bounty Hunters, ah—
ROVER [as XANA]
I do not need to know.
[Laughter]
ROVER
And she points to the side to have you stand there. And while Miguel does this entire spiel with everyone in the line, you can see that Mads is still there, which is the strong, muscular Human, and there seems to still be a Halfling stood there. The Elf that he was speaking with earlier has been sent away.
And he looks at both of them and has a big sigh, looks behind him at you guys. Now at this point, also, the guards bring Pierre his spear. And as he looks past you guys, there is Aleks still being dragged into...through the courtyard, and is being dropped, at some point, in front of the door of the actual palace.
And they hold...they still hold your arms, and one of them mumbles,
ROVER [as GUARD]
What did you—? Why did you even come here to sign up for this if you knew you'd be arrested for something?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Well I do live for the drama.
[Laughter]
ROVER [as GUARD]
Oh my god, typical bards.
[More laughter]
ROVER
And they push open this large, ornate door for you to get into the main hall of Darlington Palace.
[The door creaks open. The crowd noises fade away.]
And you can see that it's this grand, marble and gold hall, and gold is inlaid in the walls and the balustrades along the stairs. You can see that there's this large painting of what you know as Queen Isobel Darlington. And...can you give me a History check with advantage because you're from the UK?
So, basically, roll a d20—two d20s, and take the highest one.
[Solid dice thunks]
ZOE
That is...it was History, right?
ROVER
Mmhmm.
ZOE
(Laughing) That's another dirty 20.
ALYSSA
Damn!
ROVER
You're rolling well! Okay, Zoe!
ALYSSA
Give us your luck! You have to share. You have to share—you can't have the luck if you can't share with the class.
[Laughter]
ZOE
Well at least you're not arrested!
RIK
I think Zoe needs the luck.
ZOE
(Laughing) That's what I was about to say!
ALYSSA
Actually, you know, rolling really well, but also, under arrest. So like, I mean, I don't know.
ROVER
(Laughing) Oh my god. Um, yeah, so you can see that, next to...once you go up the stairs, once you would go up the stairs, further in the hall you can see the big painting of the House of Six, the six political leaders from the...from Europe. And you can recognize all of them. I will not state their names just yet, but you know that they are from…House of Six. There you go. So you can recognize them as one from Belgium, France, Germany, Italy, Greece, and obviously the UK, which is Tobias.
You know that this hall is also used for when the House of Six gathers together for something very important, which you know is currently. Like there have been so many disappearances going on, the House of Six is gonna gather here soon enough. And you guys will not only be serving Tobias, but also the House of Six.
However, have you been chosen? Apparently so, because you've been arrested inside, instead of kicked out.
[Laughter]
And they...they let you go. And outside is...Miguel has sent both of these two away. Like, the big strong muscular Human is gone, and the Halfling is also being pushed away. Outside you can hear,
ROVER [as MADS]
I-I-I trained for this! I don't, I don't really understand. Why am I being—why am I being pushed away? I trained for this. I work with these people!
ROVER
And Mads is just, at some point, also grabbed by the guards and pushed out away from the gates.
ALYSSA
No! I liked him, I thought he was silly!
[Rover laughs]
RIK
(Sighs)
ROVER
People are attached to Mads, good to know. (Laughs)
ZOE
I mean, no. No, Ro, we hate him! There's no attachment there!
RIK
Do we?
ALYSSA
Actually, we hate him! We want him dead. I'm not attached to anyone, I just think it's funny that the first thing with Pierre is he gets stabbed by this massive man. I just think that was really—
[Zoe laughs]
Especially with how, like, casual my introduction was—
ROVER
(Laughing) Gets punched.
ALYSSA
—and then it's just like, yeah, you get actually stabbed by this really large man, and then the other person gets arrested! I'm like, wow! Woah guys!
[Laughter]
ALYSSA
I'm having it too good too early. I'm scared!
[Rover laughs. That's not ominous at all, I'm sure. Right? Right?]
ALYSSA
I'm scared.
RIK
It just went from great to worse.
ALYSSA
I—yes. This is gonna be a fun ride, guys.
ZOE
Nah, I'm doing great.
RIK
Poor Aleks. Poor Aleks.
ALYSSA
Poor Aleks, you're getting dragged—
ZOE
What do you mean, "poor Aleks," I was...I'm doing great!
[Laughter]
RIK
Are you though? Are you doing great, good sir?
ALYSSA
If you see me getting dragged by Miguel, do not ask any questions, I'm exactly where I want to be (laughs).
ZOE
(Laughing) Exactly.
RIK
Oh my god.
ROVER
So, once everyone's gone, Miguel kind of, like, how do you call that? Like doing this, how do you call that?
ALYSSA
Like wiping his hands off?
ROVER
No, like straightening his coat.
ROVER
He's straightening his coat, yeah.
ALYSSA
Straightening his coat, got it.
ROVER
He's straightening his coat and turns around, big smile on his face, walks to where Yitri and Pierre and this Tabaxi are. And he gives a big, toothy grin to Xana, who looks so displeased.
[Alyssa laughs]
This woman looks so displeased. She was very polite to you guys; she does not look polite to Miguel. And Miguel's just like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
So, this seems to be a good, good asset. Maybe. Who knows. We'll find out soon enough. C'mon, give a bit of a smile.
ROVER
He says to Xana. Xana literally turns around, walks toward where they brought Aleks to the actual palace. Miguel's strong and kind of overly confident, very—how do you call that? Kind of strict?—look has dropped. And you can see that the crowd behind the gate is still trying to talk to the candidates that were basically pushed out. They are trying to get photos and everything of the Human that is now making a whole fuss about not being chosen behind the gates.
And Miguel just stands with you guys, like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Alright. So, I really hope you guys have actual skills in you, cause...(the verbal equivalent of a shrug). I mean, this apparently was not the way to see that, thank you Xana.
ROVER
And he gives an actual side glance to where his sister came from.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Please drop the formalities to me. I do not want to be...I do not even want to be here. It's all good.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh, oh. Okay.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
So, let me introduce myself.
ROVER
And he actually extends his hand towards everyone except for the Tabaxi, and shakes the hand with like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Miguel. Nice to meet you.
ROVER
The orange Tabaxi gives him a nod. He, Miguel, gives him a nod as well. They do not speak with each other. And he mentions to you guys,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Just...just, you know, follow Xana along. She will get there. Do not mention anything of what just happened with the arrest. We will get to that later. They will be joining you and the team. We just need to make sure that he understands what he's doing, because currently I do not think he knows what's going on.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Do you think we all know what's going on? I mean, I mean...not to be like that, but...you kind of just, like, didn't show any skills. Like I just kind of...you kind of took my...I mean, I have the skills, but you kind of just, like, took my word for it? Which I appreciate, because like now obviously I'm—But, like, and also this guy doesn't talk. No offense, but like...I mean, maybe there's like a vibe going? Like I get that. Sometimes there's no words exchanged—
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Yes.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
—and you get the vibe. But like...and then, but then you arrested that guy. But like, he's a part of the team? I'm just confused. And I'm sorry if I'm being forward. I just want to know what I'm getting myself into. Cause, I mean, I know, but like...with what's going on right now, I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I know! (Laughs) Like...
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
So what is your main question?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Uh...why did you arrest that—
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Do you want to know who he is?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I want to know who both the dude we, the guy we arrested are, and this person right here. Um, yeah.
ALYSSA
She looks up at the Tabaxi, and is like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, I want to know your deal. You seem cool. Like, dark and mysterious and stuff like that.
ROVER
So Miguel chuckles a bit, and is like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Okay. So, what do you know about Aleksander Aintsworth?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Nothing. I don't know—I don't know who that is.
ROVER
Give me...give me a History check with Disadvantage.
[Dice clacks]
ALYSSA
Oh god.
[More dice ASMR]
I got a—wait. History? What's my History bonus? (Laughs) Wait, wait, no wait. History…I have something there. I got a 3!
ROVER
Pierre, also feel free, you're also there to give a Perception check—a Perception check?—a History check with Disadvantage.
RIK
Alright.
[Solid dice clacks]
ALYSSA
I got a 3. (Laughs)
RIK
Wait, how does Disadvantage work again, actually?
ROVER
Disadvantage is basically, you roll your 2d20s, and you take the lowest one.
RIK
Ah, okay.
ROVER
So with Advantage, you take the highest one. With Disadvantage, you take the lowest one.
[More dice thunks]
RIK
(Laughs) Fucking hell.
ALYSSA
(Laughing) Where have I seen that dice luck before?
ROVER
Mmhmm.
[Alyssa laughing]
RIK
A 4.
ROVER
Lovely.
ALYSSA
We don't know shit—
ROVER
I want to retcon this.
ALYSSA
We don't know shit about this man!
[Zoe laughs]
RIK
I rolled a 13 first! The second one is a 3.
ROVER
I will retcon this. You guys are indeed from different places.
ALYSSA
Yeah, we don't know shit.
ROVER
Currently Zoe also has no idea why her character has been arrested.
ALYSSA
Oh my god!
ZOE
Nah, I'm just like, "What the fuck's going on?"
[Laughter]
ROVER
So—
ZOE
I'm enjoying the paintings.
ROVER
Continue on—
[Laughter]
Continue on with you saying you have no idea.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Nah, I don't know the name. Doesn't ring a bell. Is it some like—
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Good.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Did he kill somebody or something? Did he kill a lot of people? People usually get arrested for killing a lot of people. I don't know if you can answer that, actually.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
We are not necessarily sure if he has actually killed someone. However, he has been declared missing for the past six months, so I'm very curious as to see why he suddenly decided to show up.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Huh. Okay. So, do you think—was he one of the people that went missing that, like, we're trying to find? And then he just kind of like, okay!
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
No.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Okay, different kind of missing. Got it, got it, got it.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
It seems to have nothing to do with the people that have gone missing currently. However, if it is, then this would mean...(sighs) this would mean a lot of things. Anyway.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Cool cool. Cool cool.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Um...your other question was...
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
What's your name?
ALYSSA
She looks at the Tabaxi, like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
What's your name?
[Laughter]
What's your deal? You seem cool. (Laughs)
ROVER
The Tabaxi looks at you. Give me a Constitution saving throw.
ALYSSA
Oh my god! (Laughs)
RIK
A saving throw? Oh my god.
ALYSSA
A Constitution saving throw...okay, I have good Constitution. Okay.
[Dice clickety clackety]
I got a 17.
ROVER
17. You do not see any eyes deflected through the mask. It is completely covered. This grim reaper mask is completely covered into the face, and you do not see the eyes. However, you can feel that something is trying to fully, like, read everything that is currently in your brain.
ALYSSA
There's not a lot in there (laughs).
[Laughter]
Just so you know, there's not a lot in there!
ROVER
(Laughing) There is not a lot in there.
RIK
What the fuck?
ALYSSA
Not a lot in there!
[Laughter]
ROVER
And they...they give you a nod. Stay silent the rest of that. Give me a Perception check, Yitri.
ALYSSA
I was gonna say, do I get a name out of that? Like...
[Dice ASMR]
I got a 5. (Laughs)
ROVER
Wonderful.
ZOE
(Laughing) Nice.
RIK
We are rolling so high! So high!
ALYSSA
Hey I got a 17. We're doing great, guys. We're doing great!
[Laughter]
ROVER
I'm so proud of you guys. This is just the best. This is just absolutely the best.
ZOE
The high rolls are with the arrested guy.
ALYSSA
Yeah!
ROVER
And Miguel looks at both Pierre and Yitri, and is just like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Ignore them. Just, just follow Xana. I will have a word with them.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Ah...okay? Like…cool? Ah...hmm.
ALYSSA
And she just kind of whispers to Pierre, like,
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
(Whispering) I'm gonna figure out their name. I don't know how, but I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna figure it out.
RIK [as PIERRE]
You and me both, buddy. You and me both.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, we got—cause, you know, we're working together. I don't wanna like, be like, "Hey, you over there. Like, that's rude."
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yeah, yeah. And I'm kind of, like, they gotta, they gotta have a bit of—
ROVER
Are you guys whispering this in front of Miguel, by the way? Or are you guys walking?
ALYSSA
(Laughing) I think we're walking and talking.
RIK
Oh, we're walking along, right? Like, we were walking along...
ALYSSA
Yeah, we're walking and talking. We're not just...imagine just in front of Pierre—not in front of Pierre, not Pierre, but Miguel.
RIK
(Laughing) That would be, that would be so stupid.
[Laughter]
ALYSSA
She's dumb; she's not that dumb! (Laughs)
RIK
No, no. Otherwise, I would have not...played open cards.
ALYSSA
(Laughing) You would have never responded.
RIK
No. No. (Laughs)
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Cause, like, yeah...I mean like, also, like, I dunno...of course if we're working, I wanna get to know you all and stuff like that. Like—I think I'm getting a little too hung up on this, I think. Cause like, also, I'm just really confused. Cause this was way too easy.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yeah.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
You just answered the guy's questions, and you just like, "Okay, cool."
RIK [as PIERRE]
And how much they know about us?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah!
RIK [as PIERRE]
That seems a little odd.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, especially cause, like, I know I'm not from here. And you—are you from the UK?
RIK [as PIERRE]
Not at all.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah, I mean—yeah, nah, I don't know how that happened. This is a little sketchy. Little sketch. But like, it's a job, and people are missing. We gotta, like, help them out.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yeah. Yeah.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Also, when I looked at the cat person? No eyes behind the mask. It was, like, really freaky. But, like, I felt eyes piercing into my soul? But, like, I didn't see them. It was really weird.
But, you know, I'm not—I don't wanna be mean, cause like, we're working with them. This is our, like, partner, and stuff like that, like I don't wanna judge. You can have eyes if you want to. I'm not gonna judge.
RIK
(Laughing) You can have eyes if you want?! That's awesome.
ZOE
(Laughing) How nice of you!
[Alyssa laughs]
RIK [as PIERRE]
Yeah, eyes are optional.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
I guess so. I didn't know they were until today.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Eyes need not apply.
ALYSSA [as PIERRE]
I guess...I guess so. (Laughs)
RIK
Pierre has a little chuckle.
ROVER
So as you guys also follow Xana, she takes you guys through the ornate door, and you indeed see Aleks there. The guards are still at his side, however, they are not holding him anymore.
RIK
Hmm.
ROVER
And Xana is just, at some point, like,
ROVER [as XANA]
Just...(sighs) Oh, this is going to be an absolute mess. Why do I even let him do this? Okay.
ROVER
She stands up straight and walks in front of you guys. And just says,
ROVER [as XANA]
Good, a team. Wonderful. I think. Um. Oh, this is...hmm.
ROVER
She looks to all of you and just, at some point mentions,
ROVER [as XANA]
You guys are gonna go get a room. You guys will be assigned your own butler. And we will, in about an hour, when you've had your...your...
ROVER
Wow, words are a thing.
ROVER [as XANA]
You guys will have time to have a bit of a rest, kind of get yourselves prepared before we will get you guys downstairs again and talk you through what the actual plan is for this. Understood?
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Yeah.
RIK [as PIERRE]
(Sighs) Yeah.
ROVER [as XANA]
Now, we have a bit of an incident in between us, I guess. Um, Aleksander Aintsworth, that's your name?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Theoretically yes. I prefer Aleks.
[Alyssa laughs]
ROVER [as XANA]
Aleks Aintsworth. Interesting. I currently am not aware as to why my brother decided to arrest you. You will have to talk with him about that. While I get these two to their rooms, you will have to stay down here with the guards until Miguel comes back. Understood?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Yes. Understood.
RIK [as PIERRE]
Ah, three.
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Okay, I mean, what about...what about the other guy?
[Rik laughs]
ALYSSA
I'm, like, very concerned about this other guy.
ROVER [as XANA]
I don't—I will get that later. I genuinely...if...with all due respect, if you are confused about my brother, I am more confused about him than you are.
[Rik laughs]
ALYSSA [as YITRI]
Oh wow. So you're very confused. You're very, very confused. Got it. And he can just, like, order people to get arrested? That's a thing he can do? He can just, like, do that?
ROVER [as XANA]
He can do a lot of things, and being a smart and helpful assistant is not one of them. Anyway.
[Alyssa laughs]
ROVER
She—
RIK
I love Xana.
ALYSSA
Me too.
ROVER
What?
RIK
I love it. I love how you characterized Xana.
ZOE
I'm so gay.
RIK
It's fucking amazing.
ROVER
Xana's great.
ALYSSA
Me too!
ZOE
Ah, a woman. Ooh!
[Rik laughs]
ROVER
Now, since I like to get you guys more into the world as well, you guys can choose what species your butler is, and what their name is.
ALYSSA
Oh, that's a lot of pre—that's a lot of...hmm. Hmm. I can do so much with this.
[Rover laughs]
I can do so much with this. This is kind of dangerous. I don't know.
RIK
Mr. Chuffley.
ALYSSA
Banger name. Banger!
[Rover laughs]
ZOE
That's lovely. That is amazing.
ALYSSA
Mr. Chuffley, you had that ready! You were waiting for someone to ask you to name a butler!
[Laughter]
RIK
No, I just came up—I just came up with that on the spot. (Laughs)
ALYSSA
That's beautiful.
ROVER
Amazing. Think about it.
ALYSSA
I'm gonna name it Geoff, spelled Geoff, with a g, but it's pronounced Geff.
[Laughter]
ZOE
Geoff? Geoff the butler.
RIK
Geoff.
ROVER
Geoff? You want to have Geoff the butler? Alright.
ALYSSA
Geoff the butler! (Laughs)
ZOE
(Laughing) Geoff.
ALYSSA
Um, species...I don't know, I didn't think I'd get this far. This is harder than creating my character!
ZOE
No it is. It is.
ALYSSA
This is so much like, cause I'm like, yeah, I could pull a Spring Eladrin out of my ass, but like, a butler?
ROVER
You want to just say a Human?
ALYSSA
You know what, yeah. Human butler named Geoff.
ROVER
Human, great. And yours, Pierre?
RIK
Oh we each get a—? We each get a—
ROVER
Yep! You all get a butler.
RIK
Oh! I thought we all got one butler, as a group.
ROVER
No, no, no. You get a personal butler.
RIK
Cause we all got one room to—okay. Okay, okay. Each get a butler. Um. Um. Um um um um um. Jones Chuffley. I like the Chuffley. Jones Chuffley.
ROVER
How do I—Chuff—okay. Sure. Yeah.
ALYSSA
(Laughing) Chuffley!
ROVER
Who is Jones Chuffley?
RIK
Just write something! Yeah, Chuffley. Yeah, like that.
ROVER
Yeah. Yeah, sure? Okay. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. You also want it to be a Human, or...?
RIK
Umm...You know what, yeah. Human's fine.
ROVER
Nice. So we have Geoff, or Geoff (pronounced Geff), and Jones. The two butlers. So Xana points them over, and they come over. And she just says,
ROVER [as XANA]
Lead them to their rooms, please. Thank you.
ROVER
And the butlers nod. And they are going to lead you guys up the stairs towards your rooms. Now, as that happens, Miguel walks into the hall to where Aleks is. And Aleks, I need to know—because you are a Half-Elf, you speak also Elvish, right?
ZOE
Yes.
ROVER
Okay, good. So as Miguel walks past you, he gives a...he puts a hand on your shoulder as he passes before he walks to Xana. And they are mumbling something to themselves. And...give me a Perception check.
[Dice clattering]
ZOE
Ah...13.
ROVER
13? You are unable to follow the entire conversation that they're having. However, in Elvish, you can hear them say something along the lines of,
ROVER [as XANA]
Listen, you take my orders. You do not do whatever you want.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
I don't take orders from my sister. I am your boss. You do what I say.
ROVER
That is along...kind of along the lines what you can gather from the small conversation...
ZOE
Mmhmm.
ROVER
…before Miguel turns around, and is just like,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Aleksander Aintsworth.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
It's Aleks.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Aleks.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Thank you.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
No worries. Would you like to follow me please?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Of course.
ROVER
And he...he takes you to this kind of side room, a smaller door at the side of the hallway that leads to a more office-located area, like a one-person office. And he puts his hand on one of the chairs and says,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
I’d like you to sit down, please.
ZOE
I sit down.
ROVER
He walks around, sits on the other side, and leans back, puts his feet on the table, and next to him, he grabs a...kind of this file. And he looks through it, and he takes out this kind of older-looking missing persons poster. And he slides it toward you.
And he...you can see on this poster, that it is indeed you. It is about...it is a picture from when you were in college. It's this black and white photograph. And he looks at you and says,
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Do you want to give me a reason as to why I should not immediately hand you in to The Wanted Dead? And get my bounty back?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Well, I mean...as far as I'm concerned, I saw three people walking through the gates in the palace, but if I remember correctly, you're looking for a team of four. So, kind of still need to fill a spot. And since we're here talking right now, and I'm not in a cell, I feel like you want me to fill that spot.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Why are you missing, Aleks?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Well it appears I'm not anymore.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
No, it appears you aren't. Jesus, Mr. Fancypants over here.
[Laughter]
Alright. People are looking for you.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I am very aware of that. Why do you think I came here?
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Who exactly are the people looking for you? I am not aware of the people who put these posters up.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
That's interesting. You knew so much about everything else.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
I know a lot. I do not know everything.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
And what will you do with the information if I tell you?
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Not hand you in to a bunch of quite hungry-for-money bounty hunters, that are currently looking for about 500,000 gold for you.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
That is more than I expected. Wow. Yeah, but you...I guess you have a compelling argument. Well, I'm kind of on the run right now, and the people after me—I guess, the person after me—is Chester King.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Chester King?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Yeah.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Understood.
ROVER
He grabs a piece of paper and a pen, writes the name down.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
While you join this group, I will need you to stay in disguise.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
I can do that.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Until we find this Chester King, you will need to be very careful of your moves. Do you know where this Chester King is located?
ZOE [as ALEKS]
The last time I checked, it was in Chesterfield, but...haven't been there in a few months.
ROVER [as MIGUEL]
Well, prepare yourself. Cause Chesterfield is located near the exact area where we are going to have you guys headed.
ZOE [as ALEKS]
Now that's just lovely.
ROVER
And that is where we're going to end the first episode of the Protectors group. Ooh! Okay! We have the start of our group. A lot of confusion happening in this group, obviously.
ALYSSA
Yeah, what the fuck!
[Laughter]
ROVER
We have a little bit of Aleks lore already there. That's gonna be really interesting. And yeah.
Thank you all so much for being here. Thank you so much for listening. And what happens in the next episode, and what happens in the Bounty Hunters episode, remains to be seen.
Buh-bye everyone.
ZOE
Buh-bye!
RIK
Buh-bye!
ALYSSA
Bye!
[Show outro plays]
ROVER
Remains To Be Seen is an original podcast created by Dyaflame Studios and licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share-alike 4.0 International License.
Today’s episode was produced and edited by Jo Mendacium, and it starred:
Rik den Breejen as Pierre Ardoise
Alyssa Roldan as Yitri Meadowtwirls
Zoe Emily as Aleksander Aintsworth
And Rover Elliott as the Dungeon Master
The intro and outro was composed by We Talk of Dreams, and the transcript was written by Elizabeth Simpson.
To get in touch with us and keep up to date with our antics, follow us on Instagram, BlueSky and TikTok @ DyaflameStudios or view our website at www.dyaflame.com
Check our show notes for additional credits, links and transcripts.